Warning: Rated PG for possibly strong language

She was shocked to see him awake and pulling on the restraints across his lap. "Jax, what are you doing?"

He looked up at her and his eyes were bright, making her suspect that the fever was still hanging on. "I’m trying to get up, what does it look like?"

Brenda went to the bed. "Jax, you need to rest." She saw the bottle of antibiotics on the nightstand. "And you need to take one of these. Blue left these horse pills and said I should give you two a day."

To her dismay, he continued to try to undo the sheet that was keeping him anchored to the bed. "Need to get up," he muttered.

She put her hand against his chest. "No, you need to rest. I guess I did the right thing not releasing you from these yet."

Jax looked at her with determination. "Brenda, I need…"

"Is this some kind of macho thing?" Brenda asked with disgust. "Are you trying to show how strong you are, even with a bullet wound?"

Jax grabbed her arm with his right hand and pulled her down onto the bed with him. "Brenda, I’ll say it one more time. I NEED to get up. It’s not a macho thing – it’s a BATHROOM thing! Now if you don’t want me to make a mess on these pretty sheets of yours…."

Brenda’s face paled with understanding. "Oh, I see," she said with embarrassment. She jumped up and helped untie the restraints. But as soon as he tried to sit on the edge of the bed, his body began to weave back and forth. "Jax, I don’t think you’re going to be able to make it by yourself."

"Well, I sure as hell don’t think you want to watch," he muttered breathlessly. "And unless you’ve got a bedpan hidden somewhere around here…."

Brenda thought for a second. "OK, let’s compromise," she said slowly. She came to sit next to him on the right side. "Put your arm around my shoulder. I’ll help you to the bathroom and then once you’re inside, you can …uh…do your thing, and call me when you’re finished. I’ll come back inside and help you out again." She watched him close his eyes once and open them again. "Deal?"

He nodded slowly. "Deal." She scooted under his right arm, and inhaled the scent of him again. Putting her left arm around him and her right hand against his chest, she helped him stand shakily. They made their way slowly to the bathroom, and then once he was inside, she discreetly closed the door but didn’t latch it.

She heard the sound of running water and tried to occupy her mind elsewhere. Once it stopped and she heard the sink running, she opened the door. He was holding onto the sink for dear life, having decided to make the most of his trip and splashing some water on his face. "Hey, I didn’t mention a shower here, too! One potty trip and that’s it!" she said vehemently.

To her relief, he finally cracked a smile at her. "You’re loving this, aren’t you? Getting to boss me around after all that bullying I did those first few days?"

She smiled back and walked over to him, putting her left arm under his right armpit again. She looked up into his beautiful blue eyes. "As they say, my dear pig, paybacks are hell."

She helped him back to bed, and he was obviously winded from the effort. He hadn’t even mentioned his state of undress, and she was thankful for that. He lay back with a big sigh, and Brenda brushed his hair back from his forehead gently. He still felt a little warm to the touch. "If I get you something to drink, do you think you can manage to get one of these horse pills down?" she asked tenderly.

Jax nodded slowly. "Do I have a choice?" Brenda ran to get a bottle of cold water and took one of the pills out of the bottle. Jax reluctantly eyed the pill, but then he popped it in his mouth and downed it with big gulps from the bottle.

"I think I need to go down to Wagner’s and get a few more supplies," Brenda said as his eyes opened warily. "I’ll need more first aid things and I want to get you some comfort foods."

"Just watch out for the roadblocks and troopers," Jax said as he closed his eyes again. As she rose to leave, Jax grabbed her hand. "And be careful, Brenda." His eyes spoke things to her that he couldn’t put into words. She knew he didn’t mean to be careful of tipping off the police.

She smiled and nodded. "I’ll be back in less than an hour." She quickly stopped to put her hair up in a pony tail and then glanced back at him one more time before she left. He was sleeping again, so she felt a little better about leaving him.

