As she dried herself after her shower, she turned critically and looked at herself in the mirror. Her body only barely showed signs of Jax’s child growing within her. Her breasts were fuller, and there was just a slight pout to her tummy. Maybe he wouldn’t find her repulsive yet. Her ankles hadn’t swollen, like Monica said they would. Of course, after the way she had treated him, trying to keep their child a secret, she expected his anger. She still wasn’t sure, though. One moment she would justify her actions all over again, and be furious at him for upsetting her plans to marry Sonny. The next, she felt like she should be flogged for her duplicity in trying to keep the baby’s existence a secret from him.

{How’s daddy ever going to get through the next 7 months with me in this shape? I can barely decide what to wear, my hormones are so off kilter. My value in making smart business decisions will be next to nothing.}

After putting on some jeans and a T-shirt that clung to her curves becomingly, Brenda braved her way out of the bedroom. Jax was seated at the wooden table in the kitchen, staring out the window at the pounding surf. The sun had come out as all signs of the tropical storm had vanished.

Brenda caught her breath at the sight of him. He had on some cut-off shorts and a light blue knit shirt, emphasizing the blue of his eyes. A good night’s rest had erased the lines from his face, and he looked calmer and peaceful … and terribly sexy. Brenda had forgotten how much sensuality oozed from every pore of the man’s body, even on a bad day.

"Hi, Jax," she said timidly, hoping she didn’t show how much she wanted him at that moment.

"Brenda!" Jax rose from the table. "Can I get you some coffee?"

She sat down across from him, taking a glass of juice. "No thanks. I’m trying to cut back on the caffeine. You know…" She let it trail, glancing down at her still-flat stomach.

Jax nodded, and went to pour himself another cup of coffee. He sneaked a glance at Brenda as he did, sipping her juice and nibbling on a piece of toast. When exactly did he realize that he loved her? When he saw the blinking message on the computer screen and thought something might have happened to her? When Lois told him she was pregnant and planning to marry Corinthos? Maybe he had realized it on his own while staying at Holden Beach, but couldn’t come out and admit it. All he knew was that during the drive to Port Charles, all he could think of was how much he loved and wanted her, combined with strong pangs of jealousy and anger. Anger at her not wanting him to know about the baby, and jealousy, thinking of her in Corinthos’ bed.

But now, looking at her in the light of day, and with a full nights’ sleep under his belt, he tried to put it all into perspective. He had obviously hurt her so badly with his obsession with Julia and breaking off the relationship that she didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. She was too proud to come to him, even when she needed him. She was too angry and hurt to take him back after his rejection. And now, it was too late for him to admit his feelings to her. Well, even if he could never tell her how he felt, at least he could do the right thing and save her from the hell of being married to Corinthos.

He sat down at the table with her, and could barely control his longing. Her figure was sharply outlined in the T-shirt, and he vividly remembered every curve. It had been over a month since Jerry and Bobbie’s wedding and he had been without her 2 months before that. He literally ached for her.

Brenda broke the ice. "Where do we start?"

Jax took a deep breath. "Brenda, I want to marry you. I understand that you probably have good reasons why you don’t want to agree. But surely you didn’t actually WANT to marry Corinthos, did you?"

"Of course not," she sighed. She was glad he wasn’t yelling at her again this morning. "But he offered me a marriage without …attachments."

Jax looked at her quizzically.

She glanced down at the table. "I told him I didn’t want to sleep with him, and he agreed. It was going to be a marriage in name only. That was the only way I would agree to it."

It took all of Jax’s intestinal fortitude to say it. "I can offer you that, too." Jax looked down. He couldn’t let Brenda see the pain in his eyes as he said it.

