Harlan reached for Brenda’s hands. "I wish it was that simple, Brenda……" She angrily pulled away and put her closed fist to her quivering lips. "But this time, it’s the truth. It’s very likely that Jax has the same defective gene that killed his older brother."

"Very likely! But you don’t know for sure!" Brenda’s voice rose with hope and her chest was heaving.

Harlan took her hands again and this time she didn’t have the strength to break his grasp. "No, that’s true. I don’t know for sure." He sighed and stared down at the bed before looking into his daughter’s agonized eyes. "John Jacks told me about Jerry one night when we both had had too many tequila shooters. They had just gotten the diagnosis from the doctors." He shook his head. "Needless to say, the family was devastated."

"Jerry was five years older than Jax?"

Harlan nodded. "John had high hopes that Jerry would take over the family business someday. Jerry was his father’s shadow when he was a young man. John taught Jerry everything he knew. And then they got the news."

"Jax ……..he never talked about having a brother."

"From what John told me, it was too painful for any of them to talk about for a long time."

Brenda nodded and put her fist to her mouth again, chewing anxiously on her fingernail. "So when Jerry was diagnosed, John had Jax tested too?"

Harlan took a deep breath. "I’m not sure, Brenda….."

Her eyes widened. "You’re not sure????" She gripped his arm tightly. "Then it’s possible…….it’s possible that Jax *doesn’t* have the gene….."

Harlan lay a hand over Brenda’s to interrupt her. "John didn’t have the heart to have Jax tested right away, Brenda." He grimaced. "I’m not sure if he *ever* wanted to face the awful possibility of knowing the truth." Brenda’s face fell only slightly. "But Brenda, you have to be realistic about this. It’s fairly obvious that Jax must have had himself tested and found out that he did carry the gene……"

"Obvious? Obvious to who?" Brenda frowned. "You’re not a mind-reader……"

"Brenda, think about it – Jax refused to follow in his father and brother’s footsteps. Instead, he chose a life that exposed him to danger at every turn." He took her hands in his and held them tightly. "Honey, ever since you’ve known him, Jax has had this urge to live on the edge – almost to tempt death."

Tears gathered in Brenda’s eyes again. "That’s your prejudice talking, daddy. You’ve always felt that any man who didn’t want to go into the business world was crazy……."

"There are LOTS of fields to choose if you’re not interested in business, Brenda." Harlan’s face was grim as he forced her to face the truth. "Jax has been working for the WSB all these years, not knowing if he would live to see another sunrise, because he’s dying anyway……."

"No…….no, he can’t be……." Brenda whispered. Her lower lips trembled and tears ran down her face. "Not now. Not when we just got everything straightened out between us." She closed her eyes and put her knuckle in her mouth for a few minutes, but then abruptly stared up at her father. "You’re wrong. He’s not dying."

"Brenda, honey, I know you have strong feelings for the man." Harlan shook his head. "It makes sense that you would feel grateful to him for getting you out of Drakar. H*ll, if it hadn’t been for Jax, you’d be married to a monster……"

"I just spent the last week traipsing through the jungle with him, daddy." Brenda’s voice shook with the strength of her conviction. "We faced death so many times it wasn’t even funny. And Jax *fought* it, daddy. He was determined that we were going to make it out of Drakar alive – both of us. A man who’s going to die doesn’t fight that hard……"

"Then why did he leave you, Brenda?" Harlan’s voice was soft. Despite the hatred in her heart for her father, Brenda saw that he was only trying to get her to face the truth. "Why didn’t he stick around and tell you the truth himself? About everything?"

"I don’t know….." Brenda turned towards the door hopefully as she heard it swing open. Her face fell again when Dr. Trong appeared. "But he must have had a reason……I’m sure of it. The same way I’m sure that he’ll contact me just as soon as he can."

Dr. Trong approached the bed quietly. When both Harlan and Brenda turned to face him, he smiled wanly. "So sorry to interrupt, but there are a number of reporters outside. They wish to speak with Miss Barrett when she’s feeling up to it….."

Brenda started shaking her head as soon as the words were out of the doctor’s mouth. "Oh, noooo……I can’t do it……" She turned to Harlan and wiped her tears with the back of her hand. "The last thing I need right now is the press hounding me for details of what happened in Drakar."

Harlan rubbed his hand up and down the side of Brenda’s arm. "I know, honey, but think about it for a minute." He took Brenda’s chin between his fingers. "An animal like Rashid has to be stopped, and nobody’s going to try until they know what he’s *really* like." Brenda inhaled shakily. "The world will never know what Rashid is capable of if *you* don’t tell them……"

Brenda hesitated for a few minutes but then turned to Dr. Trong. "Tell them I’ll meet with them in about thirty minutes."

