Jax was holding Anthony in his right arm, and extended his left elbow to Brenda, as she prepared to walk down the short aisle in the Cerullo backyard. He looked breathtakingly handsome, and the smiling face of her son confirmed to her again that she was doing the right thing.

Just as she took his arm, Anthony lurched a little, and Jax let go of her to set him down on the ground. He ran for the buffet table that Gloria had set up in the rear of the yard near the patio doors.

"Shall we?" Jax asked a smiling Brenda, and she took his arm and Father Joe led them to the small podium that had been set up in a bower of flowers. Lois and Eddie walked after them and took their places at their sides as witnesses to the marriage.

Father Joe turned around to face them as he looked at the smiling faces gathered there. "Dear Friends, this is a happy occasion indeed…" he began.

At that moment, Anthony decided to let everyone know just how happy it was. He had been drinking juice from his tippy cup standing near the buffet table, but when he saw he was being left out of something important, he became very vocal about his displeasure. The guests all turned to see the cause of his unhappiness, and he began running for the podium, juice cup still in his hand.

When he got near the front, Gloria reached out to grab him, but Anthony would have no part of it. "Anthony, this is your mommy’s day! Isn’t she pretty?" Gloria attempted to distract him. She had her hands on his waist, but he wiggled like a greased pig to get loose. He began whining again, and pointing at Jax with his free hand.

Jax smiled at Anthony, and then turned to Brenda. "Do you mind if another man wants to share our happy moment?" She shook her head, and he walked back and leaned over to the toddler. "Come on, tiger. Let’s go get married." Anthony smiled a toothy grin at Jax and patted him on the cheek with the hand not occupied with the cup.

As Jax rejoined Brenda at the "altar," Anthony was nestled on Jax’s shoulder, his left arm around Jax’s neck, and his right hand still holding the juice cup, from which he took an occasional drink. Father Joe looked at him and smiled. "OK, then…now that we’re ALL happy on this occasion…" The guests laughed, and Anthony smiled and waved his cup in the air.

Father Joe went on to speak about the wonderful day and how two lives would be joined as one. It all was a blur to Brenda. Her mind kept drifting back to another wedding day, another happy occasion. She hoped she was doing the right thing, and not being unfaithful to Louie’s memory in some way.

Father Joe had to clear his throat to bring her back to the present. "I said," he said pointedly to Brenda, "repeat after me." She blushed, and looked down, but then looked up at Jax as she began to repeat the words.

"I, Brenda, take you to be my lawfully wedded husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and bad. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life." She repeated the words after the priest, and Jax’s eyes locked with hers. Anthony looked from Brenda, to Jax, back to Brenda again, and then took a long drink from the juice cup to fortify himself.

Father Joe then looked at Jax. "Repeat after me. I, Jasper…"

Jax blushed as there was a ripple of giggles in the crowd. He glanced down at Brenda, who was smiling in secret mirth. He began to speak, "I, Jasper…" Just then, Anthony punctuated the afternoon’s festivities with a loud belch.

Everyone burst into laughter. Even Father Joe had trouble not cracking a smile. Jax looked with a smile at Anthony, who had no clue why everyone was so happy with his burp. "I know, tiger," Jax said to him, loud enough for everyone to hear. "I hate it too. But it’s my name and I’m stuck with it. Just don’t let the news get around, OK?"

Jax then looked back at Brenda. "I, Jasper, take you to be my lawfully wedded wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and bad. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life." Brenda couldn’t take her eyes away from Jax’s as they seemed to look deeply into her soul.

They both turned back to Father Joe, who continued the ceremony with a prayer. He got to the exchange of rings, and Jax looked to Eddie, who handed him Brenda’s ring. Brenda held out her slightly shaking hand, and Jax managed to slip the ring on her finger while still holding Anthony. Brenda kept her eyes on him, never glancing down at the ring. A few minutes later though, her eyes moved down to it and she had to remember not to gulp so that everyone there could hear it. It was a beautiful eternity band of brilliant cut diamonds, with small pink sapphires interspersed. It sparkled like a miniature sun on her hand.