Brenda never thought Jax hated her that much. Obviously, he had already thought of how her body would look, swollen and blimpy. Tears started to form, but she held them back. How could she live in the same house with him, share his name, bear his child, and never have him touch her soul again like he did when they made love? She never realized that she had hurt him that badly, almost denying him the knowledge that he had a child. It was the least she could do, allowing him to know the child and be a part of its life. His proposition was practical, since she would never have to worry about the child’s financial stability. Maybe it would even be fortunate enough to enjoy the love and stability that Jax’s extended family offered.

She could barely look at him as she replied. "All right. I’ll marry you on those conditions. I’d hardly be looking out for the child’s best interests if I didn’t."

Jax let out the breath he had been holding. He was relieved, but it still hurt. She didn’t really want him. He had waited too long until he came to realize the depth of his feelings, hurt her too badly, and he had only himself to blame. "Good. I’ll make some inquiries in Myrtle Beach about a license. And I’ll call Jane and have her put an announcement in the Port Charles papers. Although I would love to spend more time here, I’ve been away from the office for so long I imagine Dad and Jerry are ready to strangle me."

"That’s fine," Brenda replied flatly. "Sonny had business to attend to in New York for several weeks, so daddy was expecting me to be in the office now, too."

Brenda helped him clean up the dishes from breakfast, and then she opted to take a walk along the beach. When she returned, Jax was busily typing away on the laptop, returning e-mails from the office, with cell phone plugged into the computer at the kitchen table as he worked.

She wandered into the empty room that she noticed last night, and found numerous pencil sketches on the table. As she turned them to take a closer look, she saw the figure of a woman. It was always the same woman, either walking on a beach, or behind a window pane, or sitting on some driftwood. Apparently sometime since Malibu, V had taken the time to show Jax how to draw the human figure.

Brenda picked up one sketch to look at it more closely. It was a woman’s face, tears rolling down her cheeks, behind a window. As she stared at it, she suddenly gasped and dropped it on the table. The woman, drawn with amazing clarity, was her. They brown eyes were sad and brimming with tears. She was wearing the dress Brenda wore to Jerry and Bobbie’s wedding.

She began to look at the rest of the pictures. They were all drawings of her. Just as she began wondering about the significance, Jax came up behind her.

She tried to keep it light. "V finally showed you how to draw people, huh?"

Jax shook his head. "Nope. I just started trying to draw them, and the only ones that turned out to look like anything even close to a human were the ones of you."

He turned to go back to his laptop. Brenda held the drawing to her breast, not knowing what to make of it. Before she neglected to tell him about their child, he thought of her so much he drew her face constantly. Now, he didn’t want to sleep with her.

*~*~*~*

They were married two days later in Myrtle Beach. Jax had been busy on the laptop and cell phone, faxing and pulling strings to get the license paperwork processed. A messenger had come the day before with a package that he mysteriously hid from her. He asked her about a dress, but Brenda replied that the lace dress in the suitcases would be fine for the simple ceremony.

They were married in The Wedding Chapel in North Myrtle Beach. When Jax suggested it, Brenda was almost afraid that singing Elvis impersonators would jump out of the pews, but it was tasteful and quiet. Brenda wore the lace dress that she had originally bought for her wedding to Sonny, and was secretly glad that there was a change in plans. Jax looked stunningly handsome in a navy blue suit, white shirt, and blue striped tie.

The ceremony was short. After they exchanged vows, Jax slipped a ring on Brenda’s finger that made her gasp. It was platinum, with a 3 carat European-cut diamond in the center. It was flanked by trilliant-cut emeralds, and looked antique. As he gave her the ring, he whispered in her ear, "Grandma sends her love." Brenda looked up at him in astonishment, realizing that this must have come in the mysterious package. Brenda placed a diamond-cut white gold wedding band on his finger, her hands trembling. She had asked Jax to take her into Myrtle Beach the day before, and finally found one at a place called Broadway on the Beach.

