Warning: Rated PG for language

Brenda felt the warmth of the sun on her body before she opened her eyes. She rolled to her left, expecting to feel Jax’s body against hers as she had for most of the night. As she lay flat on her back, her left arm outstretched, her smile turned to a frown as her hand felt the sheet – and nothing else. She turned her hand over, palm down, and moved it around his side of the bed, but still there was no Jax.

As panic filled her, she opened her eyes wide and looked at his side of the bed – empty, as she feared. She sat up straight, and then saw the closed bathroom door. She jumped out of bed and ran to it, knocking loudly.

"Jax, are you in there? Are you OK?"

The door opened slowly, and Jax’s frame filled the doorway. He was shirtless, but still had on the denim cut-offs he had slept in and was shoeless. And he wasn’t smiling. "I’m fine. Can’t a man go to the bathroom around here without announcing it to the world?" He moved slowly out of the doorway and she immediately went to his right side to help him.

"I guess it never occurred to you to wake me and tell me you wanted to get up," she said acidly. She helped him back to the bed, but he didn’t seem as winded as she did the previous day after one of these trips.

"Hellcat, I’ve been going to the bathroom on my own for a lot of years now," he returned. "Besides," he continued, working his way back into a sitting position in the bed, "I need to start getting up and around if I’m ever going to be back on my feet. That little trick of yours with the watch and jacket is only going to buy me so much time. I want to be out of here and on the way to Montauk long before those lab results come back."

Her heart sank at the thought of him leaving. "Well," she said, changing the subject, "you do seem a little stronger today. What would you like for breakfast?"

He stretched. "I don’t know. I’ll come downstairs and see what you’ve got."

She placed her hand against his chest as he tried to get up again. "Oh, no you don’t, buster. We’re going to stick to you staying up here for at least another day." She suddenly became aware of his eyes taking in every detail of her body beneath the oversize sleepshirt. "Let me get cleaned up and dressed, and then I’ll go downstairs and bring us up some breakfast." He nodded quietly and after grabbing some shorts and a denim shirt, she went into the bathroom. She quickly splashed water on her face and changed into the shorts and shirt, tying the ends of the shirt into a knot at her midriff.

When she came out of the bathroom, she glanced at him and saw he was still awake, twiddling his thumbs impatiently.

About 15 minutes later, Brenda returned with the lap tray laden with food. She placed it in front of Jax and his smile finally returned, followed by a puzzled look. "Cold cereal and yogurt? That’s all there is?"

"Sorry, we’re all out of those frozen waffles that Sonny made. In fact, the freezer is almost empty of all the leftover food he made. I could try to make you some bacon or something if you want…" she let the sentence trail, but didn’t really sound too enthusiastic.

Jax tried to smile. "No, that’s OK. All that fat and carbohydrate aren’t that good for you anyway." He picked up a banana. "Fresh fruit and yogurt always is good for breakfast." He peeled the banana, and then took one of the cups of yogurt and opened it. He stuck his spoon in hungrily and put it in his mouth, only to make a face.

"What’s wrong now?" Brenda asked, munching on her cereal.

"What is this stuff?" At her look of disdain, he clarified. "I mean, what flavor is this? It tastes – weird."

"It’s my favorite flavor of yogurt – white chocolate raspberries in cream. Don’t you like it?"

"Chocolate yogurt? Chocolate!?"

"I thought last night you said you liked chocolate!" she said defensively.

He shook his head. "In pudding, yes. For my breakfast food, NO WAY!" He looked at the outside of the cup. "This isn’t healthy at all. Don’t you have any other flavors with just fruit – like strawberry banana?"

"I have banana cream pie," she said hopefully. He shook his head.

"Cherry bon-bon?" she suggested. When he shook his head in disgust again, she was about to explode. "So I don’t have any flavors you like – so sue me. This isn’t a restaurant, you know. Why don’t you just have some cereal with your banana."

He turned the one of the boxes around to look at it. "Cookie crisp?" He picked up another. "Oreo delights?" He slammed them down and started to peel the banana. "How can you keep your figure trim when you eat all that junk food for breakfast? Don’t models have to stay on some kind of diet or something?" He finally conceded and took back his original container of yogurt, making a face while he ate it.

Brenda continued to munch on cereal. "I must have a high rate of metabolism. I can pretty much eat what I want and it doesn’t put the weight on me. Sonny always says…." She stopped short at his dirty look.

"Please," he said in a low tone, "don’t make me lose what little appetite I have left by mentioning his name."

Meanwhile, Brenda had finished her cereal and juice and bounced from the bed in search of the antibiotics. Jax saw her pick up the bottle. "What is this – torture-the-poor-innocent-wounded-man-day? You know I hate those things."