He nodded once briskly. "I will also tell them that you are still weak from your ordeal." Dr. Trong placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I will be there with you and will call a halt to the proceedings if they get too intense."

Brenda nodded her thanks as tears gathered in her eyes again. {It should have been Jax there with me facing the reporters. Why did you have to leave, Jax? Why couldn’t you just stay so we could work it all out?}

*^*^*^*

When the first flash bulb exploded in front of Brenda, she winced visibly. Memories of explosions that lit the Drakarian night sky flooded her mind. Dr. Trong obviously saw her reaction and reached over to take her hand as he, Brenda, and Harlan took their seats at a table in the front of a conference room. "Gentlemen," the doctor intoned, "Miss Barrett is recuperating from a very grueling ordeal. I will be carefully monitoring her condition and reserve the right to call a halt to this press conference at any time."

"Absolutely." Ambassador Keithley’s voice came from the side door of the room as he entered. He held a large stack of papers in his hand as he walked briskly towards the table. "Since Miss Barrett’s experiences during the past week are also of utmost importance to the American State Department and the United Nations, I’ll remind you to keep your questions of a non-specific nature."

More flash bulbs exploded again and one reporter rose to his feet. "Miss Barrett – is it true that you and Prince Rashid are no longer engaged to be married?"

Brenda’s stare was as cold as ice. "Prince Rashid tried on several occasions during the past few days to kill me. I’d say that’s as good of a relationship-breaker as any, wouldn’t you?"

"And you left Drakar because of your failed personal relationship with the Crown Prince? Not because the royal family was in imminent danger of losing control of the country?"

"*I* was in imminent danger of losing my life." Brenda took a deep breath and folded her hands at her waist, propping her elbows on the arms of the chair. "No diamond tiara is worth dying for."

"Miss Barrett – is it true that an agent for the World Security Bureau brought you out of Drakar safely?"

Brenda’s hands started to tremble ever so slightly. "That’s correct."

"And was that agent Jasper Jacks?"

Brenda’s chin jutted forward as she returned the reporter’s fierce stare. "Mr. Jacks is an expert on Drakar. He was well versed in the language and lay of the land. It was only natural that the WSB would send him to bring me out……"

Another reporter jumped to his feet, raising his hand as he did. "But *did* the WSB really send Mr. Jacks, Miss Barrett?" Brenda hesitated for just a moment and the reporter seized the opportunity. "Isn’t it true that you and Mr. Jacks had a previous intimate relationship, and he *volunteered* to go into Drakar on a virtual suicide mission and bring you out?"

{Suicide mission.} The words seemed to drop a giant weight on Brenda’s chest. Harlan reached over to squeeze Brenda’s hand and tried to look into her eyes. Brenda cleared her throat awkwardly. "I…..uh……I really didn’t ask Mr. Jacks for all the details ………" Her voice became steady and cold again. "I was so busy trying not to get shot or flogged to death that I never had a chance to ask Mr. Jacks why he had come."

"Miss Barrett……" Several reporters jumped up and shouted Brenda’s name at the same time. Ambassador Keithley finally pointed to one of them. "Isn’t it true that you and Mr. Jacks renewed your intimate relationship while he was trying to bring you out of Drakar? Isn’t that part of the reason that Rashid threatened to kill the both of you?"

Brenda suddenly gripped the arms of the chair. Her knuckles started to turn white and her chest heaved with her anger. "Crown Prince Rashid is a lying, manipulative, ruthless, cruel dictator! He nearly raped me on more than one occasion! He refused to let me leave the country or even place a phone call to my family or a representative of the American government." She held up two fingers of one hand. "I came *this* close to being executed by a firing squad." As silence settled over the room, Brenda sat back in her chair a little. "I don’t think that jealousy justifies any of that, do you?"

Ambassador Keithley inhaled deeply and rose to his feet. "I think that Miss Barrett has answered just about enough of your questions for this afternoon, gentlemen. I’m sure you can see she’s been through quite an ordeal, and representatives from the American Embassy still need to speak with her at length about her experiences." More flash bulbs went off as the Ambassador put his hand to Brenda’s elbow to assist her to her feet.

When she got back to her room, Brenda fought the tears that had been threatening to erupt at the mention of Jax’s name. "Don’t worry, honey," Harlan crooned. "I’ve got us reservations on the first flight out of here in the morning. We’ll be in Honolulu by tomorrow night and your mother and I will make sure that those reporters won’t be able to get to you……"

Brenda suddenly pulled away from her father. Tears made streaks down her cheeks. "I’m not going *anywhere* with you, daddy!" She came close to him and tapped his chest with her finger angrily. "You’ve already done *more* than enough to ruin my life, thank you very much! I’ll be handling it on my own from now on!"