Just then, Father Joe was concluding the ceremony, and he smiled at the couple. "Ladies and gentlemen, may I present Mr. & Mrs. Jasper Jacks." He then leaned forward and whispered to them. "It’s usually customary for the bride and groom to exchange some kind of greeting at this point." Jax looked confused for a moment, and then smiled in understanding. "Kiss your wife, man!" Father Joe exclaimed, and Brenda laughed out loud.

Then her laughing stopped as Jax pulled her into his embrace, complete with Anthony. This man obviously didn’t know the meaning of a "little kiss." He sent her head spinning with a passionate kiss, and then raised his head to look into her eyes. "I love you so much, Mrs. Jacks. More than you’ll ever know."

Before Brenda could respond, Lois was shoving her aside. "Make way, make way – maid of honor and sort-of in-law coming through for her kiss from the groom. Make way!" Jax had to laugh at her enthusiasm.

He set Anthony down, and the toddler didn’t complain because he found a cricket in the grass that interested him more than grown-ups kissing. Jax grabbed Lois around the waist and bent her over backwards for an enthusiastic kiss. Lois was blushing brightly when she came back up, and Jax was still laughing.

There were more kisses and congratulations from all of the guests, and Brenda was surprised to see a table to the side filled with gifts. Music began to fill the air as Gloria put a CD on the player, and the entire yard was filled with the sounds of romantic music.

When Brenda turned around again, she was surprised to see her new husband standing in front of her with a glass of sparkling water. "I thought it might be a little early in the day to start with champagne," Jax said by way of explanation. "But I thought you might want something to drink." As they clinked glasses, Brenda’s ring caught the late afternoon sunshine and almost made her squint. Jax saw her eyes drop to it. "I hope you like the ring. I didn’t get you an engagement ring since we had such a short engagement. But I wanted you to have diamonds."

Brenda lowered her glass and put her left hand on Jax’s chest. "I love my ring," she said truthfully. "But you didn’t have to pick such an expensive ring, Jax. These are beautiful diamonds."

He looked down at the ring and chuckled. "Those diamonds have been in the family vault for years. Mum was so tickled that I was finally getting married that she Fed Ex-ed them down here so I could have the ring made."

"These were in your family’s vault?" Brenda gasped. "But Jax, you should have saved them…"

Jax took her hand and lifted it to his lips. "For whom, Brenda? You are the only wife I’ll ever have or want. I wanted you to have them."

Brenda almost couldn’t stand the intensity of his gaze. Her eyes dropped to the ground. "I feel so guilty now – I didn’t get you a ring. I wasn’t sure if you wanted one. Some men don’t wear them, you know."

{Louie never wanted one. He said he didn’t want to "go around sparkling."}

Jax smiled. "I don’t need a ring on my finger to feel married to you, Brenda." Then he chuckled. "Besides, maybe I’ll end up with a gold ring in my ear, or one in my navel instead! How do you think I’d look?"

Brenda flushed as the thought of Jax’s navel flashed through her mind. "I think an earring would make for very interesting discussions at your next board meeting," she said tactfully.

Gloria called everyone to start helping themselves to food from the buffet she had set up. Felicia had helped her with making the food, and Lois pronounced the canneloni superb – truly a work of art befitting the afternoon’s festivities. Carmine circulated taking pictures, and Brenda was amazed at how well Anthony and the Scorpio girls got along. The food table, gift table, and flower arrangements all survived the afternoon without being dumped over.

As the afternoon light was beginning to fade, Gloria got Lois aside and Lois pulled out a special stack of CD’s. Lois clapped her hands and announced to the crowd, "We want to play a special song for the newlyweds next, and we’d like them to dance to it for their first dance as man and wife." The mellow sounds of Nat King Cole’s voice filled the yard as Jax extended his hand to Brenda and they moved into one another’s arms.

