"Good morning," she said cheerfully. "Want some juice?" Her face shone in the morning sun, and her eyes sparkled where his grew dull.

He felt like his world was about to collapse. {Might as well get it over with.}

He sat in a chair opposite her. "No. I need to talk to you about something."

She still didn’t suspect, and leaned forward to grab his hand. "OK." She put down her glass of juice. "What is it, another trip?"

{I wish it was that simple.} "No. I don’t know how to ask this without sounding vain, but how do you feel about me?"

Brenda sat up straight in her chair. "What do you mean?" She sensed that something bad was about to happen.

"Jerry says that you love me. Do you?"

Brenda stood up and nervously paced over to the windows. She turned back to face him. "Is this about my jealous fit last night, because if it is, I told you I was…"

He stopped her rambling. "Brenda, it’s not that. Please be honest with me. Do you love me?"

She looked at him with eyes that began to water. She felt like she was in a mine field, and didn’t know where to step to avoid an explosion. She answered in a small voice. "Yes.

Jax ran his hand through his hair and finally looked her in the eye.

"I’m sorry."

"Why?"

He came over to stroke her cheek, but she pulled away. "For what I’ve already done to you, and for what I have to do."

The tears began to run down her cheeks in earnest. "You’re ending it, aren’t you?" Jax didn’t answer, but just looked down at the floor.

Brenda tried to act like the words didn’t phase her, but bitterness spilled out with the tears. "Well, I guess I should consider myself pretty special. I lasted longer than most of them, right? Is it somebody else, or did you just get tired of me?"

Jax lashed out. "Tired of you? Brenda, don’t say that! I could never get tired of you. I’m not breaking this off because I want to."

Brenda laughed sarcastically. "Somebody else is making you?" She felt like a wounded animal, but she still had her pride. She wouldn’t beg.

Jax stared down at the floor, and then in her doe-eyes. He reached out his hand to her. "Brenda, I like being with you more than I have any other woman. If it were up to me, I would go on with things just the way they are. But it’s not fair to you."

She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. "Oh, I see. This is for my own good. You’re dumping me because it’s in my best interest. How kind of you. You’re really the best, Jax."

Jax cursed. "I just can’t stay with you, Brenda. If I do, I’ll only hurt you more. I can’t offer you anything more than what we have now."

"Have I asked for more?"

"No, but some day you will. I don’t want this, Brenda, but Jerry made me see that I’m only being selfish, taking all you want to give and not giving you anywhere near that in return. Maybe if I let you go, you’ll find somebody who will love you the way you deserve to be loved."

Brenda suddenly realized the depths of her feelings for Jax, and how deep the chasm was that she was falling into. How would she survive without him? But she couldn’t let him see that. As he spoke, her blood began to boil.

"Oh, no," she muttered. "Don’t give me that "Far, far better thing I do" speech. Maybe you can fool yourself into feeling that you were the noble one, the one who sacrificed everything so that Brenda could be happy someday. But deep down I know that you’re only doing this because you want to."

She was still standing by the table, and he sighed and went to pick up his shoes and car keys. "I’m sorry you see it that way, Brenda. Maybe someday you’ll understand that I did this for you." He went to stand by the door.

She couldn’t stand to watch him walk out the door for the last time, so she turned away.

"Good-bye," he said softly. He went through the door, latching it quietly behind him.

"Good-bye." She heard his car start, and the gravel grinding as he slowly drove down the driveway. Only then did she allow the enormity of the morning to sink in, and she collapsed to her knees, sobbing.

*~*~*~*

Keith wasn’t sure exactly what was wrong, but he knew it was something big. It wasn’t like Brenda was in a bad mood. He had seen Hurricane Barrett in the past, and that he could deal with.

This had him worried. Brenda was just empty. There was no spark, nothing in her eyes. No happiness, but no anger either. She spent hours at the office, barely stopping to eat, rarely leaving before him at night. Her eyes looked vacant. It would have been easier if she had exploded at him, ranted at him, something.

She was always polite to him, answering that she was OK, and there was nothing wrong. But he could tell that there was, and whatever it was, it was BIG.

About a week after Keith noticed the change, he was surprised to find a white-haired dynamo standing in front of his desk, demanding to see Ms. Barrett. When he asked if she had an appointment, some words he normally didn’t associate with women her age came out, and he realized that she meant business.

He knocked gently on Brenda’s door. She was sitting, staring out the windows, a pose he often found her in these days. Not only did she feel alone after Jax leaving her, but with Lois out of town with Ned, she was at a loss for any kind of companionship.

"Brenda … uh, there’s somebody here to see you," he began tentatively.

She sighed. "Oh, Keith, I really don’t think now’s the best time…"

Suddenly Brenda heard the dynamo’s voice loud and clear. "Now I know that Queen Liz over in England believes in all that pomp and announcing stuff, but I keep telling her it’s all a waste of time. Stand aside, honey buns, she’ll see me."

Brenda smiled to herself. "It’s OK, Keith." Keith gave her a look that seemed to say "Are you sure?", but Brenda nodded and waved Grandma Josie inside.

