"May I come in?" he asked, pushing his way through the door without really waiting for an answer.

Brenda’s heart was in her mouth. Had he come back for good? She wanted to throw herself at him, weep in his arms, kiss him until he was insane with desire for her. As she closed the door against the wind-driven rain, he opened his mouth and burst her bubble.

"You look like hell! Have you been starving yourself?"

She certainly didn’t expect this reaction from him. She knew she hadn’t slept much, and had lost some weight, but were these the words from a man who was coming back to declare his love for her? Then she took a good look at him, and her hormones lit her blood to boiling.

"You don’t look so hot yourself, buster!" He had a day’s growth of blonde stubble on his chin, and there were deep lines etched by his mouth. His hair was soaking wet, and dark circles lined his eyes.

Jax took a deep breath. "I look this way because I got 4 hours of sleep last night, got up at 4 this morning, and drove all day through a tropical storm of monumental proportions!"

"Why?" Brenda asked quietly, understanding dawning. He knew. He knew about everything.

"Why?" he spit back at her. "Oh, maybe just because I found out that you were pregnant and you had come up with some insane scheme to marry Sonny Corinthos!"

"How did you find out?"

Jax took off the rain slicker and walked wearily over to a chair. "I found out, my dear, because Lois and my grandmother care enough about me to want me to know that I have a child. Obviously you don’t." He saw the emotions flitting across her face, and knew his weariness was making him handle this all wrong. His tone softened and his eyes registered the hurt. "Why didn’t you want to tell me, Brenda?" Her heart went out to him, looking so much like the lost little boy.

Then he put his foot in it again. "How could you just take my child away from me and give it to a crime lord?"

Her hormones raged. "YOUR child! YOUR child! What about me? Who do you think is going to carry this child for 9 months? It’s my child too, you know!"

"But why, Brenda? Why would you do this to me?"

"I did it FOR you!"

"Well, thank you SO very much," he said sarcastically, his voice raising a pitch. "Obviously, oh great and wise one, you know better than I do what I want or need."

Her lip began to tremble at his barb. "Don’t you dare speak to me like that. I just couldn’t have the baby alone. I didn’t know how I would have managed."

"Brenda," he said softly again. "No one asked you to handle it alone."

Now, lack of sleep caught her in its web. "Oh, no, here comes the noble Jasper Jacks again. This time he’ll sacrifice everything he ever wanted in life, just so he can marry the poor loser who couldn’t keep her calendar straight, who couldn’t keep her clothes on…"

"Brenda, stop it!!" He was tired, and rapidly losing patience. "This isn’t getting us anywhere and we just keep saying things that only make things worse and hurt each other." He looked at her with the same determined face she saw when he was about to pounce on an unsuspecting company he would acquire. "I’m back now, and you’ll marry me, not Corinthos."

"Oh, no I won’t!" she blurted. This was even worse than she imagined. All she saw right now was his hurt and anger. He was glaring at her like a thing, not a person. He was ordering her to marry him, not asking. She could never live with his hatred and rage. It was her controlling father all over again.

"Excuse me?" he said quietly, yet almost scaring her.

"I said I won’t marry you, not if you were the last man on earth! I would rather marry Sonny Corinthos! Look at you – cold, passionless, calculating …."

Jax had heard enough. He had almost driven himself to a watery grave just to get back to this woman. He loved her with all his heart. He had lost a love once, but he wouldn’t lose again.

His loud expletive made Brenda jump. She saw a fire in his eyes she had never seen before. "I lost Julia, but I’ll walk through fire before I lose you, too!"

Brenda’s hand clapped over her mouth, and she thought she might finally lose the fight she had been waging the last few hours with nausea. Jax was angry and determined to marry her – because it would make up for his losing Julia. She would be a substitute for the sister he could never have. She burst into tears, and ran up the staircase for the bathroom. He heard her as she slammed the bathroom door and locked it, giving in to the sobs that had been building all evening.

{Well, Jax, you silver-tongued devil, you handled that well. Came here to make sure the woman you love, the mother of your child, would marry you, and instead you put your foot in your mouth and make her so angry she locks herself in the bathroom. Why would she want a mobster like Corinthos when she could have a smooth operator like you?}

Jax shook his head and put his finger to his lips in thought. He saw her suitcase next to the front door, and then slowly climbed the steps to the bathroom and her bedroom. He saw the locked door and still heard the crying. Then he peeked into her bedroom and saw the mostly-packed suitcase. A plan began to form, and he started to have hope again.

He saw the lace dress laying half-folded on the bed, and suspected it was her wedding dress. Grabbing that and a few things from the dresser, he threw them in and closed the suitcase and locked it. He hauled it back downstairs and set it next to the first one at the door. Then he went back to her phone, praying it wasn’t out of order from the storm.