Star was happy to see her, particularly after being stabled so quickly the night before. Brenda gave her a quick rub down and then saddled her and took off like the wind for the store. As she got nearer to it, she noticed the police cars were gone and the road block had been taken down. {D*mn! If I just had my car, maybe I could get Jax out of here in a few days when he’s stronger and before they discover that he’s not dead.} She tethered Star in the back of the parking lot as usual

When she walked into the store, she was greeted with the most wonderful smell. Mary immediately came over to her. "Are you alright, Brenda? Cliff and I have been so worried about you since Jason told us about that horrible criminal being nearby." She looked back at her husband. "Haven’t we, dear?"

Cliff looked up briefly from his newspaper. "Yeah, right. Worried. Horrible criminal. Yep."

Brenda smiled to herself. "What did Jason exactly tell you?"

Mary fluttered her hands. "Only that he had been visiting you and that man must have been nearby and he stole Jason’s motorcycle and leather jacket. The poor dear was so distressed."

{My heart bleeds for him.} Brenda took a deep breath and smiled. "Well, Mary, at least now it sounds like they caught him." She leaned in confidentially. "What have you heard on the news lately?"

The old lady beamed, finally glad to have someone other than her husband to talk to. "They say that he was shot near Cooper’s Ravine, and maybe he got blown up with Jason’ motorcycle. But they’re not sure yet."

Finally Cliff heard something he wanted to talk about. "Yeah, they’re not sure. They have to sift through the ashes for bones and guts and stuff."

"Oh, Cliff," Mary said, putting her hands to her mouth, "must you talk that way in front of Brenda? She is such a refined young lady, you’ll give her nightmares yet."

Brenda laughed to herself. If Mary only knew that the real "criminal" gave her dreams that were hardly nightmares. And he was sleeping in her bed at this very minute. "Well, Mary, I don’t mean to take up all of your time. It certainly smells good in here. Have you been cooking again?"

Mary preened. "We had such a bumper crop of vegetables this year that I thought I would make some soup. Would you like some, dear? I usually make so much that Cliff complains about eating it for a week, anyway."

{Homemade soup? Compared to what I could possibly make? Doesn’t take a Phi Beta Kappa to figure this one out.} "I’d love that, Mary. I haven’t had any home-cooked soup for ages. But you must let me pay you for it."

They haggled for a while about the soup, and then Brenda quickly picked out the few other things she needed. Mary eyed her cautiously when she bought gauze, sterile tape, and hydrogen peroxide. "Have you hurt yourself, dear?"

Brenda froze. "Oh, you know how careful Sonny is. He checked my first aid kit the other day and it was almost empty. I wanted to get these things to have it fully stocked and surprise him when he comes home from his business meeting." {Wow, I’m getting good at this lying stuff. Miss Blue would be proud of me.}

Brenda finished her shopping with a stockpile of Ring Dings, Snowball cupcakes, and Hershey bars. Mary came from the back of the store with a large container of soup. "Now, this is still kind of hot, dear. You be extra careful with it on the way home." She looked out the window. "Did you ride that horse of yours again?"

Brenda picked up the small bag and took the container carefully. "Yes, I did. Thanks for the soup, Mary. You’re a real lifesaver." {My life….and Jax’s.}

#~#~#~#

When Brenda finally got back to the cottage, dusk was beginning to fall. She stabled Star and gave her an extra apple to munch on for being such a hero in rescuing Jax. She carefully made her way into the cottage and put the container of soup on the kitchen table, cracking the lid to let the steam out. Even as just a whiff of the stuff came through the opening, Brenda’s stomach growled.

She put everything away and took the first aid supplies upstairs to the bedroom. As soon as she came into the room, Jax’s eyes popped open. "What took you so long?" he growled.

Brenda almost fainted from shock as he was dressed. He had on a light green chambray shirt that buttoned up the front, and some denim cut-off shorts. He was lounging on the bed with the covers thrown back, but his feet were still bare.

"YOU GOT UP BY YOURSELF? ARE YOU NUTS?" she exclaimed, coming over to the bed and placing a hand on his forehead. It was finally cool to the touch. But her relief was tempered with anger at his stubbornness. "You could have fallen or passed out or something while I was gone!"

"Well, I had to do something. It was getting a little drafty, you know," he said testily. "And it was just in that bag over there on the floor. Besides, I feel better – I’m not so hot anymore."