She took one out and gave it to him with a big glass of water. "I also know that once you started taking these your fever went away. Now if you really intend to go to Montauk, you’d better take it or you’ll have a relapse and be stuck with me even longer. And I’ll have to force-feed you some Ring-Dings for breakfast!" He put on a mock face of terror and took the pill immediately.

She gathered up all of the dirty dishes and put them on the tray. As she leaned over him to get all the pieces of banana peel, her upper body rested against his bare chest, and her heart momentarily skipped a beat. She paused, and when she looked at him, he was looking into her eyes. She thought she saw a flicker of desire there, but just as quickly, it was gone.

She picked up the tray to leave. "Now, I’ll take these things downstairs and clean up. Don’t you try to get out of bed while I’m gone. When I come back, we should probably change the dressing on your wound." She went to the door, and looked back one more time. "Remember now – stay in bed."

She returned about 30 minutes later to find him sitting up in bed waiting for her. "No nap?" she asked.

"Brenda," he said in exasperation, "I’ve been resting for over 36 hours now. I want to start getting up and around."

She looked around the room. "All right. I guess you could try taking a shower this morning. You seemed less winded when you made your trip to the bathroom today. But make it quick, because I’m still not sure this is such a good idea." He nodded his agreement and she went to the bed to help him to the bathroom. He seemed to lean on her less now and his strength seemed to be returning.

She got him to the bathroom and got out fresh towels for him. "Now, if you feel weak, grab the towel bar in the shower and call me. I’m going to be sitting right here outside the door so I’ll hear you." Once he was inside and she heard the water running, she couldn’t resist adding one more comment. "And don’t try to shave, too. We’ll get you back to bed and you can shave in bed like you did last night."

She heard his muffled, "Yes, ma’am," and smiled to herself. While he was showering, she took the chance to smooth out the sheets on the bed a little. She looked at them critically. {I should probably change the sheets now while I have the chance. But if he really does get faint, he’ll need me right away and I might not be able to hear him.} So she just settled for shaking out the top sheet and blanket and fluffing up the pillows.

She had barely finished with the bed linens when Jax appeared in the doorway of the bathroom. She took one look at his pale complexion and the beads of sweat on his forehead and she ran to grab him before he hit the ground. This time, he rested more of his weight on her and she was glad when she had him back in the bed again.

He looked at her knowing gaze. "Don’t even say it," he said in a low voice. "It’s probably just that I’m weak from lack of food."

"Uh-huh," she said acidly. Then she noticed the bandage on his shoulder. "I’d better change that dressing now. Since you’re finished with your shower, it won’t be in danger of getting wet again." He leaned back in the bed and closed his eyes and she went to gather the first aid kit.

She returned a few minutes later and he was sleeping lightly from his exertions in the shower. But as soon as her fingers touched his bare chest, his eyes popped open. He looked into hers. "Are you going to be OK doing this? I mean, a bullet wound isn’t the prettiest sight in the world."

"Jax, I was here the other night when Sean dug the bullet out, remember? I had a front row seat, in case you weren’t aware. I’ll be OK," she said bravely. {Just let it not be infected or have any kind of green ooze coming out of it. Please let it be healing nicely.}

She began to pull the adhesive tape off and after a few yelps from Jax, she finally had the bandage loosened. Taking a deep breath, she removed it, and again thanked Jax’s angels for watching over them both. The wound was healing and showed no signs of being infected.

"I can’t see it," he said. "How does it look?"

Her eyes teared momentarily at the thought of the pain it must have caused him. "It looks good. At least, I think it does," she laughed a little. "This is my first bullet wound, you know." She poured some hydrogen peroxide on a clean piece of gauze and began swabbing the wound gently. As she finished cleaning it, she suddenly felt very oddly, and when she looked up at Jax, he was staring at her with fire in his eyes.

"You have a very gentle touch," he said softly. She inhaled deeply, and then as she reached over for a clean piece of gauze to bandage the wound, his laugh started deep in his chest. "So I’m your first, huh? I don’t think I’ve ever been anyone’s first before." His eyes twinkled as her fingers fumbled with the gauze.

"Could…could you hold this?" she asked. {Is the room starting to spin?}

He smiled at her. "Sure. No problem. Need help with the tape?"

The confident feminist returned. "Of course not. I can do it myself," she replied. But when she saw those blue eyes trained on her fingers and she felt his bare chest and firm pectoral muscles, she began to tremble. She tried to smooth the strips of adhesive down, but her fingers were slow to respond. {What is the MATTER with me?} "You know," she laughed nervously, "this was a lot easier to do when you were passed out."

