The petite brunette woman standing at the huge wall of windows brushed her hair back gracefully. Her large brown eyes, heavy with make-up, narrowed as the sun reflected off the water. She wrapped her arms around herself, and then put two fingers of one hand to her lips in thought. She was wearing black satin lounging pajamas with a matching black satin robe. {Black – appropriate color. I suppose I should get used to wearing it. I wonder how long the official mourning period has to be?} She was still staring out at the water when she heard a voice from behind her.

"I do that a lot, too." A tall, thin adolescent with dark brown hair came to stand next to her and join her in staring out at the water. "It makes me feel closer to him somehow. Like maybe he’s staring out at the same waves and wondering how we are." Miranda stared into the boy’s eyes and saw that they were bloodshot, either from sleeplessness or from crying. He had on some faded old blue jeans and a cream-colored polo shirt with the insignia of J&J Charters embroidered on the pocket. He shoved his hands into the pockets of the jeans and looked out into the vast watery horizon, almost trying to will a plane to appear.

She put her arm around the boy. "We have to be realistic, Jason. He’s been missing now for almost three weeks. The plane just disappeared from the radar screens." Miranda’s voice took on a dramatic sob quality. "I think it’s time we said it out loud. Your father is probably dead."

"JAX IS D*MN WELL NOT DEAD UNTIL WE FIND HIS BODY!" a voice interrupted them. Miranda and Jason spun around to see Jax’s brother Jerry enter the room. He was only 18 months older than Jax and they constantly joked about him being the "big brother" since he was actually shorter than Jax. His dark coloring and smaller stature made people do double-takes sometimes when they were introduced as brothers, although on closer examination, they had the same amazing blue eyes.

Jason immediately left his mother’s embrace to go to his uncle. "Uncle Jerry! Any news? Do they need any help looking? I’m getting pretty good at flying now -- I mean, I could at least go as co-pilot if all the regulars are getting burned out!"

Jerry put his hands on the boy’s shoulders, smiling at his youthful enthusiasm and love for his brother. "No, Jase, I’m afraid there’s no news yet. But we can’t give up hope. After all, the area where the plane went down is huge, and we haven’t even scratched the surface when it comes to checking all of those little islands in the South Pacific." He looked at Miranda critically and walked over to where she stood. "Don’t you think it’s important that we keep thinking positive thoughts, Randy? I mean, it is a little premature to be hanging the black crepe, don’t you think?"

Miranda bristled at his words. Jerry had never liked her. From the moment they met at her and Jax’s hasty wedding ceremony, he had made his loathing of her very obvious. Her treatment of Jax and Jason in the following years only reinforced his feelings towards her. She folded her arms. "I am not wearing black because I’ve given up hope, Jerry. I just happen to like wearing these pajamas." She reached down to pinch some of the robe fabric between her fingers lovingly and looked up with tears in her eyes. "Jax always loved these pajamas on me."

Jerry valiantly tried not to vomit. If Jason hadn’t been there, he would have asked Miranda when the last time was that Jax saw her in those pajamas. According to what Jax told him, he hadn’t touched her in over ten years, and could barely stand being in the same room with her. Miranda’s voice interrupted his thoughts again as she was still protesting her hopeful attitude.

"Of course I still believe that Jax will be found. I mean, it would be too cruel for fate to take him away from me now – not when we just so close to reconciling." Jerry had to stifle the urge to strangle her. Jax had called him from Sydney the day before the ill-fated flight, making arrangements for him to meet him at the airport with a car. Jax was anxious to get home, alright. But it was only because the army of lawyers on Miranda’s side had finally come to an agreement with the army of lawyers on Jax’s side and the divorce would become final.

Jerry looked at her cynically. "Really, Randy? I wasn’t aware that you two were growing that ......close."

She sniffed theatrically. "I was *so* hopeful, Jerry. Our communication level was so much more open and honest lately. I just know that when you find Jax, he’ll come home and the three of us can be one happy, loving family again." She looked at Jason happily. "I know you probably think that your father was serious when he mentioned our divorcing, but in his heart of hearts, he wanted us to be back together just as much as I did -- and still do."

