Brenda showed up at L&B Records the following Monday in a harried state, dropping her briefcase and some CD’s at least three times in the hallway before she made it to her desk. Lois just sat at her own desk smiling, and Carly had a silly grin on her face as she trailed Brenda picking up her things.

Brenda looked from the one to the other as though they had lost their minds. "What?"

Carly giggled. "I’d better get back to the front desk, Mrs. Jacks." She put emphasis on Brenda’s new last name, and Brenda let out a long sigh of exasperation. Lois just pointed to the front of Brenda’s desk, and when she came around, she saw Lois had already replaced the nameplate.

"Welcome back, Mrs. Jacks," Lois said sexily. "What kept ‘ya this mornin’? Anyone I know?"

Brenda looked daggers at her. "Good morning, Lois. Although it hasn’t been that good of a morning so far." She went behind her desk and sat down. "I never realized how having just one more person in the house could throw a monkey wrench into the morning routine. Between Jax and Anthony throwing their Cheerios at each other this morning, it’s a miracle I’m here at all!" She began to sort through some of the papers on her desk and Lois just sat there expectantly.

Lois finally stood up and walked over to Brenda’s desk, perching on the edge. Brenda looked up at her and sighed. "I’ve got that meeting with the software representative today, Lois, so if you’ve got something to say, SAY IT!"

Lois twiddled her thumbs. "Somebody’s awfully cranky this morning. Guess it’s hard to get used to having Anthony in the house again. Can’t have all that wild sex swinging from the chandeliers with the kid around." She looked at Brenda for a reaction, but only got another cold stare. "So how was it?" Lois finally asked.

"How was what?" Brenda muttered, looking for a file.

"The wedding night, you idiot!" Lois replied, pulling the file away from Brenda.

"Fine!" Brenda answered through her teeth. "We went home and went to bed. End of wedding night."

Lois wiggled in anticipation. "Yeah…now you’re getting to the part that’s interesting. So how was it – the bed, I mean?"

Brenda looked at Lois deliberately. "It was soft and comfy," she hissed. "Jax insisted on buying the most expensive mattress in Windom’s."

Lois looked like she was about to explode. "You know d*mn well that’s not what I’m talking about, Bren! How was … you know…. the nooky-nooky?"

Brenda completely ignored her remarks and grabbed the file back. "So, did you get a chance to look at the sample of that software program the guy left?"

"So," Lois purred, "is he the strong, forceful type or the slow, tender type?"

"I looked at it once and I’m not really sure L&B is big enough to computerize."

"Does he talk dirty to you?" Lois muttered, leaning down over Brenda’s desk.

Brenda was turning red. "Frankly, sometimes I think computers can be more of a hindrance than a help."

"Who did more moanin’ – you or him?"

"And then Carly will probably spend her entire day surfing the Internet instead of working…"

Lois sighed and crossed her arms on her chest. "You’re not gonna tell me a thing, are you?"

Brenda folded her hands. "You know, Lois, that’s what I like about you. You are SO perceptive."

Lois stood up and paced the office. "I don’t get it. I mean, you were married to my own BROTHER, and at least you told me about how he did at kissin’. What’s the big deal now?" She came back to Brenda’s desk. "So is Jax a BIG deal?"

Brenda sputtered. "Lois, this entire conversation is juvenile and I’m leaving the office now." As she stood to exit the room, Lois watched her back in disgust.

"OK, so just answer me one question, OK?" Brenda nodded reluctantly. "What does he look like naked?" she said with a cheshire grin.

Brenda put her hands on her hips. "Lois, you have NO idea," she said truthfully. She turned then to leave the office. {Because I have no idea either.}

*~*~*~*

The next week was one of discovery for the newlyweds. Brenda learned that Jax was definitely a morning person. Jax learned that Brenda loved to sleep in and she always rewarded him with a brilliant smile when he greeted her with a ready cup of coffee. Jax tended to discard his clothes as he undressed, but at Brenda’s scornful look, he would pick them up.

Jax’s confidence in his body image continued to get under Brenda’s skin. He thought nothing of parading through the master bedroom in his boxer shorts to get a shirt from the closet. She was still hiding in the bathroom to dress, but occasionally he caught her in a state of partial undress. He never seemed bothered by her bare skin. {So why am I so bothered by his?}

She also learned Jax was a toucher. He would softly caress her neck every morning when he handed her the coffee. He would stroke her cheek softly when he kissed her good-bye for a day at the office. When he pulled out her chair to eat supper, his hands would linger a little longer than normal on the chair back, only to lightly skim the sides of her body intimately.

