{What do I say? What do I say?} Brenda had never felt so tongue-tied. Finally, Anthony saved the day.

"Maa-Maa!!" he cried, lunging from Jax’s arms into Brenda’s. Jax was not experienced at holding babies, but luckily he kept hold of the child’s legs, as Brenda caught his upper body. The only casualty of the situation was that Jax’s left arm was effectively trapped between Anthony’s body and Brenda’s breast.

"Come on, baby, let go!" Brenda cried in embarrassment, since Anthony thought this new position was fun and enjoyed being a bridge between two humans. He had wrapped his legs around Jax’s arm, and didn’t show signs of letting go soon.

Jax, meanwhile, was trying to do his best in a "touchy" situation. He smiled devilishly at Brenda. "Oh, that’s OK, he’s not too heavy. I think I could hold him all night like this, if necessary."

The blood rushed to Brenda’s face and she blushed becomingly. "Come ON, Anthony!" she muttered through clenched teeth one more time, and the toddler finally got the message. Brenda swung him up into her arms, and he immediately reached for her pearl choker.

"Here, Brenda, let me take the baby," Gloria said, rushing forward to get him before he destroyed the finished product that had taken Brenda so long to achieve. She swooped Anthony out of Brenda’s arms and Brenda shifted a little to readjust her dress and pearls. She smiled up at Jax.

"Maybe we should try that again," she said softly. "Hi."

"Hi, yourself," he said, wondering how he would be able to go all night without kissing her. "Am I permitted to tell you how wonderful you smell?"

"It’s the flowers," she said shyly. "And besides, that would make this sound too much like a date…"

"… and it’s not, I remember," he answered. "Well then, I won’t tell you how exquisite you look, either, since I don’t want to break any of the rules."

She smiled at his creativity. "Thank you for being so careful." She noticed Gloria and Carmine, both grinning like idiots at the interchange. "Well, shouldn’t we be going?"

"Now, Brenda, you just don’t worry about Anthony. He’s gonna be fine with grandma and grandpa. You just have a good time and don’t worry about getting home early," Carmine advised as they headed toward the door.

Brenda began to worry that if they dallied much longer, Carmine would insist on getting out his camera and they could pose in front of the couch for pictures. She lifted the black and silver crocheted shawl that Gloria had loaned her, and Jax took it from her and draped it over her shoulders.

As they went out the door, Jax leaned back and whispered to Carmine, "No need to worry about her, sir. She’s perfectly safe with me. I’ll make sure to have her home at a decent hour."

Carmine chuckled and looked at Jax. "It’s not HER I’m worried about, young man. It’s YOU. How you can take one look at her and not fall in love is gonna be a sight to see!"

Jax looked into Carmine’s eyes, and realized he had another ally. {Would you still feel that way if you knew it was my fault your son is dead?} He shook off the feeling, and followed Brenda down to the car to assist her in getting inside.

Brenda sat in the car, waiting for him to get in. {What will we talk about? What will we talk about?} Just as panic was about to set in, Jax got in the car and they pulled away from the curb. He began asking about her business and thankfully, he hadn’t forgotten the fine art of making small talk. Before she realized it, they pulled up in front of the Port Charles Country Club.

"I’ve never been here before," Brenda said as they entered the main lobby. She was still a little shaken by the constant presence of Jax’s hand at her elbow. "They don’t exactly have too many of the "mommy & me" functions here, you know."

Jax laughed. "This is my first time here since I’ve come to Port Charles, too. I think the reception is in the private dining room, off to the left." He guided her that way, and when they reached the dining room, he offered to take her wrap. She refused, since it gave her something to do with her hands, but let it slip down to her elbows so the corsage wouldn’t be crushed. He left his hands at her shoulders, though, and she inhaled sharply when she realized he had bent down to whisper in her ear. "Now, I KNOW that’s not the flowers. You smell terrific, too."

She looked over her shoulder at him in surprise, and realized that he was so close that she could smell his aftershave. She was becoming accustomed to it, and it fit him, she thought. Masculine, strong but not overpowering, sexy, and appealing. Just as her thoughts were taking a dangerous turn, she noticed a familiar face watching her across the room.

Jax followed her gaze. "Is that somebody I should know?"