Jerry glanced at Jason. {If your cr*p detector isn’t going off yet, my brother hasn’t raised you as well as I think he has.} But Jerry wasn’t disappointed. Jason gave his mother a cold look, and then turned back to his uncle.

"So what about my offer, Uncle Jerry. Can I go along on the search and rescue operations?"

Jerry shook his head. "No, Jase. Your place is here, with your mother. I’m sure Jax would want you to stay here, with her, keeping things running smoothly around the house. And I know Lady Jane likes having you here with her, too. She misses Jax bloody awful, you know. I think having her only grandson here makes it a little less painful for her." He looked down at the floor self-consciously. "Especially when I’m going to be leaving shortly to assist in the search myself."

"You’re going out, too?" Miranda said in disbelief. "Jerry, don’t you think you should stay here? After all, what if something happens to your plane, too? Your mother wouldn’t be able to stand it if she lost both of her sons."

"Ahhh, that’s my Randy," Jerry said, coming over to put his arm around Miranda’s shoulder. "Always the optimist." He gave her a frigid look and then went back over to where Jason stood. "I’ll be searching that area of the Pacific where the radar lost contact with your father’s Lear. I pulled a few strings and got the use of a private shipping fleet to do some in-depth scouring on some of the remote islands. I’ll stay in constant radio contact with home base in Honolulu." {And I don’t want you anywhere near the area just in case all I find is debris and the remains of body parts.}

Jason looked disappointed but accepting of his uncle’s reasoning. "OK. I think I’ll go visit with Lady Jane for a while. Does she know you’re leaving?"

Jerry nodded. "I told her this morning at breakfast. Why don’t you call your grandfather in Honolulu and tell him I’ll be leaving within the hour and I’ll catch up to him." Jason smiled at Jerry and then, after glancing back briefly at Miranda, he left the library.

Once Jason was gone, Miranda crossed her arms in exasperation. "Frankly, I don’t understand why you have to go at all, Jerry. I mean, according to all the newspapers, Jax’s passenger was some model who was dating a mob kingpin. He’s been mounting a thorough search for her, contacting all the international arms of the Mafia to help him. If La Cosa Nostra can’t find them, why do you think that you can?"

Jerry went to the desk and ran his finger along the blotter. "That’s my Randy, all right. I’m expecting you to burst into song any minute, singing that nauseating song from the musical about the sun coming up tomorrow." He gave her a piercing look. "You really don’t *want" me to find him, do you?"

"Of *course* I do, Jerry. How can you say such a thing? You know that I love Jax." He gave her a look, and she stuck her chin out for emphasis. "Really!"

"You may think you love him, Randy, but you and I both know that all you love about Jax is his checkbook. Now that the boy’s gone, we can be honest." He walked over to where she stood and looked her straight in the eye. "But I happen to know my brother a little better than you do, and I’m sure he’s still alive. He’s too d*mn stubborn to die and let you have a big settlement, Randy. I’m sure he’s hanging on somehow, if only to spite you." He chuckled a little to himself. "In fact, the main reason I’m anxious to be there myself when he’s found is to tell him you haven’t signed the divorce papers and hear what he calls you."

Miranda stamped her foot, with tiny black maribou feathers on her mules flying in all directions when she did. "D*mnit, Jerry, why can’t everyone stop being such cockeyed optimists and accept the fact that Jax is probably dead? They never found any sign of debris. They never got a mayday. The plane just disappeared. It’s like he vanished from the face of the earth. He’s GONE!!"

Jerry started to walk out of the room. "Is that what you really want, Miranda? It must be hard for you, I guess. Decisions, decisions."

"I take it there’s a point to this," Miranda said, trying to sweep past him and leave the room.

Jerry grabbed her by the arm. "You bet your sweet @ss there is, darlin’. I figure you must be tossing and turning at night, trying to figure out what you really want. The way I see it, if Jax is really dead, you get the settlement you’ve always been dreaming of as his widow. And you won’t have to ever see him looking at another woman with the special look he used to reserve for you -- in the beginning." She tried to pull away, but Jerry wouldn’t let her. "On the other hand, if he’s still alive, you get a chance to throw yourself at him, trying to re-kindle some of the passion that was there in the beginning. After all, if you can somehow seduce him into letting you into his bed, you can be the lady of the manor again, and that’s better than any settlement you could get."