After the ceremony was finished, Brenda was nervously awaiting the obligatory kiss. But Jax merely brushed his lips across hers quickly, leaving her confused. Even this slightest touch from him sent desire shooting through her and made her knees weak. She was angry at herself, though, because he appeared to be totally unphased by the kiss. She had secretly been hoping the last few days that he would accidentally touch her, either at the table or while sleeping, and the fires she knew they always lit together would re-ignite. But that hadn’t happened.

After they came out of the chapel, they decided to join the tourists and explore Myrtle Beach. They went shopping in the souvenir stands and shops. Brenda went on a shopping spree for Myrtle Beach Polo Club clothes, and put on a fashion show for Jax. He sat in a chair as she modeled T-shirts, shorts, and hats for him. As he made good-natured suggestions and leered at her suggestively, she almost felt that they had gotten back some of the magic they had earlier in the summer on the trips to Malibu and Boston.

Brenda took him back to Broadway on the Beach because she had seen an oil painting the day before. She had had the shop hold it pending his approval, and when they arrived, she gave it to him as a wedding present. He was speechless at the beautiful oil, a landscape of the beach with gulls and cloud formations. She saw a tear starting to form in the corner of his eye, but he quickly masked it.

"It’s beautiful, Brenda. I know just the place to hang it in the office. That way, I can look at it and remember this day."

His comment puzzled her, almost as though he was happy about the wedding and being tied to her.

Not to be outdone, Jax pulled her with him into a jewelry store. It turned out that while she was shopping for his wedding ring, he had done some shopping of his own. The clerk brought out a bracelet that he had been having them hold for her. It was a delicate creation of pink quartz and diamonds. As he slipped it on her wrist, he looked up and whispered, "For my beautiful, delicate wife." Now tears threatened to spill for her, made worse by her raging pregnant hormones. She pulled him close to place a kiss on his cheek, and didn’t see him close his eyes and inhale sharply. How would he ever be able to last through this d*mned agreement not to make love?

They enjoyed the rest of their afternoon, and then began the drive back to Holden Beach. There was a little town about 10 miles from Holden Beach called Shalotte, and as they came to it, Jax noticed Brenda shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

"Problem?" Suddenly, he got worried. "Are you OK?"

She looked sheepish. "Fine." As she glanced over at him, she realized how worried he actually was. "No, fine, really. I just sometimes get really empty. Before, I never noticed mealtimes, but it seems our child doesn’t intend to be that patient."

Jax smiled. "Well, you both are in luck, because I know a great place here in town to have our wedding dinner."

He took a sharp turn, and soon pulled up in front of a small Italian restaurant called Carmella’s. "This place has always been special to the Jacks family."

Brenda loved the restaurant as soon as she entered. It was a small, homey Italian restaurant. The tables all had white linen tablecloths, with red napkins. It was virtually empty that night, and Brenda guessed it had a lot to do with the recent storm.

A woman came to greet Jax with a hug as soon as he entered. "Jax! So good to see you again! But didn’t the storm scare you off?"

Jax hugged her back. "No, Liz, but it sure looks like it scared everyone else. I take it that’s why you don’t have your usual supper crowd tonight." She nodded. "Weren’t you afraid of damage?"

"Honey, you should know by now it would take more than a little window-rattler to send us packing. We just boarded up the windows to be on the safe side and watched everyone else shake in their boots." She had been looking curiously at Brenda, and Jax finally decided to satisfy her itch.

"Liz, I would like you to meet my wife, Mrs. Brenda Barrett Jacks. Brenda, this is Mrs. Liz Forella. She and her husband Lou own the place."

Half of the introduction was smothered by Liz’s hug for Brenda. "Jax! You didn’t tell us you were married!" She looked back at the bar. "Lou, come here and see what the storm dropped on our door!"

Lou Forella came out from the bar area. "Jax, good to see you again. Back for more of the Veal Marsala?"

Liz clucked at him. "Typical man. Only thinks of his stomach. Lou, this is Jax’s wife, Brenda."