Brenda folded her arms. "Well, at least we agree on something. Miss Blue’s pills must be working. I think your fever has finally broken. How does your shoulder feel? Does it hurt?"

"No, it tickles," he said with a grimace. He folded his arms across his chest and looked around the room. "Can you get me a bell or something so I can let you know when I need something?"

{He must be getting better. Blue said he wasn’t an ideal patient.} "Why don’t I just bring you something to eat? You must be starved." Brenda tried smiling at him, but he just scowled at her in return. "And then maybe you can take a pill for the pain in your shoulder." As Brenda turned to leave the room, she heard him grunt in disgust. {And I can take a pill cause you’re beginning to be a real pain in the ass.}

Brenda fixed a tray with two bowls of the fragrant soup and some crackers. She threw on some ham and rye bread, hoping to make sandwiches once she reached the bedroom. After grabbing two cans of Coke, she carried it gingerly up the stairs.

Jax’s eyes perked up when he saw the food. He started to get out of bed, but the pain in his shoulder stopped him cold. "Stay where you are," Brenda said to him. "I’ll bring this over and set it on the bed. I’ve used it to eat in bed lots of times."

Jax watched her bring the tray over to him and set it down. "So… is this what you use when you and the godfather have a picnic in bed after some great sex?" Brenda dropped her spoon in surprise and looked up at him. His eyes were twinkling again, and he almost looked jealous. She shook out a napkin and placed it on his chest. After putting her bowl of soup on the nightstand, she picked up the tray and placed it over his lap.

"No," she answered flippantly, "is that what you and your warm, willing bimbos do after great sex? Have a picnic like this?"

He smiled devilishly at her. "Sometimes. Although…" he leaned towards her a little, "….most of the time I only include finger foods on the menu. It makes it much more….interesting."

Brenda began to feel a flush working its way up from her toes to her face. She stuttered. "Can….can you manage that yourself or do you need me to feed you?"

"I can manage," he replied, noticing that he had her rattled. They began to eat in silence. "This is really good," he said with surprise after tasting the soup. "I thought you said you couldn’t cook."

"I can’t," she admitted. "I got this from Mary down at the store. She always cooks enough for an army and she had just finished it when I was there." Brenda went over to turn on the TV. "We can watch the news for any bulletins about you."

Jax nodded. They ate for a while, and then his face drooped. "You didn’t put a straw in my Coke." When he looked at her, Brenda’s eyes were flashing fire.

"How could I have been so thoughtless?" she said through gritted teeth.

As she stood to leave and get one, he stopped her with one last comment. "Oh, and Brenda? I like the bendy ones if you have them." Brenda left the room muttering about what she would bend if this lasted much longer, but finally returned with his straw and stuck it in his soda can with vengeance.

After about 10 minutes, the news ended and the evening sitcoms came on. Jax devoured every bit of soup in his bowl, all the crackers, and was eyeing her ham sandwich enviously. Brenda shook her finger at him. "Blue told me a light diet for you until tomorrow. No sandwiches yet."

Jax folded him arms in disgust again. "OK, I realize that this is to get back at me for being so mean to you in the beginning, but I never starved you!"

"This is NOT about you being mean to me." She sat and thought for a minute. "I know – how about those pudding cups? I got some when we went to Wagner’s."

"You did?" He looked shocked that she actually remembered to get them for him. At his little-boy look of enthusiasm, she bounded off the bed and went to get the pudding. Jax sighed as she left the room. Her happiness at finally pleasing him made him feel even worse. {Jax, why are you being such a pain in the ass. She only saved your life. You shouldn’t take it out on her – the fact that you can’t stand depending on somebody else to take care of you.}

She returned a few minutes later with a pudding cup and spoon in hand. She presented it to him like some kind of treasure, and his eyes actually sparkled again. As she went back to sit on the other side of the bed, he pulled the top off and then wrinkled his nose. "What is this?"

"Pudding. Why? What’s wrong with it?" she asked.

He looked at it again and smelled it suspiciously. "It’s yellow."