Miranda finally pulled her arm out of his grasp and was exiting the room when she heard his chuckle. "But I think you’re going to need every aphrodisiac in the book to charm his this time, darlin’. If Jax is half the pilot I think he is, both he AND his passenger probably survived the crash. According to the newspapers I’ve read, his passenger not only is the mob kingpin’s moll but is also quite a looker." Miranda looked back at Jerry to find him lounging against the door frame, looking down with a smirk at his fingernails. "If I know my brother, his hormones went into overdrive the first time he looked at her and he’s already doing the horizontal mambo with her."

"You’re a disgusting pig!" Miranda hissed. "Besides, if Jax is as smart as you say he is, then he would realize that getting involved with the mobster’s main squeeze is an instant death sentence. I don’t think he’s going to be anxious to be first in line for a pair of concrete overshoes."

Miranda turned her back and her satin robe fluttered in her wake as she left Jerry standing in the doorway. "Oh, I don’t know about that, Randy," he said softly. "I wouldn’t be too sure if I were you."

Jax stood in the shallow waters of the ocean, carefully eyeing a small yellowtail that kept swimming between his legs. "OK, you little tease," he muttered softly. "I’ve had enough of your games for today. So now be a nice fishie and....." He coiled and struck, but then cursed loudly as the fish swam away again, healthy and happy.

He waded back to shore and threw down his spear in disgust. He sat down on the beach and looked out toward the ocean, bringing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. He felt a muscle pull in his right arm as he did, but when he went to massage the ache, he smiled when he remembered what had caused the pain.

Brenda promised him she would get even. She threatened that he would need to sleep with one eye open after that day that he gave her the forced bath in the ocean. Being a truly worthy adversary, she waited and bided her time until the night before. He had fallen asleep after making love to her and was awakened abruptly when she poured several gourds of ocean water over his head.

He had pointed out the futility of her actions -- by getting even in that way, she had only dampened her side of the bed, too. But then he took care of that problem by sweeping her into his arms and carrying her out onto the beach, where he made love to her again in the warm moonlight.

Jax felt his body respond as he remembered the way her eyes glittered in the tropical night. Even then, Brenda had taken her own manner of revenge as she pushed him down into the soft sand and straddled his upper body. He had recognized her effort to be in control and decided to let her have her way, anxious to see what she would do. She placed her delicate hands on his chest, palms flat, and then she had leaned down to begin kissing her way down his body. When she began to move lower and her tongue teased at his navel, Jax had let out a moan. As her hair swept across his stomach, that moan had escalated in volume until it was almost louder than the gentle roar of the surf. She had had her revenge, all right, but this time it was NOT a dish that was served "cold." And afterwards, he had told her he loved her, just as he had many nights since they first made love.

Brenda had been surprised the first time he said it. He knew that -- he could see it in her eyes. But he was never so sure of anything in his life. And she never said it back to him, and that made him wonder. He knew Brenda cared for him -- she came to him willingly each night. Sometimes SHE even initiated the lovemaking. But during the day, she was clearly ill-at-ease around him. It was like she forgot how to talk to him in the daylight ever since she learned how to communicate with him in the dark. {Maybe it’s because she’s still thinking of the mobster -- Sonny. Maybe it’s because she misses him during the day.} Jax had a sobering thought. {Maybe it’s because she thinks that I’m missing Miranda that way, too.} If he could just get her to open up to him during the day the way she did during the passion-filled hours of the night.

Jax let out a long sigh. {Well, it really doesn’t matter. Because she’s mine now. I’ll never let another man touch her as long as I’m alive.} Jax had made up his mind after the first time they made love that he would do whatever he needed to do to keep her -- whether they were ever rescued or not. He never wanted to let her go.