Dr. Trong cleared his throat awkwardly and shuffled into the room. "I don’t mean to pry, Miss Barrett, but you are still very weak." He glanced at Harlan and then looked back at Brenda with fatherly concern. "I’m sure you have your own personal reasons for not wanting your father to accompany you, but you really should not be alone yet."

"Thank you, doctor," Brenda murmured. She stalked away from her father and sat down gingerly on the bed. "But I won’t be alone." She lifted her chin defiantly towards her father. "I’ve called Lois and she and Ned are meeting me in Honolulu."

"Your mother will be decimated, Brenda." Harlan actually did sound sincere. "She’s been a nervous wreck ever since Muwai fell and there was no word from you……."

Brenda took a long deep breath. "I’ll visit with mama in Honolulu ……" Her glare caught Harlan between the eyes. "Does mama know what you told Jax? About the baby?"

Harlan shuffled his feet and clasped his hands behind him. "No."

Brenda’s lower lip quivered. "I didn’t think so." She tried to smile brightly at Dr. Trong. "Would you please excuse me now, doctor? I think I’d like to get some rest before I start packing for the flight out tomorrow."

The doctor bowed at the waist. "Of course, Miss Barrett." He started to leave but then turned back towards Harlan. "I think it would be better if you left also, Mr. Barrett."

His mouth was a grim line. "I understand." Harlan walked over and placed a kiss on Brenda’s head, although she winced when he did. "I’ll see you in the morning, Brenda." When she looked up at him, tears were in his eyes. "I love you, honey. You have to believe that."

Brenda just blinked rapidly and turned her head away. Harlan sighed, turned, and left the room. When Brenda finally heard the door slide shut behind the two men, she turned towards her pillow and fell forward onto it with a loud sob. As she gave in to the anguish that she had been suppressing for most of the day, Brenda wasn’t sure what she believed anymore.

*^*^*^*

Brenda levered herself up out of the swimming pool with a mighty heave to sit on the edge. As she pushed the dark hair back off her face, she rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands. She reached for a white, fluffy towel and briskly dried her face and hair before wrapping it around her shoulders.

"’Ya know, if you had been racin’ or somethin’ that time, I betcha woulda won some kind of Olympic medal." Brenda smiled and looked over her shoulder at the brunette who was lazily lounging in a chaise next to the pool. "’Ya feelin’ better now?"

Brenda rose to her feet and strolled slowly over to the chair. "Just being with you makes me feel better, Lois. You know that."

It had been six weeks since Brenda got on the plane that took her out of Lontak and her life as an almost-princess. She kept her promise to her father and spent some time with Veronica Barrett when they landed in Hawaii. But when Veronica saw the way Brenda had collapsed into Lois’s arms and cried on her shoulder, she knew that her daughter’s friend could do more for her than she could. She had sent Brenda back to California with Ned and Lois with her blessing, but only after she secured a promise from her daughter to call her once a week.

After a few days of rest and relaxation in Honolulu, Brenda had gone with Ned and Lois to their estate back in Los Angeles. Ned had arranged for Brenda to have a small gatehouse to herself, and she took advantage of the privacy soon after they arrived. Holing herself up with just a laptop computer and a large supply of Diet Coke and Ring Dings, Brenda had spent days documenting her experiences in Drakar. Obviously, she left out many of the steamy details of her sexual reunion with Jax. Although the memories were painful, it was also a cathartic experience for her. And combined with the pictures from some rolls of film that Brenda managed to smuggle out of Drakar, it made one h*ll of a manuscript.

Lois rubbed the side of Brenda’s arm affectionately. "So – didja hear anything from Sheldon yet?"

Brenda smiled wanly. "No – but I really didn’t expect to." She fiddled with the ends of the towel. "He told me that the editorial committee wouldn’t get back to me on a publishing date until sometime early next month."

Lois waved her elaborately manicured hand at Brenda. "Well, I would bet the old homestead that you’ve got a best seller there, girlfriend." She leaned forward with a smile. "Maybe even a Pulizter!"

"A Pulitzer isn’t what I want, Lo." Brenda grimaced.

"I know, honey, I know," Lois crooned. "And you know that if my Nedly and I could get Jax for ‘ya, we would." She shrugged her shoulders. "But I guess when a WSB-spy-guy like that doesn’t wanna be found, ain’t nobody gonna find him till he’s gosh darn ready."