The little woman marched through the doors, glancing at Keith as she came, and marched over to Brenda with arms outstretched. "How are you, my dear?" Brenda found herself hugging Josie back, and then holding on for dear life as tears threatened to form again. Keith could see that maybe this was what Brenda needed after all, and closed the door quietly.

Josie pulled out of the hug, and looked Brenda up and down. She pulled her over to the couch in the corner of her office and they both sat down, still holding hands.

"I came here to see for myself how you were," she said gently.

Brenda smiled up at her, tears still clouding her vision. "I’m doing OK," she said weakly, wiping her eyes self-consciously. Josie continued to hold one hand. "Do you want some ice tea or a soft drink?" Brenda offered.

Josie snorted. "Brenda, if I was away from the house and I wanted something to drink, I’d go talk to the clown at the drive-through-window. I told you – I wanted to see YOU."

This tiny woman never ceased to amaze her. Brenda stared down at her hands in her lap. "How did you know?"

Josie sat back. "Well, we were planning the thank-you dinner the other night for everyone that helped to make the charity carnival such a success. Jasper’s been moping around the house the last few days, and all I asked him was if you would be coming with him."

"Oops," Brenda muttered.

"Brenda," Josie stated, "I love that boy more than life itself, but sometimes it confounds me that he can be as thick as a brick! He muttered something when I asked him if you were coming, and when I followed him out of the room, he told me what happened."

"That we broke up," she said softly.

"No," Josie said emphatically, "that the idiot GAVE you up. Oh, he gave me that cock-and-bull story about it being for your own good and how he’ll never be able to love you because of Julia." She said the woman’s name with contempt. "Nothing against your sister, my dear, but I think Jax is more in love with the IDEA of being in love with your sister. I told him that, too."

"You did?" Brenda asked with astonishment.

"Absolutely," Josie nodded. "I also told him that he wouldn’t know what love was if it bit him on the butt, and that he had just given up the best thing he ever had." Josie let it sink in.

Brenda was almost afraid to ask. "And he said…"

Josie was really disgusted now. "He told me, in no uncertain terms to BUTT OUT! Can you imagine, his own dear, fragile grandmother and he uses those exact words!"

Brenda started to giggle. Somehow Josie and fragile didn’t belong in the same sentence. "I take it you didn’t respond well to his feelings?"

"My dear, if you look outside, you’ll notice that I didn’t bring my Bentley today. That’s because by tonight, it will have the most beautiful wax job on it this side of heaven thanks to my idiot grandson. And I was almost tempted to throw mud on it and then have Jerry wax it since he was the one who put the dang fool notion in Jasper’s head in the first place!"

Brenda continued to smile at her champion, realizing it was the first time she had smiled in days. Josie suspected as much.

"Which brings me to the real reason I’m here this afternoon, besides seeing for myself that you’re OK. How would you like to go to Florida with me?"

Brenda couldn’t believe her ears. "Excuse me?"

"Our family owns a penthouse condo in Naples, Florida and some other "rich-old-lady" friends and I get together there every year. We play cards and talk about how our children and grandchildren drive us crazy. I guess I’ll have a lot to talk about this year, won’t I?" she chuckled.

"Anyway, getting back to the point, for some reason John doesn’t think I should go down there by myself. Thinks some young gigolo might try to sweep my off my feet, I guess. So, rather than ask Jane or either of my two blatterhead grandsons, I thought you might want to consider being my traveling companion."

As Brenda looked skeptical, Josie put her hand up and indicated she should hear her out. "I think it would be great timing for you. You can just lay on the beach, or sit by the pool, or get a massage. No social obligations. No partying, if you don’t feel like it. Just pamper yourself and get away from the gossip here."

Brenda had to admit it was tempting. "Besides," Josie continued, "I have a feeling it would be a royal pain in Jasper’s backside to think that you were off somewhere with his grandmother, doing Lord knows what."

"I have to admit, that would be a definite plus," Brenda smiled.

"Absu-dam-tively," Josie nodded. "If you ever want to keep a man in line, you can’t have him thinking you’re at home, pining away for him.

Brenda sighed as she leaned over and gave Josie a big hug. "Oh, Josie, what would I do without you?"

The old lady smiled impishly. "Is that a yes?"

"Yes."

Josie looked elated and whipped out her cell phone. "Hello, Pearl? Gas up the jet."

*~*~*~*

The Jacks family condominium in Naples, Florida was a sight to behold. Set on the white sand beach in a high-rise building, it was on a floor near the top and occupied almost the entire floor. It had a commanding view of the Gulf of Mexico and luxurious accommodations for Brenda and Josie.

Josie spent most of her time playing gin and commiserating with her "rich-old-lady" friends. Brenda found them to be quite nice, and they frequently invited her to sit in for a hand. They were charming and comical, and Brenda soon came to love all of them as if they were her own family.

Brenda spent a lot of time down on the beach, soaking up the sun and swimming in the Gulf. But it often reminded her of times in Malibu spent with Jax, and many times she came back to the condo in tears. There was a health spa and pool on the top floor of the building, and so she went there for frequent massages and just relaxing in the whirlpool. She even convinced Josie to come to the spa with her a few times, and enjoyed her stories of the Jacks family history while they were being pampered.