{So -- that should be easy enough. All you have to do is make sure that she CAN’T leave you. Easy enough on the island. But how are you going to manage that once you get back to civilization?} Jax sat and thought for a moment, and then rose one eyebrow as his lips began to turn up in a satisfied smile. {It won’t be that tough at all. You won’t even have to do anything that you’re not doing already! She’s not on the pill -- and we’re certainly not using any other kind of birth control. So if I just keep making love to her, she’ll get pregnant. Then she can’t possibly leave me, even if we do get rescued.}

Jax stood up, picked up his spear, and stared at the ocean. "Little fish -- prepare to meet your maker!" He strode confidently into the shallow water again, quite pleased with himself at figuring everything out so well. He came up short and rubbed his open hand over his face, snorting softly. How ironic it was. {Yep -- you’re a real genius, Jax. You figure that the way to keep the woman you love is to get her pregnant. Wasn’t that the way that you got the woman you THOUGHT you loved 15 years ago?}

*~*~*~*

Jasper Jacks had lied about his age and tried to join the Air Force when he was 16 years old. He had been flying ever since he was old enough to sit in a pilot’s seat and reach the controls of a plane. When it was discovered that he was under-age, he was sent back home with a strong reprimand, but as soon as he turned 18, he joined again and this time he stayed.

He loved the Air Force life. He spent most of his career stationed at an Air Force Base near Los Angeles and his family. When he was almost 20 years old, he decided one lonely Friday night to go to a dance being held off the base. It was that night that changed his life forever when he met Miranda Jameson.

Jax was a handsome man, and his youthful good looks combined with an Air Force dress uniform made him practically irresistible. But Miranda took his breath away like no other woman had before in his life. She had dark hair and the largest, most expressive eyes he had ever seen. She was wearing a red cocktail dress that had a criss-cross bodice cut low in the front and cut even lower in the back. Red was definitely her color. He saw that she had been watching him for most of the evening and was a little shocked when she came up and asked him to dance. He was even more shocked when she pressed her body suggestively against his while they were dancing, and was pleasantly surprised when, after only a little preliminary kissing and petting, she suggested that they go to her hotel room.

Jax found out a lot about Miranda that night, and she taught him a lot of things he thought most "nice" girls didn’t know about. When he returned to the base the next day, he found out two things about her. She was a distant relative of some important family in Greece, and she had already been with most of the other men in his barracks.

But Jax defended her to the other men. Miranda made him feel like he was the only man in the world for her. She stopped seeing any other men and told Jax she loved him. The only thing that made Jax happier than being with Miranda was flying in his jet. Then, one evening, all of that changed. Miranda took him back to her hotel room and dissolved into tears, telling Jax that she was pregnant. She was afraid that her conservative family in Greece would disown her and make her return to the homeland in order to put her away somewhere quietly until after the baby was born.

Jax had always been a caretaker. He had put his arms around Miranda and told her not to worry, that he would take care of everything. And within a few days, she became Mrs. Miranda Jacks in a civil ceremony with Jerry and his parents as witnesses. Jax celebrated his 21st birthday on his honeymoon with his new wife and a baby on the way and felt that he was on top of the world.

But he soon found out that Miranda wasn’t all she pretended to be. Jax was transferred to an Air Force Base on the East Coast. He began to get disturbing phone calls from his mother, telling him that Miranda was growing bored staying around the house all the time. She had been caught sneaking out to dance clubs more than once. Jax blamed it on her hormones being in upheaval with the pregnancy. Once it became necessary for her to wear maternity clothes, she fell into a deep depression.

Jason Jacks was born 8 months after Jax married Miranda and Jax got an emergency leave to return home and see his new son. Jason had Miranda’s dark eyes and hair, and the first time Jax held his son and the baby grasped his finger, he knew his heart was lost. Jax hoped that motherhood and maternal feelings would draw Miranda out of her depression, but unfortunately, the baby didn’t have the same effect on her that he did on Jax.

Jax returned reluctantly to the East Coast and put in for a transfer while Miranda took the baby home to the family estate at Malibu. John Jacks pulled some strings and the transfer came through after a few weeks, but when Jax returned home he found that the situation had only gotten worse. Miranda had immediately begun to disappear evenings and Jason was often left in the care of his grandparents. Jax soon put an end to that, caring for the infant and then toddler Jason. They became inseparable, although Jason still seemed to love his mother – whenever she deigned to be around.