He reached up slowly with his right hand to grab her left hand as it smoothed over his skin. "Brenda," he said in a whisper, "you’re trembling. Is something wrong?" He kept hold of her hand and began to rub his thumb over her pulse point, and he could feel her heart rate accelerate. He smiled a fraction of a smile at her, and replaced his thumb with his lips on the inside of her wrist. As she took a shaky breath, he pressed a kiss against her palm and then asked, "Have I thanked you for being such a wonderful nurse?"

Just as she tried to remember what they were talking about and wondered why it had gotten so warm in the room, the telephone rang, making her jump. "Why don’t you put your shirt back on while I answer that?" she said softly, and then she went to answer the cordless phone.

"How’s our wounded falcon doing?" Miss Blue inquired when Brenda answered.

"He’s ….uh….he’s…." {She probably expects me to answer in code. Phone’s probably tapped.} "He’s doing much better today. I changed the dressing on his wing, and the wound appears to be healing nicely."

"Good," Miss Blue’s voice encouraged. "Is he trying to test his wings yet?"

Brenda smiled at the analogy. "Oh, yes. He’s getting very annoyed at being cooped up here. I think he wants to get outside and fly with the rest of the flock already." She eyed Jax cautiously, and he was smiling his approval at her.

"I know what you mean, sweetie. Falcons are one of the most difficult breeds to nurse back to health, you know. But just remember, we don’t want him getting out into the wild just yet. He may not be ready to defend himself against all those other predators out there since he’s still weak."

Brenda decided to chance a question. "Do you think it’s safe for me to keep him here a little longer? I won’t be endangering his chances to be accepted back into the wild again, will I?"

She could feel Blue’s smile. "You’re doing a great job, hon. But I think you could keep him a few more days before you need to turn him loose."

{Got it. The test results won’t be back yet. He’s still safe here.} "Thanks so much for checking back on me. I appreciate it."

"No problem," Blue’s voice returned. "You just take good care of him. You know how important that bird is to all of us here at the society. And you call me if you need any help with it."

Brenda ended the call and looked over at Jax. He had closed his eyes and appeared to be sleeping. His face was still pale from the pain he suffered taking his shower. He stirred a little and opened his eyes to look at her. "Was that Blue?"

She went to the nightstand and got a glass of water. "Yes. She wanted to know how you were doing." Brenda got another shirt out of the bag of clothes Blue had brought and helped him put it on. Then, she opened the bottle of pain pills and took one out.

"What’s that?" Jax asked in irritation. "I already took my horse pill this morning."

"It’s a pain pill," Brenda replied. "You looked like you were in pain after that shower episode and getting your dressing changed." Jax shook his head no, and Brenda sighed. "Oh, don’t be such a big baby. You can admit it hurts, you know. It doesn’t mean you’re any less of a man to take something for the pain."

"They make me sleepy, though," Jax mumbled as he grudgingly accepted the pill. "I can’t keep sleeping so much. I’ve got to get back on my feet." He swallowed the pill and when he lay back on the pillow, Brenda stroked the hair off his forehead gently.

"You can get back on your feet tomorrow. Blue says it’s still safe for you to be staying here. Another day won’t kill you."

As she turned to leave the room, she heard a low chuckle from the bed. "No, but your cooking might!" She turned around to give him a dirty look, but he appeared to be sleeping peacefully.

She shook her head at him. "Pig," she said softly, and then turned to leave. She barely heard him, but as she rounded the door into the hallway she heard his sleepy voice one more time.

"Hellcat."

*#*#*#*

Brenda cleaned the downstairs of the cottage and caught up on some the mail that had been piling up during the past few days. She debated whether she should wash Jax’s clothes, and ended up throwing the jeans into the washer but took the chambray shirt with the blood stains and bullet hole and buried it deep in the laundry basket. {Maybe when it gets cold enough, I can burn it in the fireplace.} She went out to the stable and fed Star and let her out for some exercise.

Brenda checked on Jax a few more times, but he was sleeping soundly for most of the day. She finally decided to try to heat up some of the canned soup late in the afternoon, and when she went upstairs to check on him around 4, she found him awake.

"Why didn’t you wake me sooner? I’ve been sleeping almost all day!" he growled.

"You need your rest," she replied. How about something to eat?" He nodded, and she returned a few minutes later with bowls of the steaming soup and ham sandwiches.

He attacked the ham sandwich and looked at the soup warily. "That’s not the old lady’s vegetable soup. What is it?"