At mealtimes, rather than cook, they went to a restaurant facility in the building. One night when they first arrived, a handsome man about Brenda’s age appeared to be approaching their table. Brenda really wasn’t interested in meeting new people, but curiously, as soon as he saw Josie, he made a beeline in the opposite direction.

"Josie, I think you scared him off! What did you do!" Brenda giggled.

"I didn’t do anything, dear! Am I really that intimidating?" Josie asked in shock.

Brenda thought it was hilarious, though, and so for the rest of their stay, she insisted Josie keep up the charade as the guardian of Brenda’s virtue. Finally, Josie began to find it humorous too, and tried to come up with new expressions to frighten off potential suitors.

The night before they were to head back to Port Charles, Brenda suddenly whispered, "Josie, look out! Possible hit-man at one o’clock!"

Josie put down her fork and looked up at the really harmless, rather handsome young man approaching their table. She shot him a glare, and he froze in place, and then backed away. "Happy now?" she murmured to Brenda, who was nearly falling off her chair laughing.

Josie became serious and took Brenda’s hand. "You know, my dear, we go back to Port Charles tomorrow, and I won’t be around all the time to frighten off the young men who’ll be beating a path to your door."

"Well," Brenda said quietly, "then I guess I’ll just have to move because I don’t plan to date."

Josie sat back in her chair. "Oh, and what are you planning to do with your life now? Become a nun? Do you think living your life like a recluse will punish Jasper for leaving you? Do you think if he feels sorry for you it will bring him back to you?"

"Who says I want him back?" Brenda asked in a small voice.

Josie patted her hand on the table. "Brenda, don’t kid a kidder. You love him. It’s as plain as the nose on your face. And I think he loves you, too."

"Josie, he doesn’t love me. He as much as told me that when he broke it off. He’ll always love Julia. And even if he did come back to me and give us a chance, I don’t know if I could stand the possibility that he might still think he loves Julia and might try to "do what’s best for me" again."

Josie shook her head. "He doesn’t love Julia. Why, he and Julia are two totally opposite people. If he and Julia ever actually tried to have a relationship, I guarantee they would drive each other nuts in two weeks’ time."

"Jane told me about Julia," she continued. Said she’s cool, sophisticated, organized. Everything Jasper isn’t. She would organize him to death. He likes a woman who can be spontaneous, fun, flit from thing to thing, just like him."

Brenda nodded. "I agree with you. She and Jax are totally opposite types. But don’t they say "opposites attract"?"

Josie narrowed her eyes. "You mean like you and Mr. Corinthos?"

Brenda shuddered. "Point taken. But Jax still insists he loves Julia."

"So, if they aren’t the same personality types, what is this love based on?" Josie began analytically. "What is it he LOVES about her? Her looks? From what I could see at your father’s birthday party, you’re twice the beauty she is. Her mind? You can match Jasper’s business smarts any day. So what does he love about her?"

"Sometimes it’s nothing tangible," Brenda argued. "It’s just a spark, a chemistry that exists between people."

"Honey, I know about CHEMISTRY," Josie chuckled. "I have a feeling that Jasper wouldn’t have spent so much time with you if you two weren’t generating a lot of chemistry together."

Brenda blushed at her understanding of their relationship. "Did I shock you, my dear? You must remember, I am a woman of the ‘90’s, and I don’t mean the 1890’s!" She got a far-away look on her face, and then smiled and leaned in close to Brenda. "Jasper’s named for my dearly departed, you know, and I can tell you, he had chemistry with a capital C. And with that kind of chemistry, a girl doesn’t stay innocent for long, let me tell you!"

"OK, so let’s say that Jax and I do belong together. He doesn’t think he loves me," Brenda said sadly.

"Which is exactly why you have to go out with other young men and make him realize it," Josie said succinctly. "Maybe he’s afraid to admit it, or maybe he doesn’t realize it, or maybe he feels in some screwed up way he’s being unfaithful to Julia. Whatever the reason, if he sees you doing well and appearing that you’re over him, it’ll be like waving a red flag in front of a bull. Be poised, aloof, but seductive. Between his jealousy and desire and his love of a challenge, he’ll be back and come to his senses in no time."

Brenda and Josie were walking back to the condo by this time, and she started remembering a similar conversation with Lois, and Jax stating himself that he was a "sucker for a challenge."

"Besides," Josie continued as they came in the door, "you should do it for your own pride. Do you want all of Port Charles to say, "Look at poor Brenda. Jax dumped her and now she sits home and knits and will never be the same."?"

Brenda threw up her hands. "OK, OK, you’ve convinced me. I hope I know what I’m doing. I’m not good at these kind of games, you know."

"I have faith in you, my dear. Just let him see you a few times to remind him of what he’s missing. And if you ever need advice, call me, night or day."

Brenda hugged Josie again. "OK, I promise I will try not to be a wallflower when we get back."

To be continued….