"Of course it’s yellow," she answered in relief. "It’s tapioca."

His face fell. "But I like chocolate." He smelled it again. "Everybody likes chocolate."

"Tapioca’s good, too. Try some."

He cautiously dipped the end of the spoon in the pudding and then tasted it with the tip of his tongue. "It’s icky."

"Jax, you sound like a two-year old. It’s not icky." She came over to sit next to him and took her spoon and dipped it in, tasting some. "It’s good."

He watched her for a moment, and then tried a little more. "It’s lumpy." He gave it to her. "I don’t like it."

She took a spoonful and ate it. "It’s not that lumpy." She turned away and he almost didn’t hear her. "Sonny happens to love it."

"Why does that not surprise me?" He shook his head. "He likes tapioca and peppermint shnapps. What a guy. I’m surprised that some other woman hasn’t grabbed him up before this," he said dryly. Brenda decided to ignore his comment and gathered up the mess from supper and took it downstairs.

When she had cleaned up the dishes and returned upstairs, she was surprised to find Jax trying to get out of bed again. "NOW what do you think you’re doing?" she asked with a sigh.

"I feel grubby," he replied, rubbing his hand along his face. "I want to try to take a shower and shave."

Brenda came and stood in front of him, placing her hands on his chest and pushing him back on the bed. "No way, Jose. You almost passed out just on a bathroom break. There’s no way you could stand long enough to either shower OR shave, much less both."

"You could help me in the shower," he said devilishly, his eyes sparkling again.

She lost her breath at the thought of being inside the shower with him. Her hands were trembling, so she hid them behind her back. "No, that’s not a good idea. You’re so much bigger than I am, and if you really got faint, I don’t know that I could support you on that slippery shower floor."

Jax looked at her knowingly. "OK, hellcat, I’ll concede on the shower point. But I really would like to shave." As Brenda stood trying to figure something out, he added in a low voice, "Besides, when we shower together, I want to be the one supporting you." She gasped softly at the look in his eyes, but then turned away to try to turn the conversation in another direction.

She went in the bathroom and came out with the basin she used to sponge him the night before. "How about if I fill this with water? I can hold it on my lap and sit next to you while you shave in bed. We can put a mirror on the lap tray you just used to eat."

He nodded his agreement. "Anything – just to get rid of this stubble."

She got everything set up on the bed and then helped him wrap a towel around his neck so that he wouldn’t get the dressing on his shoulder wet. She brought one of her lighted mirrors over and put it on the tray, and then sat by his side, holding the basin of hot water on her lap, which was protected by a thick towel.

Her mind wandered as she watched him shave. "Jax, have you remembered anything else about the night your partner died?" He smiled at her gratefully, stopping shaving for just a moment. "What?" she said.

"You said, "the night your partner died," not "the night you killed your partner." Thank you for believing in me." She shrugged her shoulders, but urged him to continue. He began shaving again. "I haven’t remembered much."

"Can you tell me about it? Sometimes talking helps you jog your memory," she said softly.

He rinsed the razor in the basin. "Kavanaugh and I had been working on the organized crime task force for about 2 years together. We had made some significant discoveries about links between the mob and the local police force."

Brenda’s face paled. "The PC police?" She looked stunned, and then gasped. "Is that what you meant when you and Blue were talking about Mac? He’s in cahoots with the mob?"

Jax nodded solemnly. "We had hard proof of it – transcripts of phone conversations, pictures of him accepting payoffs from mob figures, diaries from various informants."

"Then you could just show them that and everything will be OK!" she said excitedly. "You can prove you were being framed!"

"That’s the problem," he said wearily, rinsing again. "Kavanaugh had the proof. He told me he was storing it at a cabin he had up near Montauk for safe keeping." Jax stopped shaving and his hands stilled. "The night we went on the stakeout, we were talking about when to bring out the proof and take everyone down. Then suddenly, Tom began getting very upset, and started apologizing to me."

"Apologizing to you ? Why?"

Jax sighed. "Apparently he had gotten greedy. He figured he could put the squeeze on Mac for some cash before we finally brought the goods to the Feds."