Jax and Anthony were making the transition with ease. At first, Brenda wasn’t sure how Jax would adapt to finding a binky in his briefcase at an important board meeting, or having Anthony pitch a "coming close to the terrible two’s" fit while he was on an important phone call at home. But Jax seemed to adjust better than she did. He would spend time with Anthony every evening, either reading to him while she went through the mail, or playing with him in the back yard while she fixed supper. Jax went to a toy store and bought a small T-ball set, and he was determined to teach the toddler how to bat the ball. Most of the time, Anthony ended up sitting on the grass, trying to eat the ants, and chewing on the extra ball. Brenda watched them out the kitchen window one evening, and had to smile at how patient and loving Jax was with the baby.

One evening, he even volunteered to give Anthony his bedtime bath because Brenda was still tied up in a phone call to the coast on some new talent. Brenda agreed readily, but once Jax got upstairs, he realized that he didn’t know the first thing about giving the boy a bath.

When Brenda came upstairs later, she looked into Anthony’s room and found it empty. But she heard singing and laughing coming from somewhere in the vicinity. She finally peeked into the master bathroom and was rewarded with a sight that made her heart melt. Jax and Anthony were in the big tub together, and Jax was supporting him on his lap. As Jax carefully soaped the baby, he kept pushing a toy boat just out of Anthony’s reach with his big toe. Anthony was squealing in delight. Brenda held her breath for a moment when Jax seemed to feel her presence and turned around.

"Oops….we’re busted, tiger," he said sheepishly. "I hope you don’t mind, but this seemed like the quickest and safest way to get him clean."

Brenda eased her way into the bathroom and began breathing easier when she saw Jax had his swim trunks on. "He looks like he’s having a marvelous time," she said with a smile.

Jax’s eyes turned cloudy with passion. "After he’s clean and asleep, would YOU like to join me in here? I can guarantee that YOU would have a marvelous time, too." As Brenda took a deep breath to answer, the boat finally drifted into Anthony’s reach since Jax had been distracted. He pushed it down into the water, filling the well in it, and then picked it up and dumped it over Jax’s head, laughing hysterically.

Brenda had to stifle a giggle at the sight of Jax, his hair plastered to his head and spitting water out of his mouth. "I guess I got my answer, didn’t I?" he laughed, and then held Anthony high in the air, only to bring him down onto his lap with a splash.

Brenda left the room smiling. She was glad she escaped answering his question, since she wasn’t sure what the answer would have been. She felt guilty and ashamed, because she had been having more and more dreams at night about Jax. And they weren’t nightmares.

She returned to the master bedroom and closed the door, leaving Jax to manage Anthony since he was doing such a superb job. She went to the nightstand and opened the top drawer. Inside was a framed picture of Louie. She had considered putting it on top of the furniture, but felt she might hurt Jax’s feelings. But she had a right to still remember her first husband – her first love -- didn’t she? Holding the picture to her chest, she fell back on the bed. {Nights like tonight make honoring my vow to you harder and harder, Louie. Send me a sign – help me know what to do.}

*~*~*~*

The pressures on Brenda at home and at work continued to mount until she was primed to explode like a volcano. After several weeks, they had bubbled close enough to the surface to make Brenda want to scream.

She had had a bad day at L&B from the beginning. Some new talent that Lois had scouted signed with a competing label and sent their regrets with the morning mail. Eddie informed them that he wouldn’t be able to make half of the dates on the new tour Lois had set up due to difficulties at ELQ.

When Carly marched into Brenda’s office that afternoon to tell her that the copy machine had jammed again, she was already simmering. "Didn’t we just have the repair man out here?" she hissed.

Carly stepped back a few paces. "Yeah," she answered, but at Brenda’s glower, she re-phrased her answer. "Yes we did, Mrs. Jacks, but the thing jammed again."

"Call the service rep and get him over here pronto. Tell him I want to see him in person or I’m taking out a full-page ad in the PC Gazette accusing them of bad business tactics." Brenda slammed the pen down on the desk, only to have ink spurt on the files gathered there.