Brenda smiled. "Probably. Come on – we might as well get the receiving line out of the way as quickly as possibly." She led him over to the intimidating assemblage of Port Charles city fathers. What she didn’t know was that they were watching her as well. The familiar way that Jax had his arm around her and the fact that she was with the new, powerful, wealthy business lion of Port Charles did not go unnoticed.

"Ned, isn’t that Brenda Cerullo?" Edward Quartermaine grumbled to the tall, dark young man in the receiving line. "I thought she was out of circulation. Or at least, that’s what you’ve been telling me!"

"Grandfather, be quiet! They’re coming this way!" Ned hissed. He reached out as Brenda came up to him. "Brenda, you look fabulous! I didn’t know you were coming tonight!"

{Who the hell is he? I thought Brenda said she didn’t date. How does she know him that well?} Jax’s head was spinning.

Brenda hugged Ned, and then turned to Jax. "Ned, I’d like you to meet my new friend, Jasper Jacks. Jax, this is Ned Ashton…"

Jax interrupted her. "… CEO of ELQ. Nice to meet you, Ashton. I’ve read a lot about you." Jax’s eyes were cold as he shook Ned’s hand.

"And we’ve read a lot about you, Mr. Jacks," the older gentleman interrupted. "Edward Quartermaine, founder of ELQ," he introduced himself. "Just exactly why would J&J Jacks decide to open a new satellite office here in little old Port Charles?"

Jax chuckled to himself. {The old boy doesn’t beat around the bush.} "Nice to meet you, too, Mr. Quartermaine. My family has been interested in developing our New York holdings for some time. Since I’ve recently entered the family business, it seemed a perfect match for me to open this office. New opportunities have always intrigued me." He looked down at Brenda as he spoke, and suddenly Ned wasn’t sure if Jax was still talking about business.

Edward bristled. "Well, since both ELQ and J&J Jacks have a substantial stake in the new docks project, I think we should probably discuss it further. Would you and Brenda care to join us at our table for dinner?"

Jax pulled back slightly, and tightened his arm around Brenda’s waist, much to her chagrin. "Thanks for the offer, Mr. Quartermaine, but I didn’t bring Brenda with me tonight to listen to boring business discussions. We can do that in the board room sometime in the future. Will you excuse us?" He leaned down to Brenda’s ear, and his breath ruffled the hair there as he spoke, sending shivers down her spine. "Would you like something to drink?" He deftly spun her around so that they were walking away from the Quartermaines, leaving Edward still sputtering.

"Not now, thanks," she whispered back shakily. When they were out of Quartermaine earshot, she turned to him. "I thought you said you wanted me to introduce you to the movers and shakers tonight."

"Mm-hmmm," he responded, looking around the room.

"Well, THAT was THEM!" she said quietly. "Why did you hustle me away from them so quickly?"

{So I can find out what’s going on between you and Ned first.} "Brenda, you have to distinguish between old money and new blood. Edward Quartermaine’s days are numbered. He’s had to hand the baton down to young Ashton. And I’m really not interested in either one of them. I’m looking for the NEW movers and shakers of Port Charles." He tried to sound nonchalant. "So, it seems that you are pretty close to young Ashton, though. How do you know him? He doesn’t attend one of those Mommy and Me classes, does he?"

Brenda chuckled. "Actually, Ned is signed with our record label." Jax choked. "Really. He performs under the stage name of Eddie Maine. Old man Quartermaine has a fit every time he takes the stage, but thank goodness, he’s got enough sense to not let Mr. Q stop him. He’s really quite talented. Oh, and he also dates Lois. I think they have a real thing going."

Jax let out a quiet sigh of relief. The only competition Ned would be providing would be in business. He noticed Brenda looking back at the Quartermaine table. "Something wrong?"

Now it was Brenda’s turn to sigh. "No, I’m just really glad you didn’t accept Edward’s invitation to eat with them. I feel like everyone in the room is saying to themselves, "Oh, look, the little widow is getting out in circulation again."" She glanced over at the Quartermaines. "Or I’m sure some of them are thinking, "Well, at least she had the good sense to wear black. Shouldn’t she still be in mourning?"" She looked sadly at Jax. "Do you ever get the feeling everybody is talking behind your back?"