Lou took her hand reverently and kissed the top of it. "Mrs. Jacks, it is my pleasure. Jax is a very lucky man." As he let her hand drop, he glanced at his wife and his eyes twinkled. "Almost as lucky as I am!"

Liz laughed as Lou put his arm around her. "But Jax, I didn’t know you were married! Brenda decided not to come down here with you until after the storm passed?"

Brenda took a quick breath as she wondered how Jax would answer. He put his arm around her waist, and she felt the burning presence of his hand. "Actually, Brenda’s trip down here was a kind of spur-of-the-moment thing. We were married in The Wedding Chapel in Myrtle Beach this morning!"

This drew another round of hugs and kisses from the Forella’s. "Well, then, this calls for a celebration!" Liz showed them to a table in the front of the restaurant. It was between two bay windows beneath a large hanging plant. Adding to the romantic atmosphere, there was a statue of Venus de Milo on a pedestal near the table. "Only our best table for the newlyweds!"

Brenda still couldn’t believe the word "newlyweds" and hearing herself addressed as "Mrs. Jacks." Jax pulled her chair out for her, and again his hand burned her back as he pushed it into the table. After Liz left menus for them, she glanced up at Jax.

"Jax, we really didn’t need to do this…" she began.

He stopped her. "Brenda, the Forella’s are good people. They have been friends to our family ever since Mum and Dad first bought the cabin down here. I couldn’t think of anyone I would rather celebrate our wedding with than them."

She still looked flustered. "But Jax, I mean the whole thing! We don’t have to make this such a big deal!" She looked at her hand, the wedding ring sparkling in the romantic lighting. "Even the ring. This is beautiful, Jax. It looks antique. I’m almost afraid to ask where it came from."

He took her hand. "This was my grandmother’s wedding ring. Grandpa Jasper gave it to Josie years ago, and she wanted you to have it." At her startled gasp, he could see the protests coming. "And it wasn’t my idea, either. Remember I told you I sent messages about the cancelled wedding to Lois and Harlan? Well, I sent one to Grandma, too, and she sent me the ring by messenger. She said she’ll speak to you about it when we get back."

Brenda knew Josie’s determination, and gave up the fight for the moment. "Well, as much as I disagree with your tactics of abducting me, I’m secretly relieved that you sent a message to daddy. I didn’t look forward to the prospect of telling him."

"Good. Now, let’s get down to serious business." Jax opened the menu and then looked up at Brenda. "They serve a fantastic appetizer here made from hot peppers and tomatoes. How does that sound?" Brenda’s face turned a little ashen in response. "Hmm. I thought so. That’s why I asked. Will the smell cause a problem for you if I have some?"

"I don’t think so," she replied. "You have to remember, I’m still new at this kind of thing myself."

He nodded as Liz came over to take their order. After selecting an appetizer for himself and just a salad and bread for Brenda, he sat back in the chair and gazed at her intently.

"So…" he looked a little unsure of how to bring up the subject. "Did you see a doctor about … our little one?"

Brenda took a sip of water. "Yes, I saw Dr. Meadows at GH to make sure I was pregnant. I didn’t want to do one of those home tests and take a chance of getting it wrong."

He tried to contain his excitement, but Brenda saw through him. "Did you get one of those X-ray pictures of the baby?"

She laughed at his enthusiasm. "An ultra-sound? No, Jax, it’s still too early for that. In fact, I have to go back to see her soon so she can set me up with vitamins and the whole regimen. I just basically went to see her so I could confirm the fact that I was pregnant."

He stared down at his hands, and then looked up at her shyly. "Can I come along when you see her again?"

She was amazed at his attitude. "Now, Jax, don’t tell me you’re going to be one of those smothering fathers-to-be!" At his look of panic, she relaxed and smiled. "Of course, you can come along if you want. But I warn you, you’ll be surrounded by hormonal, pregnant women. They might all either try to stone you or accost you!"