Carly recognized a bad situation and quickly left the office. Just then, Brenda’s phone rang on her private line. She practically pulled the phone out of the wall picking up the receiver."

"Hi, love, something wrong?" Jax’s cheerful voice came through the line.

She smiled acidly. "No, dear, nothing at all. What do you want?"

"Well, I thought since Anthony’s here at day care and my meeting ended early, I would bring him home myself. Thought I would save you the trip."

Brenda put her forehead in her hand. "Thanks, Jax. That’s probably the first good news I’ve heard all day. And it will really help since I forgot I don’t have anything to make for supper tonight. I’ll be able to stop at the market on the way home."

"You know, Brenda," he said gently, "you don’t have to be superwoman all the time. I told you we could hire a housekeeper to do the cooking anytime."

"BUT I ENJOY DOING IT SO MUCH!" Brenda practically bit his head off. She took a deep breath. "Just you bring Anthony home today and I’ll take care of the groceries. I’ll see you at home."

Three hours later, Brenda was beginning to doubt the wisdom of her decision. She had practically scared the copy machine repairman to death, and it turned out that the simple paper jam was really a defective belt in the motor that was back-ordered from the manufacturer for two weeks. Then, she arrived at the grocery store just in time to meet the rest of Port Charles. She stood in line at the check-out for 20 minutes while an elderly lady searched every nook and cranny of her purse for a coupon. Then, after she finally located it, the coupon turned out to be expired.

Brenda was at the boiling point when she got home. She had several bags of groceries, and usually Jax came out to greet her car as soon as he heard it pull into the garage. Standing next to her car, tapping her foot impatiently, she finally decided she had given him enough time, and she tried to balance two grocery bags, her briefcase, and the dry cleaning all in one trip to the house.

She heard noise in the back yard and went around to the back door, only to drop the dry cleaning on the path. Muttering a word that she hoped Anthony hadn’t heard, she went into the yard, and almost dropped her groceries at what she saw.

Jax was reclining in the hot tub, a beer at hand and reading the Wall Street Journal. Anthony was sitting on the redwood deck on a large piece of butcher paper, clad only in his diaper. That is – his diaper, and some kind of black, sticky goo that he was alternately smearing on the paper and his stomach. Jax was laughing as Anthony’s baby tape-recorder launched into another verse of "The Wheels on the Bus" and he joined Anthony in the chorus.

But then, Jax looked up and saw her. "Brenda, love, you’re home! I didn’t hear your car."

"Obviously," she muttered. "Not with the virtuoso performance going on back here." She shifted her weight, and the briefcase hit the ground. She stepped a few steps closer to Anthony and then gasped as he put his entire fist in his mouth to suck the black goo. "Jax! Aren’t you watching him? He’s …..he’s EATING that stuff!"

"Of course he is, love. It’s chocolate pudding," Jax replied with a dimpled smile. "Addie told me all about it today. It’s like finger painting, only it’s edible. She’s going to suggest it at the day-care center." Jax raised up just a bit and smiled at Anthony. "I think he drew a bus….since we were singing about it, you know."

Brenda was about to explode. "But he’s FILTHY!"

To her dismay, Jax giggled again. "He’s a boy, love. What do you expect? Besides, it’s only pudding. Addie says it’s good for children to express themselves artistically…."

Brenda put her hands on her hips. "Oh, really?" Jax pulled back, never having seen Brenda like this before. "And what does ADDIE say about how to clean them up?" She said the woman’s name with venom. "Or didn’t you and ADDIE include that in your little conversation about child-rearing?"

"Brenda," Jax said softly, "are you jealous? Of Addie?"

"No, DARLING," she spat, "I’m tired, and I’m standing here holding groceries that are melting as we speak. And obviously you’re too busy following ADDIE’s advice about Anthony to come help me." She turned to go in the house.

"I would have come sooner, Brenda, but I…" Jax started, but she whirled and cut him off.

"Oh, no, Jax, don’t bother. Maybe ADDIE can come carry these bags in for me!" Brenda started to go in, but then turned back for one more shot. "In fact, why don’t you call ADDIE and find out what SHE’s making for supper. Maybe I can get her recipe!"

As Brenda hurled that barb, Jax decided he had had enough. "OK, LOVE, I’ll be HAPPY to help you!" he spat back, and rose from the hot tub. His bare feet hit the redwood deck and he tromped on the path through the garden to meet her on the patio. He grabbed the bags from her, and gave her a look that could kill. He was dripping wet, and furious – and naked as the day he was born.