"He was blackmailing Mac?"

Jax nodded. "And a few other crooked cops we had the goods on in the PC force. He thought he could make a few extra bucks before we had to turn them in."

"But blackmail’s illegal!"

Jax looked seriously at Brenda. "So is harboring a fugitive." She stared down into her lap, but then back up at him. "Anyway, he started telling me how sorry he was for screwing things up, letting Mac know what we had. He told me that he was going to stop, and that he thought we ought to turn the information in as soon as possible." Jax put the razor down and wiped his face with a towel. "Then, we heard a noise outside the car. We got out, and the next thing I knew, somebody hit me from behind. When I woke up, Kavanaugh was dead, my service revolver was in my hand, and Taggert was screaming in my face that I had killed Tom." Jax shook his head sadly. "Mac had it planned real neat. He got rid of his blackmailer, and by figuring that I would run for it, could give his troops the order to shoot on sight, and get rid of me, too." He looked at Brenda. "It’s as neat a frame as they come."

"But what if you hadn’t run? If you just told everyone that Mac was crooked…" Brenda began gathering up the shaving things.

"It wouldn’t do much good without the proof, and with me behind bars, I couldn’t very well get up to Montauk to get it."

Brenda’s face lit up. "Well, you could just tell Sean to go get it! Or Blue!"

Jax shook his head. "Won’t work. Mac’s got the lines bugged. If I had been arrested and tried to get the message to Sean, Mac would have intercepted it first and gotten to Montauk to get the proof first and destroy it."

Brenda walked back to the bed, holding a glass of water and a pill. "So does Mac know where the proof is?"

"No. That’s all that’s keeping me alive. I have to get up to Montauk and get the proof before he finds out where it is and gets it himself and destroys it." He looked skeptically at the pill. "What’s that?"

"A pain pill. I thought you might want to take it so it would help you sleep." Jax nodded and took it from her. He downed it and then Brenda helped him get settled into the bed. She cleaned up the mess from his shaving, and when she came back into the bedroom, it appeared that he had already fallen asleep. She smiled quietly, and then dimmed the lights to go downstairs.

After cleaning up in the kitchen and turning out all the lights in the cottage, Brenda returned to her room. As she stood in the dim light, Jax looked so much like a sleeping little boy to her. So innocent, yet with such a complex problem that no innocent little boy would have. She went into the bathroom and finally took a quick shower. After putting on her night-shirt again, she came back into the bedroom to find Jax still sleeping.

She considered sleeping in the bed with him again, but couldn’t really justify it to herself. His fever was gone, so he wasn’t likely to have another episode of delirium. She might crowd him in her sleep and cause him to move the shoulder painfully. As she stood there trying to think of a good reason to stay, he opened his eyes slowly. "Brenda?" he whispered.

She went to sit on the bed on his side where he could see her. "Right here, Jax. Do you need something?"

His eyes were barely open. "You." She held her breath for a minute, and his hand reached out to take hers. "Aren’t you going to sleep with me again tonight?"

"You knew I was here?" she chuckled. "I didn’t think you knew what was going on."

His eyes were closed, but he smiled. "I don’t remember everything, but I definitely remember holding that beautiful body of yours next to mine."

"But Jax," she whispered, "I might disturb you, and your fever’s gone. You’re much better tonight. I can just go into the other room, and if you need anything…"

He opened his eyes. "I need YOU, Brenda. I miss you." He closed his eyes again. "Now are you going to get into bed with me or am I going to have to chase you into the stable again?" He could barely get the words out before he fell asleep again.

She had to laugh at him and shook her head. But in the end, she went and turned out the lamp on the night stand and climbed into the bed with him. As soon as he felt her weight in the bed, he rolled to that side and extended his right arm. She rolled into her place next to him, and the arm came around her like a steel band, cradling her to his chest. He sighed once, and then fell into a deep slumber.

Brenda lay her head on his chest. {I think I need you just as much, Jax.} She turned up to look into his strong, handsome face. {But I think I know what else I need, too. I think I need to go on a trip. Somewhere I’ve never been. Somewhere like…….Montauk.}

To be continued….