"Chicken soup," she said proudly. "I made it myself." He looked at her and raised one eyebrow. "It’s from a can," she admitted softly. "But I don’t think even I could screw up canned soup."

He cautiously took a sip and then choked. "Don’t speak too soon!" he gasped. "Did you taste this stuff?"

She looked from him to the soup and back again. "What’s wrong with it?" She took a spoonful and tasted it. She tried not to make a face because she didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. "It’s not that bad."

"What did you add to it to cook it – battery acid instead of water? It tastes TERRIBLE!"

Her exhaustion of the past few days and her pride began to get the best of her. "Yes, I used battery acid if you must know! I thought it would cover up the taste of the rat poison I used to season it!"

As both tempers were about to explode, the phone rang. She went to answer it, chest heaving, and almost barked a hello.

"Hey, babe," Sonny’s slick voice came over the wire. "Is something wrong?"

She ran a hand through her hair wearily. {Great. Just when you think things can’t get any worse. Don’t tell me he’s coming home.} "No, Sonny, nothing at all. I just didn’t sleep too well last night. How are you?"

Jax listened to the conversation and made a disgusted face. He finished his sandwich and even tried to get a few more spoons of the soup down, but listening to her talk to Sonny made him almost nauseous.

"Jason said you had some trouble out there a few nights ago," Sonny replied. "Will you be OK for a few more days? My meeting is running longer than I expected."

"Sure, Sonny, I’ll be fine," Brenda answered with relief. {OK, at least I won’t have to worry about him for a while.} "Just take care of your business."

"I’ll miss you, babe," Sonny said. "I miss your gorgeous bod next to me at night making me crazy."

Brenda sighed. "I know, honey." {Sorry I can’t say the same.} "Listen, I’ve got something I need to take care of outside. I’ll see you in a few days, OK?" She hung up the phone and returned to the bed. At Jax’s look, she explained, "Sonny says he’s going to be delayed a few more days since the meeting’s running long."

Jax nodded as Brenda finished her sandwich. "Figures. They had a lot of contracts to discuss." He watched Brenda’s face for a reaction and there was none. "Brenda, did you hear what I just said? He’s delayed because they’re deciding who gets to live and who gets killed."

Brenda’s eyes got wide. "No – you said contracts. Sonny wouldn’t…." She saw his frown, and she put down what was left of her sandwich. Suddenly she got defensive. "Sonny may be in the mob and do some of that illegal stuff like gambling and money laundering, but he would never kill anybody."

Jax took her hand. "Brenda, the mob isn’t only about racketeering. They kill a lot of people in the mob. That’s why Kavanaugh was holding the evidence in our investigation." At her puzzled look, Jax continued. "At first, I had the evidence, and then my family started getting threats. They said that if I didn’t back off on the investigation, somebody would die. But I wouldn’t back down." He looked down into his lap and when he looked at her again, he had tears in his eyes. "My brother Jerry was killed in a car bombing ordered by the mob. After that, Tom offered to hold the stuff because they started to threaten my parents." Brenda was shaking her head "no" and tears were forming in her eyes. Jax reached over to hold her shoulders as they began to shake. "Sonny ordered the hit on my brother, Brenda. We had pictures of him paying off the hit man. He killed my brother, just as sure as if he had planted the bomb himself."

Brenda put her fist in her mouth. "NO!" she cried, and as sobs began to rack her body, she turned away from Jax and covered her face with her hands. He reached out to put a hand on her shoulder, but she just pulled away. "Leave me alone!" she cried, turning to face him again. "Haven’t you done enough already!" She got up from the bed and went to stand by her dressing table.

Jax eased over to her side of the bed and swung his legs over the side. "I’m sorry to be the one to tell you, Brenda. I didn’t know you still cared about him that much…"

"IT’S NOT ABOUT HIM, YOU IDIOT!" she exclaimed, turning back to him. He watched her in confusion, the tears streaming down her face. She walked over to him. "It’s about ME! How could I have been so stupid not to see it? Why didn’t I ever ask anything about his business?" Jax watched her and his heart broke. "I’m just so stupid! I can’t cook, I can’t make a living at anything more complicated than looking pretty and smiling into a camera…" She wiped at her eyes with a tissue and came to sit beside him on the bed. "I was almost set to marry a murderer and I never even thought to question him about anything he was doing." She let out a long sigh. "I’m so naïve it’s pathetic."

Jax put his arm around her and pulled her to him. "I’m sorry, love. The past few days haven’t been easy for you, have they?" She shook her head and sniffled. "And as for you thinking you’re stupid, that’s ridiculous. I think you’re brave, and strong, and stubborn – just look how you rescued me from the canyon and brought me back here. That was terrific."

