After investigating many leads, they finally ended up at a surgical center and rehabilitation clinic in Texas. Jax soon discovered that the recovery would be worse than he anticipated, and he anticipated that it would be a living hell.

He grew to dread his physical therapy sessions, but grimaced his way through the pain. His anger at what had happened in Dhofar helped feed his determination to be whole again. He was sitting outside with Jane and John one afternoon, when a young nurse went by.

"How ‘ya doin’ today, Jax?" she asked coyly.

He smiled and waved, but really didn’t encourage her interest. "See, my boy," John chuckled, "you’ll be fighting them off with a stick again real soon."

Jax hung his head. "My cane, you mean."

Jane came over to rub his back. "I’m sorry, Mum, I’m just kind of down today. I didn’t do very well at physical therapy yesterday. And there’s still the scar on my face…"

"Jax," she crooned, "you can’t be so tough on yourself. You set up goals for yourself that even superman couldn’t achieve. And as for that scar, you know the plastic surgeon said it would fade much more as time goes by." She looked at the departing nurse. "And SHE certainly doesn’t seem to mind it."

Jax smiled weakly at his mother’s optimism. She was right about one thing – he knew that many of the nurses weren’t put off by his wounds. In fact, quite the contrary was true. Half of the nursing staff was in love with him. A male orderly who came in regularly after his shift to play poker with Jax filled him in on the details. It seemed that Jax was the topic of many speculative conversations at the nursing station. Many of the nurses were quite eager and willing to help him FULLY recuperate.

Jax had to smile at that. The orderly also had begun sneaking him copies of Playboy each month, so Jax wasn’t worried that at least part of his anatomy was still functioning properly. But he avoided anything more than just a casual friendship with any of the staff. He didn’t want messy emotional complications getting in the way of his recovery. And, he just wasn’t ready yet to feel anything, other than anger and guilt.

Then, one day, the orderly brought in a large duffel bag. "What’s that stuff?" Jax asked as he dumped it on the bed.

"They shipped this here all the way from Dhofar," the orderly replied. "This was all they could salvage of the stuff from the officers’ quarters building."

Seeing the toiletries and personal items of his fellow officers just brought back the anger and confusion again. Jax looked at the various personal items with distaste, until his attention was drawn to a small, black metal box with a combination lock.

"Hand me that metal box, would you, mate?"

Jax held the box in trembling hands. He dialed the combination – just one number, and it sprang open. The orderly came over to peek over his shoulder.

"Looks like some pocket change to me, and a bunch of old letters."

Jax looked up at him, quickly wiping the tear from his eye that had started to form. "You’re right, it’s just some old letters."

The orderly left the room as Jax’s mind drifted back to the day he first saw them.

*****

*****

But Jax HAD forgotten it, until now. He fingered the letters gently, and then slammed the box shut. "Get rid of all of the rest of that stuff," he said gruffly, holding onto the box for dear life. He tried to put the box and the letters out of his mind that afternoon while he sweated through his physical therapy, but God help him, he couldn’t.

That night, after all the lights were out and the last nurse came in to check his blood pressure, Jax reached down and pulled out the box and took out the letters. He was tired of looking at glossy, painted models in men’s magazines. He was tired of eager, nubile young nurses who panted after him. He wanted a real woman. Someone who actually existed, with feelings and thoughts and needs.

Cursing himself for being a cad to do it, he slowly opened the first letter and smelled the light scent of jasmine. Hands shaking, he counted the letters. 25 in all. Each scented with the same light fragrance.

Always a perfectionist, he first put them in chronological order. Then, still swearing at himself for violating Louie’s privacy, he began to read.

^^^^^^

Dearest Louie,

^^^^^

Once the surgeries and rehab had been completed, Jane and John flew Jax to California to finish his recuperation at a home they owned in Malibu. John kept pace with business activities from the J&J Jacks offices in Los Angeles, and Jax spent many hours out on the beach, trying to lose the sickly pallor that months in the hospital had given him.

Jane watched him through the windows of the family room as he made his way back up to the house. John came up behind her, putting his hand on her shoulder.

"He’s come a long way, hasn’t he, mother?"

Jane nodded, her eyes watering. "It’s hard to believe that we almost lost him. Except for the way he limps a little when he’s tired, and the remnant of that scar on his cheek, he almost looks like my little boy again."