Just as soon as they had gotten back to California, Brenda had launched an all-out search for Jasper Jacks. She risked the heartbreak of going back to the Malibu beach house, but it was deserted. She called J&J Jacks and spoke to Jax’s father, but even John Jacks was clueless as to his son’s whereabouts. When she couldn’t get past the switchboard operator at the WSB, Brenda even threatened to fly to Washington, D.C. and camp out on the premises until someone would talk to her. But when a call finally came from Robert Scorpio, it left Brenda more despondent than ever. Robert told her that he hadn’t seen or heard from Jax since getting the word that he had survived the attack at the Lontakian border. Furthermore, he advised her in no uncertain terms that if Jax wanted to disappear, there was no man or woman alive that could find him.

"I just don’t understand it, Lo," Brenda sighed. She picked up the bottle of sunscreen and was about to apply some to her shoulders when Lois snatched it out of her hand. "Things were going so well between us, you know? I mean, we got all the bad stuff out in the open about the miscarriage, and it seemed like we really had a chance to make a fresh start."

Lois poured some sunscreen into her hand and rubbed it gently on Brenda’s upper back. "I know, honey, and I wish I could say somethin’ really profound that would give you hope or help ‘ya find the guy." She gripped Brenda’s shoulder and forced her to turn around and face her. "But you know that Ned’s got that new private investigator workin’ on it, so maybe we’ll hear somethin’ soon."

On cue, Ned came walking down to the pool. Unlike his wife and Brenda, he wore casual khaki pants and a dark blue polo shirt. "Mail’s here, ladies……" he called, waving a stack of envelopes in his hand.

Brenda immediately jumped to her feet. "Is there anything about Jax? Any news?"

Ned grimaced and shook his head. "I’m afraid not, Brenda." He sighed. "And no news from Sheldon either." He flipped through the envelopes. "Just the usual requests for interviews from tacky talk shows and some invitations to speak at rubber-chicken luncheons."

"Nedly! Are you readin’ Brenda’s mail again?" Lois put her hands on her hips in mock indignation.

Ned leaned down to place a kiss on Lois’s full red lips. "All part of the standard landlord service, my dear." He smiled at Brenda broadly. "Did you two having some nice "Brenda and Lois" time this morning?"

"She’d rather be havin’ some nice "Brenda and Jax" time, not that I blame her," Lois replied drolly. "That man’s enough to make any happily married woman think twice……"

Ned slapped Lois’s arm playfully and Brenda just shook her head at the two of them. "You guys know that I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me since I got back……"

Lois arched an eyebrow. "Why do I sense a "but" comin’ after that statement?"

Brenda sighed. "I have to get back to the real world soon, Lo. I can’t just keep avoiding it." She nodded slightly in determination. "I have to find myself a place of my own, and get a real job….."

"….and I take it working for your father isn’t an option?" Ned spoke the question quietly.

"I refuse to spend any more time with the man than I absolutely have to," Brenda countered. "And that’s my *final* answer."

Lois rose from the chaise and donned her cover-up. "You know your ma called here again yesterday." Brenda looked away. "The woman’s just worried about you, Brenda," Lois continued gently. "She even said that you had some messages – some people who’ve been callin’ the house for you and want you to call back….."

Brenda grimaced and got up to put on her own beach robe. "Probably just more "old friends" who want something from me….." She squinted up at the sun. "I don’t know about you, girlfriend, but I think I’m just about done on both sides."

"Why don’t you two come inside? I think cook’s just about got lunch ready," Ned offered. He helped Lois carry her book and radio back up to the main house from the pool as Brenda tagged along behind them. When they got to the main driveway, Brenda glanced towards it, hoping against hope that Jax would be standing there with his arms outstretched in welcome. But once again she was disappointed.

After sharing club sandwiches and small salads for lunch, Ned retired to his study while Brenda and Lois debated how to spend their afternoon. They finally decided to head for Rodeo Drive and some shopping and people watching. When Lois put her head inside the study to inform Ned, her shocked exclamation echoed through the hallway. "Holy moly!!"

When Brenda followed her into the study a few minutes later, she found Ned and Lois glued to the broadcast on the television set. Ned had been working and therefore tuned the station to CNN so that he wouldn’t be overly distracted. But when Brenda saw the face on the screen, even she had to watch her language. "Oh, my God……." She turned to a grim Ned and Lois. "What’s…….what’s going on?"

The voice of CNN’s commentator answered Brenda. "In case you’ve just joined us, we’re bringing you live coverage of a press conference called by Rashid ben Ravi, former Crown Prince of the country of Drakar."

"Press conference?" Brenda was livid. "What’s he doing holding a press conference? Shouldn’t he be like in a holding cell or something instead?"