{Great. The man thinks I’m some kind of faithful companion like Rin Tin Tin. Just what my sagging ego needs.} She sniffled again softly and reached for another tissue. Jax still had his arm around her and the hand began gently stroking her arm. "Better now?" he asked quietly. She nodded. "Need to blow your nose again?" She shook her head. "Good. I don’t want you to have a runny nose."

"Why?" she asked, wiping her eyes one more time with a tissue. She was surprised when his fingers gently took her chin and tipped it up to look at him.

"Because," he replied in an urgent voice, "I have this thing about never making love to women with runny noses." She blinked her eyes rapidly, and when she got a clear look into his eyes, she inhaled sharply at the passion she saw there. He took one finger and wiped away the rest of her tears, and then trailed the finger down to her blouse and slowly started to unbutton it. She watched it in fascination, and began to breathe rapidly at the feel of his fingers against her bare skin. "You’ve been driving me crazy, Brenda. I’ve wanted you ever since that first day when I saw you outside."

As she was about to ask him if he was really serious, he lowered his head to kiss her, and the question was pointless. His kiss was slow and deliberate, as if he had all the time in the world just to discover every inch of her mouth with his tongue. His hand tugged at the bow that held the blouse together and it fell open, and his fingers explored her breasts with the same slow urgency. She gently placed both of her hands at the back of his neck and pulled her down with him onto the bed.

He pulled back to gaze at her. "Brenda, love. Slow down." He smiled at her seductively. "Just lay back and enjoy." He kissed her again deeply, and his hand at her breast still was driving her to distraction. When he unfastened the front hook of her bra and replaced his fingers with his lips, she arched off the bed with desire.

Brenda had thought that Jax’s kisses set her on fire before, but when she felt his strong body pressing her into the soft bed, she realized that this would be unlike anything she had ever felt before. Her eyes came open suddenly and she ran her finger down the side of his face. "Jax, can we do this? I mean, your shoulder… you were just wounded…" Her eyes shut and she completely forgot what she was saying as his hand moved lower. "Oh, God, that feels so good!" she moaned, as he unsnapped her shorts and his hand moved lower still.

Jax took quick bites of her neck as her head rolled restlessly back and forth on the pillow. As his roving hand found a sensitive spot and she whimpered in delight, he quieted her with another long, drugging kiss. She opened her eyes again when he ended it and found him smiling at her. "I’ll let you know if my shoulder bothers me. Right now, the only thing bothering me is all of these clothes I’ve got on." She looked at him passionately and helped him shed them in record time.

"Are you sure this won’t hurt your shoulder?"

He smiled and traced her lips with his finger. "Then help me," he said wickedly, and as he rolled to his back, he pulled her on top of him. He stifled her gasp with his mouth and after that, she lost track of all conscious thought.

#######

Afterwards, Brenda lay with her head on Jax’s chest. "That was….amazing," she breathed quietly. She looked into his eyes. "Are you sure your shoulder is OK? Do you need a pain pill?"

"All I need is you, love." He kissed her again tenderly, and she moaned softly and cuddled into his side. "Besides, are you trying to put me to sleep again?"

She stroked his face and trailed a finger over his lips. "No, but you just…um….got a lot of exercise and I don’t want you to over-do and set back your recuperation." She began to push the sheet back and reach for her clothes when his arm snaked out to grab her.

"Where are you going? I told you I don’t want one of those pills. I just want you," he said testily.

She looked back at him in confusion. "I’m just going to get my nightshirt. I promise I won’t get you a pill if you don’t need…."

He put his finger against her lips and pulled her naked body back to him. He let out a dramatic sigh. "Now Brenda, you must realize that I’m a weak, wounded man," he said facetiously. "If I have to keep taking your clothes off every time I make love to you tonight, you’re going to make me over-exert myself. Now, didn’t you just say you didn’t want me to over-exert myself?" he asked with a sly smile.

She looked shocked. "Every time?" Her eyes widened. "All night?" He nodded at her silently and her eyes got wider. "But Jax, you were just wounded and you need your rest…"

He swept her beneath him. "Brenda, I’m a big boy now. I know when I need to sleep and when I don’t. And believe me," he said with a twinkle in his eye, "tonight, I intend to stay UP all night!!"

And he did.

To be continued….

Song credit: I wanted a slow, sensuous song to convey the mood and spirit of this story, and I think this song accomplishes that. The first line – "Candlelight and soul forever" – to me describes perfectly what J&B is all about. "2 Become 1" written by The Spice Girls/Richard Stannard/MattRowe, performed by The Spice Girls