John sighed and sat down in the chair. "I don’t think even the most radical surgery will bring back that little boy, Jane. Jax has changed. This seems to have given him a totally different outlook on life. He actually asked me a few weeks ago to read some of the files I’m working on. He asked me to explain a few of the deals to him, and the boy seems to have a knack for the business! He made some d*mn fine suggestions."

At that point, Jax came in through the patio doors and dropped into a chair. "Why were my ears burning?"

"Too much sun today?" Lady Jane suggested, trying to be humorous.

"Mum, don’t play dumb with me. I know you and dad have been holding your breath, waiting for me to take off on one of my binges again."

John Jacks went to pour himself a before-dinner drink. He offered one to Jax, who declined. "Actually, son, your mother and I were just discussing the way you’ve begun to show an interest in the family enterprise." He looked at Jax seriously. "You’d make a fine addition to the team, boy."

Jax stood up and went to look out at the ocean. "You know, I never really thought about what I wanted to do when I grew up." He chuckled to himself softly. "Guess I never grew up, until now." He looked back soberly at his parents. "But the accident changed all that. I feel so darn lucky. I feel like I’ve been given a second chance at life. I don’t want to screw it up this time." He walked over to John Jacks. "I’d be proud to join you in the business, dad."

John Jacks hugged his son silently. He couldn’t believe that it was finally happening. "Great news, Jax! I’ll call the LA office and tell them to begin preparing a space for your office…"

Jax held up a hand. "Hold on, dad. I didn’t necessarily mean here in California."

John looked a little shocked. "Well, son, I just assumed that since you’ve been recuperating here, you would want to continue with these therapists and doctors…"

Jax sighed. "Dad, they’ve done all for me that they could. The only improvement from here on will depend on me. I know the exercises. I don’t need any more surgeries. What I NEED is a change."

Jane looked frightened for a moment. "What do you mean, Jax?"

He sat down and looked John in the eye. "I want to go to New York, dad."

John let out a sigh of relief. He was afraid for a moment that they had lost him to some exotic location again. "Of course, son, the Manhattan office will be glad…"

"No, not Manhattan, dad. I want to open a new satellite office in New York – in the city of Port Charles."

"Port Charles? Is that in New York?" Jane looked confused.

Jax nodded. "It’s on the Port Charles River. Has good port possibilities and docking facilities. I think we should make a run there for our shipping interests."

"It sounds like you’ve already investigated this, son. Sounds like it might have a lot of potential. Talk to me."

John and Jax walked into the dining room together. Although Jane was happy to see her son and husband on such good terms, she still had her suspicions about why Jax had chosen that particular city. Something was going on.

*~*~*~*

She was the most beautiful thing Jax had ever seen.

He had seen her before in the past few weeks, but always in her van or coming or going out of doorways. This was the first chance he had had to just watch her as long as he wanted, close enough to really see every detail, unbeknownst to her.

She was petite. Louie had never said that. She had such delicate, long, thin fingers. She had hair that reminded him of spun silk, and it was the color of midnight. He longed to run his fingers through it. It was pulled back off her face into a high ponytail, and bangs framed her face.

Her face. He could look at that face forever. Her eyes were a dark, rich brown. He could get lost in them. Her lips were full and lush, and her complexion looked so soft he ached to touch it. She had on blue jeans that clung to her like a second skin, and some kind of shoes that had fronts but no backs to them – almost like bedroom slippers. She wore a form-fitting, seemingly strapless top, covered by an oxford-cloth shirt that was tied at her waist.

What he liked most was the way she talked to the child. She seemed to treat him as an equal, speaking to him evenly, and when she laughed, he collapsed into giggles. They seemed like they were perfectly content with each other, despite the crowded mall on that Saturday afternoon. People ebbed and flowed around them as they sat on a bench, and the child tried to eat his first ice cream cone.

Jax saw Brenda purchase the cone at a vendor, and then miraculously push the stroller and maneuver the toddler over the bench, holding her purse, change, and cone all at the same time. Once they sat, she helped him with his first experience with the ice cream, guiding the cone with one hand and wiping his chin with a tissue in the other. Every now and then, she would sneak down and lick the cone herself, and as the ice cream dribbled down her chin, Jax’s thoughts strayed to how he wanted to clean it for her. The toddler laughed at her as she laughed at herself, and Jax was denied the pleasure of his fantasy as she wiped her own chin with the tissue.