He carried them into the kitchen through the patio doors and set them down on the table. Then he went back out to the patio and picked up the dry cleaning and carried it into the kitchen. Brenda followed him sheepishly, and when he had set the dry cleaning down, he turned to face her with his hands on his hips. "Anything else, MADAM?" he said in a low voice.

Tears began to gather in Brenda’s eyes immediately. His naked form was beautiful. He had broad shoulders – that she already knew, but his hips were trim and his legs well-muscled. And Brenda had finally gotten to see what Lois had been so curious about for days now – and it was magnificent, too. She didn’t say a word, but let out one long sob and then ran to the master bedroom and slammed the door.

About an hour later, Brenda lay in the bed in the master bedroom with her old cotton duster on over some sweat pants. She had given in to a good round of crying, and then after she took a shower, curled up with a favorite book and continued to sniffle. But she couldn’t concentrate on the book. All she could think of was the sight of her naked husband. {Which are you more angry about, Brenda? The fact that you want him, or the fact that you’re furious with yourself for denying him for so long?}

Suddenly, she heard a knock at the door, and when she looked up, she had to giggle. The door had opened a crack, and a pair of Jax’s white silk boxers came through, attached to the handle of one of Anthony’s T-ball bats. The white flag waved in the air, and her giggle turned into a full-fledged laugh.

Jax’s blonde head poked through the door at the sound. "Do I need to send in the U.N. peacekeeping troops first?"

Brenda shook her head sadly. "No, come on in. The coast is clear."

As Jax entered the room, both he and Brenda spoke at the same time. "I’m sorry." Then, they looked at each other and smiled in unison. He came to sit next to her on the bed and put his hand on her thigh. "Had a bad day at the office, huh?"

"I’ve had better," she said softly, and began to play with the button on the duster. "But I shouldn’t have jumped down your throat like that. I was just tired, and disgusted after spending so much time at the grocery store, and I didn’t feel well, so…"

Jax interrupted her. "You’re sick? What’s wrong?"

She looked at him with her mouth in a grim line. "Not SICK."

She continued to give him a look that said "YOU know…" until he said, "Ohhhh, THAT." He chuckled to himself. "Guess it’s just something else I have to get used to, now that I’m a married man."

Brenda sighed. "I should have known – I’ve been so crabby all day, and I’ve been expecting it to start any day. I didn’t realize until I stormed out of the kitchen and came in here to take a shower."

Jax moved from the side of the bed to sit behind her, easing her into the V made by his legs and pulling her shoulders until her back rested against his chest. "Are you in pain?"

She sighed with contentment at the feel of his body against hers. "Some. I took some Tylenol. But it really just kind of has to wear off. Or I guess I could go get the heating pad. That helps sometimes."

Jax slid his hands around her to cup her lower stomach. The warmth of his hands soon began to seep into the sweat pants and she snuggled into his embrace. "That any better?" She nodded wordlessly, and then let out a small moan of relief.

Suddenly, she stirred. "Jax, do you have a sister you didn’t tell me about?"

"No," he said softly, kneading her stomach gently. "You know I told you there’s just one older brother. Why?"

She placed her hands over his. "Because…I wondered how you knew so much about this."

She could feel his chest move with his soft chuckle. "I paid close attention in Family Life class in high school, dear wife. I figured it never hurts to know all you can about the female anatomy."

She smiled in return. "Right… and that way, YOU can be the one to tell Anthony about the facts of life when the time is right." She waited for his reaction, and it didn’t take long.

"I have to tell him?" His voice was strained and muffled.

"Why not, dear?" she snickered. "Don’t guys tell boys and women tell girls?" She turned around just a little to see his face, and almost dissolved into laughter at his panic. "Or did your mother tell you?"

Jax relaxed and his hands kept up their slow massage. "Actually, I think it was my older brother who told me." He let out a long sigh. "So, I guess I’ll be the one to tell Anthony and then HE can tell his younger brothers."

Brenda froze for a moment at the thought of bearing Jax’s child. She decided to try to lighten the mood. "I’m sorry about acting like such an idiot about Addie earlier."