"I really don’t think about it," he answered, gently leading her over to a corner of the room more removed from Quartermaine eyes. "I’ve never cared much about what other people thought of me or said about me. You can’t be in the corporate takeover business and give a hoot about public opinion." He looked deeply into her eyes. "The only thing I imagine people are saying behind my back tonight is "How did he get lucky enough to get a beautiful woman like that to accompany him to this boring affair?"" He saw her eyes start to widen. "Uh-oh, I’ve gone over the line again, haven’t I?"

Brenda smiled. "Well, it would help a lot if more of the people here knew that this really wasn’t a date."

"Would you like me to have the band announce it?" he asked with a grin that could do serious damage to an iceberg. When she smiled again, he leaned down to whisper, "And I, for one, am glad you chose to wear black tonight. I would tell you how divine you look in that dress, but I know that’s against the rules for our non-date, so I won’t."

"Well, thank you so much for following the rules," she snickered. "It looks like everyone is going in to eat. Shall we?"

They moved to where the dining tables had been set up, carefully avoiding the Quartermaine table. Brenda noticed a couple sitting by themselves at a table. "Do you know them?" Jax asked.

Brenda shook her head. "He’s the new police commissioner. He was brought in from out of town – but I think Carly mentioned that he’s originally from Australia. Want to sit with them?" She and Jax made their way over to the table, and introduced themselves. Mac and Felicia Scorpio were friendly, and the dinner conversation was lively as Mac and Jax compared background stories from Australia. Since they were new and didn’t know Brenda’s life story, she enjoyed the time without having to worry about what they were thinking about the little widow’s new "friend."

Jax was a charming and attentive dinner companion. Brenda enjoyed the delicious steak dinner, and Jax was always there to make sure she had anything she needed – condiments, more coffee, a refill for her water glass. She hadn’t had this pampered of a meal in ages. Dining with Anthony always resembled a war zone. When she wasn’t trying to get his hand to shovel the food into his mouth, she was dodging flying portions of food and flailing hands. She was usually up and down at least 5 times during a meal, and she had become accustomed to eating cold food herself. So for her, this was a real luxury.

Felicia excused herself to go to the ladies’ room after dinner and while Mac went to get an after-dinner brandy, Jax looked at Brenda. "Was the steak cooked the way you like it?" he asked with a smirk, as the waiter took away her empty plate.

"Yes," she answered truthfully. "I didn’t have to cook it or wear it!" At his puzzled look, she continued. "You see, Anthony is at that age when he’s trying to feed himself, and most of the time, I’m trying to make sure that the food goes in his mouth and not on the floor. An uninterrupted meal for me is a real luxury. This was a real switch – I’m so used to wiping his mouth to clean it, or grabbing body parts to keep him from escaping from his high chair, I almost didn’t know how to behave tonight! I had to restrain myself tonight from leaning over to cut your meat for you!"

As she giggled at the mental picture, Jax leaned over to her and whispered in her ear again. "Believe me, Brenda, anytime you want to clean my mouth for me, I won’t object at all, but I can think of a much more fun way to do it than with a napkin!" She gasped and turned to face him, and their mouths were only millimeters apart as he continued. "And if you have the urge to grab any of my body parts, I would be most interested!"

Brenda felt the blood rush to her face, but as she looked into his blue/green eyes, she felt herself being drawn towards him. His head tilted slightly to the left and hers to the right. Just as their lips were about to meet, the orchestra struck a chord, startling them and breaking the mood. The lights in the room dimmed, and the band swung into dance music.

"Dancing? I didn’t know there would be music for dancing," Brenda said, trying to regain her composure.

Jax straightened, trying to slow his heartbeat back to normal. "I guess they want to get everyone into a good mood before they make their presentation about the docks project." They watched other couples dancing for a while, and Brenda sat, enjoying the music. Her glance strayed to Felicia and Mac, who had his arm around his wife. His fingers were idly stroking her bare arm, and she snuggled closer to him.

{Louie and I used to do those kinds of things. Sometimes he would just stroke the back of my hand with his fingers…} Brenda immediately felt like cold water had been thrown over her. She had gone several hours without even thinking of Louie. She had even almost kissed another man! What was the matter with her! Guilt didn’t make a very appealing after-dinner companion.