When the tissue was soaked and the cone almost gone, Jax watched as she spoke sternly to the child, and then turned to go throw away the trash in one of the mall containers. But as soon as her back was turned, the toddler slipped off the bench, and began moving as fast as his little legs would carry him towards a sparkling fountain in the middle of the mall.

Jax straightened up in alarm. After an unusual Saturday morning meeting, he had shed his suit coat, and now it hung on one finger over his shoulder. His shirt sleeves were pushed up to his elbows, and his tie was in his coat pocket. He had been leaning against a post, watching Brenda and Anthony, but when he saw the boy take off, he knew a disaster was in the making. Taking his eyes off Anthony for a split second, he saw Brenda turn to look back at the bench and saw the pure terror in her eyes when she didn’t see her son.

Jax knew that Brenda couldn’t possibly get to the fountain as quickly as the toddler could, and he knew if he didn’t move quickly, the toddler would find out just how deep the fountain was. He threaded his way through the maze of shoppers, who didn’t notice or care about the unattended child who was climbing the wall of the fountain.

"Oh, God," Jax muttered, as he tried to maneuver past a woman with several shopping bags, and he realized he wasn’t going to make it. Anthony made a little splash as he went over the wall.

Jax increased his pace and, upon reaching the fountain, dropped his suit coat on the floor and stepped into the water. It came up to his knees, and he scooped the choking child out and cradled him to his chest.

"Anthony!" Jax could hear Brenda’s anguished screams as she finally fought her way through the crowd to the fountain. Jax held the young hoodlum back far enough to look him in the eye.

Anthony, meanwhile, was having the time of his life. He looked into Jax’s eyes, and clapped his wet hands together in front of them, spraying water and making Jax blink. He smiled a gummy grin at Jax, showing two even rows of baby teeth, and repeated in a happy voice, "WA-WA, WA-WA!"

With his trousers leaving a wet trail behind him, Jax carefully sloshed his way over the wall again and out of the fountain. Although the shoppers had gathered to see the commotion, they stepped back to make room for him. Jax could see that Brenda was still trying to make her way through the throng.

He looked Anthony in the eye. "OK now tiger," he said in a low voice, "you’re going to be in trouble with your Mum for this one. Take it from one who’s been there before. You need to handle this with her just right." He winked at the toddler, and in response, Anthony grabbed two handfuls of Jax’s blonde hair with his wet hands and began to pull. Jax stuck out his lower lip at Anthony, and the toddler immediately let go and stroked Jax’s face with his wet hand gently.

Brenda was finally able to get through the crowd, many of whom were commenting on the state of parenting today and how modern parents just ignored their children. Giving them dirty looks, Brenda shoved her way to where Jax stood, never taking her eyes off Anthony. "Anthony, oh Anthony, are you okay? You scared mommy to death!" she cried, as she took him from Jax’s arms and squeezed him, not noticing his wet clothes or the tall man that had been holding him.

As soon as Anthony felt Brenda’s distress, he picked up on it and his lower lip began to quiver. Huge tears began to flow from his eyes, and his loud wail could be heard through the mall. "Maaa-maaa!!!"

Jax lowered his head and began to chuckle as he bent to pick up his suit coat. {The kid’s an expert already. Knows how to play his mother like a violin, and he’s only a year old.}

Brenda, meanwhile, was becoming more frantic. "He’s hurt, oh my God, he’s hurt! Anthony, are you OK?"

Jax knew he had to put a stop to Anthony’s dramatics. "He’s OK, let’s just go over here and sit down." He put his hand out, and the crowd around them peeled back as though by magic. "Show’s over, folks. Please let us though. The boy’s fine."

Brenda was vaguely aware of a large man guiding her over to a bench in the mall, but she was so busy worrying about Anthony that she really didn’t notice him until she sat down. As she finally realized that Anthony hadn’t sustained any life-threatening injuries in his escapade, she turned to take a look at his rescuer.

She knew he was a big man, and it took a long time for her gaze to travel all the way up to his face. Needless to say, she wasn’t quite prepared for his chiseled good looks, intense eyes, and the hint of a scar on his cheek. She swallowed hard, and managed to squeak out a "Thank you."

Jax sat down with her, putting his coat on the bench. "I really think he’s fine. Your reaction just scared him, that’s all."