Jax smiled again and she could feel it. "That’s OK. I kind of liked it – the idea of you being jealous, you know. Although I have to admit that the reason Addie told me about the pudding painting was that she was talking about her grandchildren!" They both laughed together, and Jax’s hands inadvertently slipped a little higher to graze her breasts.

Brenda jumped and gasped a little. "Sorry," Jax said immediately. "Are they tender?"

She blushed just slightly. "A little." Then, when he went to move his hands lower, she surprised him by stopping his hands with hers. "But actually that made them feel better."

Now it was his turn to be surprised and silent. Without a word, he moved his hands back up again to cup her breasts. As he continued his attentions, he could feel her begin to breathe faster. "Where’s Anthony?" she asked breathlessly.

He leaned down to nibble on her earlobe from behind. "I brought him inside and took him in the shower with me. After I managed to get all the pudding off, I fed him his supper."

"Hot dogs?" she said, shifting her head to the side to allow him access to her neck.

"Um-hmmm," he answered, "without the buns. And I made sure he chewed each chunk completely. We shared three hot dogs between us – a chunk for him and then a chunk for me. I probably taste like mustard."

Suddenly, she surprised him again when her entire body flipped over in the bed so that she was laying on her stomach in the V of his legs. "Maybe I should taste you to find out," she said huskily, and proceeded to pull his head down to hers to give him a thrilling kiss. Her tongue softly traced his lips before she pressed her lips to his, her mouth open, her breath soft and warm. He was motionless for just an instant, but then immediately wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him.

As the kisses went on, Jax felt his head start to swim. She was soft and willing, and she felt so good in his arms. He shifted his body lower on the bed so that he was almost prone with her on top of him. Brenda could feel him beneath her, and it thrilled her and made her shift her position. She took one hand that had been wound around his neck and slowly moved it between their bodies, seeking him.

He moaned to feel her wanting him so much, but when he realized where her hand was going, Jax ended the kiss abruptly. "Brenda! Stop!" he wheezed. "Don’t move, my love." He looked into Brenda’s eyes, and they were confused and cloudy with passion.

"Jax," she said in a soft voice, "I don’t understand." She hesitated for just a moment, and then decided to go with her feelings. "I don’t want to stop. Don’t you want me?"

Jax closed his eyes and chuckled a little at the irony of it. He opened them again and saw her eyes beginning to fill with tears. He took one hand and wiped the tears away, and then stroked her cheek lovingly. "Brenda, my love, there’s nothing I want more than for us to make love." He took a deep breath, praying for guidance that he would say it just right. "And unlike some men, I don’t have any qualms about making love to my wife, no matter what time of the month it is."

As she took a breath to object, he put his finger to her lips, and traced them with it as he spoke. "But my love, when I make love to you for the first time, I want everything to be perfect. I want you to feel loved, and cherished, and treasured, as you deserve to be. I don’t want you to look back on it with any questions in your mind about if it was perfect for both of us. I don’t want you to regret it later because you made up your mind under the influence of some extra hormones. Do you understand?"

Brenda slowly nodded. She traced his face with her finger. "You’re pretty smart, do you know that Mr. Jacks?"

He smiled at her. "Remind me of that when I leave this bed and regret what I just said – especially after the very cold shower that I’m going to need, OK?"

He slowly disentangled his legs from hers and got up from the bed, caressing her hair with his hand and bending down for one more kiss. As he walked to the door to her room, she called to him.

"Jax?" He turned to face her, his need for her still very evident. "Thank you."

His hand was on the doorknob. "Brenda, I don’t think there will ever be anything I do that’s as hard as leaving you right now." He turned, but then paused a moment and turned back to her. "How long does this usually last?"

"About 4 days," she smiled.

"I’m counting on that, Mrs. Jacks. I’ll take that for a raincheck." He opened the door slowly and then closed it behind him.

Brenda snuggled into the bed. {I’m counting on it too, Mr. Jacks.}

To be continued…..

Author’s note: This is another one of those plot turns from the original book that always grabs my heart when I read it. I was going to try to paraphrase it into some other act of thoughtfulness on Jax’s part, but somehow I think all of us would like to think that a perfect husband like Jax would be there for us every month, bringing the Midol and heating pad. I had thought it might be a first in Jax fanfiction (Jax being compassionate to Brenda during her period), but then Lea beat me to the punch with Jax being considerate of Leanna in "Let Me Count the Ways."