When Jax was discharged from the Air Force, he took the small nest egg he had saved, bought his first jet, and started J&J Charters with his older brother. They flew the first runs themselves, and the business took off. Busy executives liked the idea of being able to schedule a trip on a comfortable jet as easily as they hailed a cab at rush hour. By its second year, J&J Charters was out of the red and soon Jax and Jerry found themselves buying more jets, hiring pilots, and becoming millionaires.

Miranda liked the money. She found new reason to be around the house – Jax refused to fund shopping sprees for a wife who didn’t even live under the same roof as he did. The physical side of their marriage had been practically non-existent since before Jason was born. Jax only allowed Miranda to stay under the same roof since there were a lot of bedrooms in the house and Jason seemed to love her.

That all changed when Jason was two years old and had to have an emergency appendectomy. Miranda wasn’t around – again. She had gone on a holiday with an old school chum, so Jax and Lady Jane took the boy to the hospital when he developed a fever and excruciating stomach pains.

Jax was sitting in the surgical waiting room when the doctor poked his head in and requested to see him privately. Jax’s knuckles grew white as he gripped the edge of the chair. He had even donated blood when they arrived at the hospital, just in case Jason needed a transfusion during the surgery. But the doctor quickly reassured him that it wasn’t anything serious. It was just that there was what he called a "sensitive" problem he wanted to discuss with Jax in private. As they spoke in a smaller office, the doctor explained to Jax that he was puzzled that routine blood tests had shown that Jason’s blood type was totally incompatible with his father’s. He was trying to be as diplomatic as possible, but the bottom line was suddenly clear to Jax – there was no possible way that he could have been Jason’s biological father.

As Jax sat in the recovery room, silently watching his sleeping son, he made a vow. Jason would never know that Jax wasn’t his biological father. He was the only father the boy had ever known, and he couldn’t take that away from him. He had no mother, for all intents and purposes, and he would not deny him the family that the boy already knew and loved as his own. Jason would never suffer for Miranda’s sins.

When Miranda returned from her holiday, she found Jax waiting for her in his study. He told her to have a seat, and calmly explained to her that he had discovered her dirty little secret about Jason. Despite her tearful protests that the doctor must have made a mistake, Jax stood firm. He informed her that he would not insist on a divorce, since he didn’t want to subject Jason to growing up without the mother he had come to love. But as soon as possible, she was to move her things to a small residence on the outer boundaries of the estate and was only welcome at the big house as a visitor. He wanted a legal separation, but Miranda finally convinced him to postpone that decision until a later time, after she had proven to him that she would reform and become a model example of motherhood.

Her reformation never happened. Jason began school as his father and mother began leading their own lives, barely making contact. Once Jax told Jerry the whole story, he made himself Miranda’s shadow, making sure that her social life was kept out of the headlines and Jason had no inkling of what was going on. Jax threw himself into making J&J Charters more successful than it already was, and eventually found himself in the company of beautiful women who were content to have his attentions, even if it meant dodging reporters and photographers.

When Jason was 8 years old, Jax decided he wanted to end the charade and he approached Miranda about filing for divorce. No matter what kind of settlement he proposed, she turned it down as not generous enough. Jax was so anxious to end the marriage that he finally told his lawyers that he would sign a blank check and she could fill in the amount -- he just wanted it to be over.

Miranda stormed into his office a day later to give him her answer in person. Her face was flushed and her dark eyes sparked. She calmly seated herself opposite him, looked him in the eye, and gave him her ultimatum. If Jax kept insisting on a divorce, she would "leak" the information to the press that he wasn’t Jason’s biological father and the boy was a bastard.

Jax’s eyes narrowed. "You wouldn’t. Why would you want to ruin your own reputation like that?"

She laughed and it chilled Jax’s blood. "Come on, Jax -- this is the twentieth century. Women get pregnant out of wedlock all the time and they aren’t considered "damaged goods." I haven’t done anything that a lot of women haven’t done before me."