"Hmm… a roomful of hormonal women. Doesn’t sound too bad to me!" His face took on a serious look. "Seriously, Brenda, I want to be a part of this baby’s life, right from the start. I want to be there to hear what you need and help you have it."

Liz brought their appetizers at that point, interrupting his train of thought. As they ate, he continued. "And I think we should pack up and move back to Port Charles first thing tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? Some business crisis calling you?"

"No, but you know how out-of-touch the cabin is here. What if you had some kind of problem? You know, they say that most miscarriages occur during the first trimester of the pregnancy."

She almost choked on her salad. "Well, thank you, Dr. Jasper Jacks! How did you know that?"

He blushed. "Well, after things settled down a little yesterday, I surfed the Net and found some very interesting facts about pregnancy. I’ve just been doing a little reading and research, that’s all." He took a bite, then continued. "Oh, and I don’t think we should consider living at your cottage, not with you in this condition. If there was a problem, it’s so far from the hospital and my office that I would worry constantly."

"Jax, I feel fine. Nothing’s going to happen." At her protest, he waved a forkful of peppers and tomatoes under her nose, and watched her recoil. "OK, I admit I’ve been kind of queasy these days, but that’s normal!" She secretly watched him while they continued eating, and happily filed his concern for her and the baby in her heart.

Liz brought them delicious scoops of sherbet to "cleanse the palate" before she brought out their entrees, and Brenda devoured hers. Jax watched her with amusement, and she finally caught his stare. "What?" She realized his joke. "Well, it’s a dairy product, so humor me!"

"Would you like me to ask Liz to just bring you the half gallon of that instead of your seafood?"

They continued the rest of their dinner in comfortable conversation about possible places to live back in Port Charles. Jax settled on the veal marsala, which he informed Brenda was his favorite, while Brenda enjoyed seafood alfredo in Northern Pink Sauce. She thought she had eaten so much she couldn’t move when Jax suddenly covered her hand with his.

"Mrs. Jacks, would you do me the honor of this dance?"

Brenda had noticed soft music playing during their dinner, but there was really no formal dance floor. "Jax, this is a lovely restaurant, but there’s no dancing in here! There’s no dance floor."

He pulled her to her feet. "Mrs. Jacks, anywhere that you and I are and there’s music, there’s a dance floor." He pulled her into his arms, and she died a little.

Jax looked deeply into Brenda’s eyes, and for just a moment, all the harsh words and doubts of the past few days melted into nothingness. He took her hand and placed it on the back of his neck, so that her arms were both twined around him and he could place both of his hands on the small of her back, holding her closer.

She came rushing over, and Brenda thankfully backed away from Jax’s embrace. "You two are so cute together! I just know you were meant to be!"

Lou came bustling out again to put his arm around his wife. "Liz, don’t you think we ought to let these two lovebirds go? After all, it is their wedding night!"

Brenda hid her face. If they only knew. The wedding night was long gone, and they had gone on the harsh realities of married life and children.

Jax, for his part, was acting the bridegroom to the hilt. He ogled Brenda, and then teased Liz. "Well, if you will just give me the check, I think we might want to go back to the cabin to … rest for a while!"

Liz shook her head vehemently. "Not on your life, buster. It’s your wedding supper, and it’s on the house."

After a few more protests and then tearful good-byes, Jax and Brenda were back on the road to the cabin, Lou and Liz waving from the doorway of the restaurant. Brenda rode in silence in the Jag, occasionally daring a look at Jax’s profile. She was so confused. His actions today seemed to show that he really wanted this marriage, and more than that, that he really wanted her.

Jax, driving in silence, was equally confused. Brenda had seemed so soft and willing in his arms just minutes ago. Maybe she really didn’t hate him that much.

The two newlyweds continued in silence, neither one sure what the wedding night would bring.

Song credit: "Lady," by Lionel Ritchie, Jr., performed by Kenny Rogers