Just as she was about to tell Jax that she wanted to leave, he leaned in close. "Who’s that blonde woman over at the table near the Quartermaines?"

Brenda followed his gaze. "Oh, that’s Katherine Bell. She’s the head of Deception Perfume. I think that’s subsidiary of ELQ." She looked at Jax. "Why? Are you thinking of taking over perfume companies now?"

Jax shook his head in disgust. "No. She just looks like she wants to take ME over, body and soul. She’s been staring at me all night, and now she looks like she wants ME for dessert." Brenda watched her, and Katherine gave Jax what she apparently thought was a sizzling, flirtatious look. He looked at Brenda in desperation. "Dance with me."

She was shocked. "Dance? Now? Here?"

"I know, it’s probably against every rule in the "non-date" book, but you’ll be saving my life here. I promise that I will consider your debt repaid, with interest," he pleaded, as Katherine rose from her seat. "It’s like that movie, Jaws – she’s coming to get me!"

He held his hand out to her, and when Brenda took one look at his blue eyes imploring her to rescue him, she couldn’t resist. He led her out on the dance floor, and Brenda tried to ignore the looks they were getting from everyone in the room. Jax realized her discomfort, and placing his finger beneath her chin, he tipped her face up to him. "Don’t think about them. Just look at me and relax."

{Yeah, right. Look into those baby blues and relax.} Brenda took a deep breath, and tried to think of some pleasant conversation. "You’re a very good dancer," she said inanely.

Jax’s face sobered. "You mean, for somebody who was in a horrible accident?"

"Oh, I didn’t mean…." Brenda felt like she wanted to die, right there on the dance floor, but Jax’s face softened.

"I don’t really think of it as dancing," he joked. "Just leaning in time to the music." At that point, he tried to spin Brenda around, and her ankle turned over in the high heels, throwing her momentarily off balance. Jax caught her to him, tightening his arms around her. "Are you OK?"

"Yeah, it’s just I’m not used to these high heels. I just lost my…" Her words cut off abruptly as she looked into his eyes. He hadn’t released his hold on her. Where before they were in a polite dance position, he now held her body against him, wedged securely between his legs, and her chin rubbed against his shirt front.

The orchestra picked that opportune moment to swing into an old melody, and the female vocalist stepped up to the microphone.

Jax pulled her closer, if that were possible. She felt so good in his arms. He put his face next to her hair, and inhaled its fragrance. Jasmine. The same as the letters. He rubbed his face against her ear, and placed just the hint of a kiss behind it.

{This is what Dr. Napoli meant in Psych 1 – all those experiments about monkeys holding baby dolls and the effects on children of not being held as infants. The positive effects of touch on the human animal.} Brenda had missed this – being held in a man’s arms – and she hadn’t realized it how much until now. She rested her head against his chest, and could hear the reassuring beat of his heart. She never wanted the song to end.

As the music ended, Jax and Brenda reluctantly pulled apart and applauded politely. Brenda wondered how to bridge the awkward silence, but she was saved by Edward Quartermaine, who announced that everyone should take their seats since the presentation on the docks project was about to begin.

Brenda sat through the presentation, and although Jax was fascinated, she began to feel how "out of shape" she was at social functions. She tried to stifle her yawns, but finally one sneaked out. Jax felt her embarrassment, and put his arm around her. "Do you want to leave?"

"But isn’t this the part you wanted to hear? The whole reason we came?"

"No," Jax answered truthfully. {The real reason I came is because I wanted to be with you.} "I’ve done all the people-watching I need for one night." They made their excuses quietly to Mac and Felicia, and then quickly escaped through a side door.

When they were safely inside Jax’s car again, Brenda began to get nervous. The end of the evening was coming. Even though it wasn’t a date, the dance had been very romantic. Would he expect a payoff? Did she want him to?

Jax was as nervous as she was. He began to fiddle with knobs on the dashboard to try to relieve some of his anxiety. He turned the radio on, then down, then up. He turned the air conditioning on, then adjusted the thermostat. "Comfortable?" he asked her. When she nodded, he combed his fingers through his hair, and then finally let his right hand rest on the seat next to her.