"I’m afraid not, Brenda," Ned stated glumly. "Rashid managed to escape the rebels in Drakar and got out before they overthrew the government." Ned pointed to the smiling, healthy former despot. "It seems that he’s found asylum in Tehran."

"So now the American government can’t do anythin’ to him?" Lois was equally aghast.

"Not unless the Iranian government agrees to honor an extradition order, which I seriously doubt."

"So he just……" Brenda came closer to the set and pointed at it in rage. "He just gets away with what he did to us? Scot free?"

Just as she finished speaking, Rashid smiled broadly and the crowd cheered. "Looks like it." Ned’s voice was bitter.

There was silence in the room for a few minutes. Then, Lois got up from her chair, walked across the room, and then turned to stare back at the television with her arms crossed. "’Ya know, as my brother Louie would say, there’s really nothin’ wrong with that guy."

Brenda’s eyes widened. "Nothing wrong? Is Louie NUTS?"

"Naw." She smiled smugly. Louie would say that there’s nothin’ wrong with Rashid that a really deep lake and a few cement blocks wouldn’t fix."

The tension in the room dissolved as Ned and Brenda burst into laughter. Lois came to put her arm around Brenda’s shoulders. "Come on, girlfriend. Let’s go spend some money. That oughtta cheer SOMEBODY up!!"

A week later, Lois convinced Brenda to pay her mother a short visit. As Brenda pulled up in front of the Barrett estate, she had to take long deep breaths to calm her racing heart. She hadn’t been back since the time when she had the miscarriage. Just seeing the long black Lincoln Town Car parked in front of the house brought her father’s face to mind and made her nauseous. She vaguely noticed a small, foreign model compact car parked behind her father’s and hoped it belonged to one of his business associates. With any luck, Harlan would be tied up in a meeting and she wouldn’t have to face him.

Veronica Barrett came to greet Brenda in the front foyer with outstretched arms. "Brenda, darling!" She hugged her daughter for a long time and then finally pulled back to look into her eyes. "You’ve lost weight," she added critically.

"Not a lot, momma," Brenda replied softly. She cupped Veronica’s elbows with her hands in the loose embrace. "And I’ve been seeing a doctor so you don’t have to worry about me."

Veronica stroked the side of Brenda’s face. "Well, I do – it’s a mother’s prerogative, you know." She finally let go of Brenda and put her arm around Brenda’s shoulder as they started walking side by side. "So – tell me what you’ve been doing lately."

"Well, I spoke with Sheldon Mansfield yesterday and he says the top brass is thrilled with my manuscript." Brenda’s enthusiasm was hard to hide. "The book should go to the presses late this month and Sheldon thinks it might be out in time for the Christmas season!"

"That’s wonderful, darling!" Veronica stopped and hugged her daughter again. "I was so happy when you sent me that advance copy to read." She shook her head. "I never would have thought that Rashid would turn out to be such a horrible person. He seemed like such a nice young man when we lived in Drakar……."

They continued walking again. "You weren’t to blame, momma," Brenda said. She noticed that her mother was leading her down the hallway towards her father’s office but hoped they would continue on to the solarium at the far end. "I think I was living in my own little fairy tale world, thinking that I could grow up and marry a prince and be a princess someday….."

Veronica halted Brenda again just in front of Harlan’s office. "There’s nothing wrong with believing in fairy tales, darling." As Brenda took a breath to reply, the door opened and Harlan appeared in the opening.

"Brenda!" Her entire body tensed at the sound of his voice but Harlan seemed to ignore it. "I’m so glad you came by today……"

"Yes, daddy," Brenda interrupted, pulling Veronica by the arm. "I’m sure you’re *thrilled* to see me, but I’m on a pretty tight schedule today and I really don’t have time….."

Harlan caught Brenda by the arm as she tried to pull Veronica down the hallway. "Oh, but there’s somebody here who’s left several telephone messages for you." Brenda frowned and tried to pull away but Harlan held her fast. "And since you haven’t returned his calls, he thought he should pay me a personal visit….."

Just as Brenda took a deep breath to tell her father exactly where he could put those telephone messages, Harlan opened the door to his office wide. When Brenda saw who was standing immediately behind her father, her head started to spin. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out.

He was wearing faded black denim jeans, a cobalt blue jersey t-shirt that clung to every ripple of his chest muscles, and a stone-washed denim jacket. His hair fell down across his forehead the way it always used to every morning after he took a shower. When he smiled at Brenda, she felt like her heart was beating so fast it would jump right out of her chest.

Jax winked at her and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Hey there, duchess………where you been hidin’ yourself?"

To be continued…..