"Well, then," he said, leaning back in his chair and folding his hands, " it shouldn’t make a difference to Jason either, should it? If it’s so common now, it won’t be any kind of blotch on HIS reputation either. So what’s your point?"

She smiled. "Jax -- and you consider yourself to be such a GOOD father. Haven’t you ever heard of something called peer pressure? Maybe little Jason won’t suddenly be blacklisted anywhere, but what are you going to tell him when he comes to you in tears, asking you why some other kids at his school are laughing at him and calling him a bas .."

She never finished the sentence as Jax sprang to his feet. "That’s enough! You’ve made your point! GET OUT!!" She triumphantly rose from the chair and turned to walk out of the office as Jax stood there, his chest heaving.

The subject of a divorce never came up again but Jax’s lawyers had finally gotten her to agree to a legal separation when she needed a large sum of money right after her "ultimatum." As far as Jax knew, Jason still didn’t know the truth about his parentage. Lady Jane, John Jacks, and Jax’s older brother Jerry provided Jason with all of the extended family he needed. And Miranda was still granted visiting privileges and showed up for all the holidays. Jax let her keep the small residence on the estate and on holidays, after Jason had gone to bed, she returned to her own bed -- far from Jax.

*~*~*~*

Jax let out a yelp as he missed the yellowtail one more time. He cast his eyes toward the skies. {It’s not me, Thomas. That’s one cunning fish there -- or maybe it’s just because I’m distracted. That’s it -- I’m distracted.}

He waded ashore again and glanced down the beach where he saw Brenda sitting in front of their hut. He smiled to himself. That’s what he needed to get his concentration back. {Are you crazy, Jax? Look what happened to you the last time you brought a baby into the world without the benefit of marriage vows. But Brenda wouldn’t be like Miranda. She just wouldn’t.}

Repeating that comforting mantra to himself, Jax started to make his way back down the beach towards Brenda. If his plan to keep her was to get her pregnant, there was no time like the present to work on putting the plan into action.’

Sonny Corinthos sat at a desk in the penthouse suite he had occupied ever since he came to California to personally oversee the search for Brenda. He frowned at the telephone, then at the laptop computer in front of him, and then began furiously typing another e-mail to a contact in Hawaii.

He stood up when Jason Morgan entered the suite. "Any news?"

Jason shook his head. "It’s like they vanished off the face of the earth, Sonny. The radar people say they had them on the screen, and then they just disappeared. They can narrow it down to a part of the South Pacific, but there’s thousands of small islands in there to search."

"THEN SEARCH THEM, D*MNIT! I WANT HER FOUND!" Sonny exploded at Jason but then put his fingers to the bridge of his nose. After a few seconds, he put his hands on his hips and shifted from one foot to the other. "I’m sorry. It’s just that it’s been so d*mn long and everyday it’s the same thing -- not a trace. No wreckage, no bodies......nothing. I just can’t understand it."

He walked back to the desk and then looked up as he sat down. "What about that guy you found yesterday? The one that we think works for Moreno?"

Jason came to sit in the chair opposite the desk. "We brought him in, Sonny, and you were right. He does work for Moreno."

Sonny’s face fell. "Tell me, Jason. There’s something you don’t want to tell me -- I can tell. Go ahead -- right now I’ll even settle for bad news."

Jason took a deep breath. "We brought him in and we finally got him to talk a little while ago. Apparently Moreno doesn’t feel you’re running the territory the way it should be run."

"He’s not happy with the cut he’s getting -- he wants it all." Sonny shook his head in disgust.

Jason nodded. "So he decided to send you a little message and he used Brenda to do it."

Sonny’s face turned white. "Moreno sabotaged the plane?"

"It looks that way." Jason spoke in a soft voice. "A few of the regular mechanics at J&J Charters were suddenly taken ill and some temporary replacements checked the plane out before it took off."

Sonny picked up a piece of paper and he crushed it in his hand. "He’ll pay for this," Sonny muttered. "Nobody takes my woman away from me and doesn’t pay for it dearly."

To be continued...