He dialed a number quickly. "V? This is Jax. Yes, I’m back in Port Charles. Yes, I got the e-mail." He listened to her babble for 10 seconds before he blew. "V!! Be quiet and listen." Then he remembered his track record so far this evening and softened his tone. "Thank you, Venus. I need you to get a messenger to deliver this message around 1 o’clock tomorrow afternoon to Mr. Sonny Corinthos. Ready? The message should read, "Sorry. Wedding cancelled. Marrying Jax instead. Have a good life. Brenda."" He paused while she wrote it down. "Got that? Good. OK, and I want you to send a copy of the note by messenger to Mrs. Lois Ashton and Mr. Harlan Barrett." He smiled. "Oh, and one more copy – to Mrs. Josephine Jacks." After thanking V and answering just a few of her thousand questions, he hung up the phone, proud of his plan so far.

Then he put his rain slicker back on and carried Brenda’s two suitcases out to the Jag. The storm had let up some, but it still was fierce enough to almost blow the front door off the hinges. He shook off most of the rain after he came back in, and headed for Brenda’s coat closet.

He found a suitable raincoat in it, and then grabbed her purse off the table. He made his way upstairs again, and camped outside the bathroom door. He could still hear her inside, but the sobbing had been reduced to quiet sniffling. He felt like the lowest low-life on the planet. She had been through a very rough time in her life all alone, bearing the responsibility for the pregnancy by herself, and he had only made things worse.

He knocked gently. "Brenda, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so tough on you." {She probably hates you, Jax. If it weren’t for you and your hormones, she wouldn’t be in this predicament.} "Come on, Brenda. I promise I won’t yell at you anymore. You can’t stay in there all night, and I’m not going anywhere."

He heard faint noises from inside, and then the lock clicked as she opened the door. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying, but he still could have crushed her to him and kissed her to oblivion. How could he not have realized he loved her before?

He held out her raincoat and purse to her. "Come on, will you at least come for a ride with me to talk about it?"

She looked at him suspiciously, but she was just too tired to argue anymore. "All right, but I’m not going to change my mind."

She walked silently beside him to the door, and he opened her umbrella for her as she locked the door behind them. She was so wrapped up in her own misery, she didn’t even notice the missing luggage or that he had turned out every light in the cottage as they left.

She took a sharp breath when she saw the Jag. The wheels were caked in mud, and the wax job was ruined with small leaves and twigs sticking to the surface of the car.

"Where have you been?" she finally asked, once they were both safe and dry inside the car.

"North Carolina. I went there to think about a lot of things."

How had Lois and Josie ever found him? And why did they bother? Now he only was angry at her and ordering her around.

He carefully made his way down the gravel road leading back to the highway, and found Brenda’s favorite jazz station on the radio. The rhythmic flip-flop of the windshield wipers, the low rumble of the rain, and the soothing music soon took their toll on Brenda, and she slumped to the side in the car and her eyes closed. She was soon deep in sleep.

Jax smiled briefly as he gazed at her. As lightning lit up the night sky, he drew some comfort. At least the only fireworks he would have to deal with tonight would be outside.

The pressure of the past 36 hours was beginning to take its toll on Jax. He chanced a glance over at Brenda, and she was still in a deep sleep. She was probably dead tired after all she had been through during the past week.

He wasn’t in much better shape himself, though. Although the storms had slowed to just a steady rain, the rhythm of the windshield wipers was beginning to affect him, too. He had only slept a few hours Wednesday night before getting an early start on his way back to Port Charles. He really didn’t have too many choices. He could wake Brenda, and take his chances with her pitching a fit when she found out his plan. Or, he could keep on driving, trying to get all the way back to Holden Beach, and end up sending them both into a ditch if he fell asleep at the wheel.

As he followed I-95 down the coast, he was near Richmond, Virginia when another plan began to take shape in his mind. He pulled the car into the Steven Kent Motor Lodge, and left the motor running as he ran in to register. He hoped the hum of the motor would keep Brenda tranquilized.

Room key in hand, he pulled around to the back and jumped out again to unlock the room door. When all was ready inside, he finally shut off the engine and lifted Brenda gently out of the car. She stirred once, opened her eyes, and then smiled and laid her head back on his shoulder. Thanking his lucky stars, Jax carried her inside the room and slipped her between the covers after easing her shoes and coat off.

He returned to the car to lock it, and then came back to the room. Only stopping to remove his own slicker and shoes, he climbed into the bed next to her, and immediately fell fast asleep.

Brenda slowly fought her way through the fog back into reality. She raised her head up a little bit off the pillow, and opened her eyes slowly. She was in some kind of a motel room, and as she turned her head, she saw Jax sleeping in the bed beside her.

She swung her feet over the side of the bed, and suddenly had to make a run for the bathroom. The baby was making some changes in her daily habits, and one of them was affecting her kidneys. She splashed some water on her face, hoping that it would clear her mind.

As she came out of the bathroom, towel in hand, memories of the previous night came flooding back. She remembered getting in the car with Jax, and falling asleep as he drove. He looked exhausted, she remembered. Obviously, he felt they should both get some sleep before they discussed their impasse. As she walked back to the bed, she noticed her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was knotted and in total disarray, and her clothes were rumpled. As she stood there, trying to pull a comb through her hair and make herself look presentable, she noticed the time on her wristwatch. Suddenly, she slammed the comb down and came over and shook Jax within an ounce of his life.

"Jax! Wake up! What have you done? Where are we?"