At first, Brenda thought he was criticizing her like the harpies in the crowd. But when she looked into his eyes and realized he wasn’t, she relaxed. "I guess I did," she said sheepishly. "He just scared me so. I didn’t realize he could move that quickly and get away from me."

Jax felt himself sinking into her brown eyes. He had to do something before he made a complete fool of himself. "I know. He took off like a shot when you went to throw away your trash." Brenda looked at him in puzzlement, and he added, "I was watching him work on his ice cream cone. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude, but it was just so touching. His first, I take it?"

"Mmmm…" Brenda mumbled, still too mesmerized by his eyes to string coherent thoughts together to form a sentence. They were so intensely blue, they seemed to hold her gaze captive with a hypnotic power. She thought it was a blessing that whatever tragedy had caused the scar on his cheek hadn’t scarred those beautiful eyes, and then she was embarrassed that she cared at all! Suddenly, her gaze was drawn from his face to the wet trouser-clad knee that was pressing against hers. "You’re wet! Did you go in the fountain after him?"

Jax had been equally entranced by the brown velvet of her eyes, and suddenly realized he was making little puddles on the parquet mall floor beneath the bench. "Oh, I guess I did. I don’t even remember going in, I just wanted to make sure Anthony was all right."

Brenda looked puzzled. "How did you know his name?"

{Oh, God! I’m busted!} "Uhhh, I heard you calling for him from across the mall."

Brenda nodded at his explanation, and Jax began to breathe again. She felt like a tongue-tied teenager at her first co-ed mixer, and she cursed herself for the feeling. Suddenly, she glanced down at her shirt front. Anthony was chewing on her shirt, and she realized that by holding him, she had soaked the tube-top she was wearing, leaving little of her shape to the imagination. To add to her embarrassment, Anthony chose that moment to sneeze, drawing Jax’s attention to him and the place he occupied in her lap, right in front of her chest.

"Oh, gosh, you’re wet!" Jax said. {Well, that was bright. Great opening line.}

Brenda was wishing for the entire earth to open up and swallow her. "Well, thanks again, we’ve really got to go. ‘Bye," she said inanely, hoisting Anthony on her hip and starting to leave.

"Wait! Aren’t you forgetting something?"

{So he’s NOT as sweet and thoughtful as he seems. He wants a reward.} "What?"

Jax motioned towards the ice cream stand. "Your purse and Anthony’s stroller, for starters."

{Brenda, get a grip!!} "Oh, how stupid of me. I was just so…."

Jax smiled indulgently and placed his suit coat around her shoulders. "Upset, yes, I can imagine. Why don’t you sit here and get yourself together and I’ll get them for you?"

Brenda opened her mouth to protest, but before a sound came out, Jax was already walking over to the ice cream stand. As she sat back down, she took a few moments to observe him when he wasn’t staring back at her. He must have been in a terrible accident. When he walked, there was just the slightest hint of a limp. It was almost invisible, but he definitely favored his left side. But even that didn’t detract from his athletic build. Even in his business attire, she could see his broad shoulders and tall, lithe frame. He was almost graceful in his movements for such a large man. His blonde hair hung down slightly over his shirt collar in the back, and was a riot of curls and waves.

Despite the slight limp and the hint of a scar she noticed, he commanded attention from nearly every woman he passed in the mall. He had a confident virility that enabled him to walk back from the ice cream stand with her purse slung over his shoulder, pushing the stroller, and still ooze sensuality.

As Brenda stood with Anthony again, she tried to put him into the stroller with no success. Sensing his mother’s internal turmoil, he decided he didn’t want anything to do with riding in a stroller, and he stiffened his little legs so that they would not bend. Then, as if the afternoon hadn’t been enough of a trial, Anthony decided it was time to exercise his lungs.

"He’s tired. It’s way past his nap time," Brenda sighed in explanation.

But Jax just chuckled with good nature. "Then I’ve got a suggestion. Why don’t you carry him and I’ll just push the stroller to your car?"

Brenda looked at him again, the blonde curls falling with an endearing quality across his forehead, and his trousers still dripping. "Oh, I really couldn’t inconvenience you…"

"No inconvenience at all," Jax responded. As Brenda nodded her agreement, Jax went to push the stroller. Jax took a deep breath. "But there’s something I really need to get out in the open first…."

To be continued….