Brenda watched the hand carefully. What if it came over to take hers? Would she hold hands with him? What if he placed it on her knee? What if he moved it higher? What if ….?

But the hand stayed where it was. Soon, Brenda saw the Cerullo house not far ahead. Every light was off, but Brenda was sure that some snooping eyes were looking out a window somewhere. He pulled up in the driveway, and the hand turned off the ignition of the car. She dreaded the next moment, but Jax simply jumped out of the car on his side and headed around to open her door.

Fate had other ideas for them. As she stepped out of the car, her high heel caught in a crack in the driveway. Jax was standing close enough to catch her. He laughed and said in a low voice. "I think those shoes should be declared dangerous to your health." He had placed his arms around her waist and as he steadied her, she lost her balance again and leaned against him.

She looked up at him. Thinking back on it later, she wasn’t sure if she reached up or if he leaned down, but the next thing she felt was his hand on the side of her face, and his mouth closing gently over hers. It wasn’t forceful, or intrusive. It was full of promise, and warmth, and sweetness. It asked, not demanded. Just as quickly as it began, it ended. Jax took a deep breath. "I’m sorry. Are you one of those girls who don’t kiss on the first date?"

She smiled back at him. "But it’s not a date, remember?"

"Oh, yeah. Darn. Silly me. I forgot." His eyes twinkled in delight.

He walked her up to the front door. He half expected the porch light to come on, but thankfully it didn’t.

"Thanks for a lovely time, Jax. I really enjoyed myself."

"Brenda." He looked at her like a lost little boy, and she came closer. He put one hand on her waist, and she looked puzzled, but let him. "I know you didn’t want this to be considered a date."

"Right."

"And it wasn’t a date. I mean, I don’t want you to think I break my word about things."

"I know you don’t."

"But if I hadn’t…"

"If you hadn’t what?"

The hand slid around to the back of her waist to pull her against him. "If I hadn’t promised…" He never finished the thought. His hands came up to cup her face, and her eyes slid shut as he lowered his lips to hers. One hand made its way to the back of her neck to tangle in her hair there. The other hand stayed at her face, his thumb softly stroking back and forth along the edge of her chin. He teased her with light kisses at each corner of her mouth, and his tongue traced the perfect bow of her upper lip. It caused her lips to part, her breath coming out in a long sigh. He swept his tongue into her mouth and took her lips full force with his in a long, drugging kiss. This time, there was nothing tentative about it. As his tongue continued to tease hers and he tilted his head to get a better taste, his one hand slowly eased down her body to her waist, so that the backs of his knuckles gently brushed over her breast. He heard the hint of her moan at his touch, but also felt her body tense at his sensual attack. He cursed himself for pushing too hard, but it felt so right. He gently broke the kiss, and pulled back to gaze into her passion-glazed eyes. "Good night, Brenda."

Thinking back later, she didn’t know where she got the strength to say it. "Good night, Jax." She watched him walk back to the car and get in, and let herself in the house. Thankfully, Gloria didn’t come out to ask how the dinner went. Brenda floated to her room and quietly shut the door.

She leaned her back against the door and touched her finger to her lips. {It wasn’t a date. And that wasn’t a kiss.} But as she walked over in the dimly lit room and saw her reflection in the mirror, she gave every appearance of a woman who had been kissed, and kissed thoroughly. Her lips still were deep red from his touch. She took a ragged breath, thinking of the way Jax made her body come alive with his touch.

As she unpinned the corsage, she realized her hands were still shaking. She sat down at the vanity and watched herself in the mirror to avoid impaling her hand on a corsage pin, and began thinking about the kiss. Even thinking about it made her feel warm inside. It certainly put to shame those experiments in high school with Jagger behind the football bleachers. She had never known any man that could kiss like that. Not even ….

Her shaking hand flew to her mouth to stifle the sob. She looked down on the vanity and saw it -- Louie’s picture. At that point, she burst into tears at her wanton betrayal of her husband’s memory.

To be continued….

*Music credit: "When I Fall in Love," from non-album tracks sung by Nat King Cole. Song by Victor Young/Edward Heyman.