Jax sleepily opened one eye and smiled at Brenda. "Calm down, love. Stress isn’t good for expectant mothers, you know. Everything’s under control."

"What do you mean, under control? Where are we?"

He scratched his head and yawned. "Somewhere outside of Richmond, Virginia, I think." He fumbled for the pen and paper on the night stand next to the bed. "Our host today is the Steven Kent Motor Lodge."

"Jasper Jacks, I could kill you! I’m getting married today!"

He swung his legs out of the bed and smiled at her. "I appreciate your impatience, love, but I’m afraid we’ll have to wait a few more days. License and blood tests, you know."

She swatted his arm none too gently. "You idiot! I’m supposed to be marrying Sonny at 3:30 today! He’ll be waiting at City Hall!" She thought for a moment, becoming more agitated. "Oh my God! He’ll think there’s been foul play! He’ll report me to the police as a missing person!"

Jax shook his head. "Sorry, but you won’t be able to make it. We’re much too far from Port Charles for you to make it on time to the wedding anymore." She stared at him with an open mouth, and he continued. "Oh, and I took care of Sonny’s concerns. I sent a note by messenger to Sonny advising him the wedding was cancelled. Sent a copy to Lois and your father, too."

She hissed at him. "You had no right to do that."

He glared back at her. "I have every right. I’m the baby’s father." She sat down in a chair, losing steam rapidly. "Brenda, I’m sorry if I seemed a little high-handed about this, but I had to do something. You were making decisions that were very wrong. You did things YOU had no right to do, trying to hide my child’s existence from me, giving it to another man to raise. You were subjecting it to a lifetime with a cold, cruel criminal as a father."

As Jax’s words sank in, Brenda’s mind recoiled in pain. She had been trying to do the right thing, sparing Jax from a lifetime of being married to someone out of duty. Now, she saw with horror that Jax must despise her, and think her cruel and unfeeling. As she tried to examine her own motives, she thought back to their break-up. He said he was doing it for her own good, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. She thought she was doing this for HIS own good. Had she really hurt him as much as he hurt her? She realized that he must hate her for this.

Jax was putting on his shoes and running a comb through his hair. "Come on. All I want to do right now is get back to Holden Beach, change my clothes, and shave and get cleaned up. We can discuss it more then."

{HORMONE ALERT!! WARNING! WARNING!!} She plopped back down in the chair. "I won’t go. What are you going to do, haul me kicking and screaming out of this motel?"

His eyes gleamed dangerously at her. "Try me."

She gave him a defiant look and sauntered back into the bathroom, shutting the door. She leaned against it, trying to think of any possible options. She could try calling Harlan or Sonny and they might come and rescue her, but she hated to think of the confrontation they would have with Jax. She could refuse to leave with Jax, but she had no doubt at this point that he WOULD carry her physically out of the room. As she saw the futility of her situation, her shoulders drooped and she opened the door and picked up her purse. He nodded toward the door, and she preceded him. He chuckled behind her. "Come on," he said in a low voice. "Things will look a lot clearer after I treat the two of you to brunch."

When they were finally back on the highway, Brenda noticed her suitcases in the back of the Jag. "You had this planned all along, didn’t you?"

Jax was feeling a little more human, now that his stomach wasn’t running on empty anymore. "Not really. I really didn’t have anything specific planned, except getting back to Port Charles before Friday in one piece. And believe me, there were times during that storm that I had my doubts."

Brenda looked at him. He was unbelievably stubborn in his desire to marry her. How could she keep refusing? Yet, how could she stand the pain if she did marry him? She couldn’t believe the mess this all was turning into.

He continued. "I just figured I would come back and after we talked it over, you would give me some kind of good excuse why you decided to shut me out of my child’s life, and then you would agree to marry me." He looked at her with pain in his eyes. "Brenda, I still can’t understand why you would prefer Corinthos to me – especially after all you’ve told me about him. Do you hate me that much?"

Brenda tried to keep herself focused on his high-handedness, but her own actions kept creeping in to cause her feelings of guilt. Her stomach was in such contortions, she barely noticed the beautiful landscape along the coast.

As the sun was beginning to set and they drew near to the barrier islands, Brenda began to lean back and let the ocean air invigorate her. They crossed the causeway to get to Holden Beach, and soon pulled up at Jax’s cabin.

He opened the door, bringing in her suitcases. The cabin was light and airy, much like the Malibu house but on a smaller scale. There was a living room, a large kitchen, a room with a lot of windows that only had a large drafting table in it, one bedroom and a bath.

Jax closed the door and stood before her. "I don’t know about you, but I’m still wiped out. I don’t think we can intelligently discuss anything more tonight. Why don’t we get cleaned up, get a good night’s sleep, and then we can talk about it again in the morning.

Brenda suddenly caught her breath. One bedroom. Part of her didn’t look forward to sleeping in the same bed with Jax again, but part of her longed for him to just wrap his arms around her and make all their problems go away. She didn’t look forward to the discussion tomorrow morning, either.

Brenda heard the shower running, and the bed did look inviting. She did still feel grubby and tired. She slowly sat down on it, and then went to open her suitcase and find something suitable to sleep in. Besides Jax’s arms.

To be continued…