Jax held Brenda close to him and she molded her body to his. She had taken off the lace jacket and he moved his hand restlessly up and down her back. During an instrumental interlude, he whispered in her ear, "I love the way this dress sounds."

Brenda looked up into his teal-colored, passionate eyes and giggled. "I never knew a dress could "sound.""

He nodded seriously. "It sounds like all kinds of interesting things are going on underneath. It makes me want to find out what’s making those sounds." He looked at her and it made her hold her breath. "I can’t wait to take you home and undress you, Mrs. Jacks."

Brenda hid her face on his chest to hide the blush. {That’s all I’ve been thinking about too – the end of the evening. How am I ever going to be able to share a bed with you and still keep Louie in my heart?}

The celebrating continued into the evening, and finally the Scorpio girls began to nod off in the lawn chairs scattered around the yard. Gloria and Carmine had strung beautiful Japanese lanterns in the yard, and they gave off a warm glow. Mac and Felicia said their farewells and picked up the sleeping children to take them home.

Anthony had fallen asleep long before that, and Brenda took him up to his bed quietly. She stood in the hall for a while, watching him sleeping. She almost jumped in surprise when Jax put his arms around her from behind.

"Lois and Eddie just left," he said quietly. "Carly stopped by for a minute to wish you congratulations and dropped off a gift. That means all the guests have gone, Mrs. Jacks."

Brenda decided to take the conversation in another direction. "I feel sorry for poor Eddie tonight," she chuckled.

"Why?" Jax asked, still behind her. He pushed her hair off her neck and bent forward to nuzzle it while they talked.

Brenda found it difficult to concentrate. "Because she says that weddings always put her in an amorous mood. I hope Eddie took his vitamin E today, because I have a feeling Lois will be very demanding tonight."

Jax raised his head a little, and then turned her to face him. "With a wife like you, who needs vitamin E to be amorous?" He lowered his lips to hers and pulled her against him for a tempting kiss. Her fingers curled into his hair and then lowered to his shoulders for support as her head began to swim. "Let’s go home, Mrs. Jacks," he whispered when the kiss finally ended.

She nodded wordlessly, and went down the stairs in front of him. Just then, Carmine and Gloria were coming in from outside with the last of the folding chairs.

Brenda seized the opportunity. "Mom! Pops! Here, let us help you with those."

Gloria looked at Brenda knowingly. "Not a chance, sweetheart. You go on home with your husband. Carmine and I have got everything almost cleaned up."

Brenda looked around desperately for an excuse. "Well…I guess I better get Anthony’s things together. I’ll just take a few things and we’ll get the rest tomorrow…."

Carmine looked confused, and then put his arm around Gloria. "But Brenda," he said, "Glo and I assumed you would leave Anthony with us tonight. You’ll be having such a short honeymoon as it is, we thought it was the least we could do."

Brenda looked back at Jax, but he was still smiling at her. She was hoping that having Anthony at the house with them would provide a distraction, but Gloria and Carmine saw through her. Jax went back over to the bottom of the stairs to pick up her overnight bag and lace jacket.

"Coming, Mrs. Jacks?" he said with charm. She smiled weakly, and then let him help her into the jacket.

They all went outside to Jax’s car, which Lois had made sure to festoon with pale pink balloons and streamers. Eddie had been worried about her leaving some kind of damage on the expensive car, but Lois promised to be careful. Jax just shook his head and smiled at the tradition.

As Brenda got in the car, she looked back at the Cerullo’s one more time. "You’ve got our number, now – in case Anthony needs anything?"

Carmine had his arm around Gloria. "We do, honey. Now you two go have your honeymoon!" Brenda was surprised at Carmine’s enthusiasm. He seemed to truly like Jax.

They rode to the house in relative silence, only punctuated by the car radio. Brenda and Lois had taken most of Brenda’s clothes over to the new house earlier in the week, and Brenda swore she had never heard Lois say the words "Oh, God!" so many times in the space of 10 minutes. Brenda’s clothes only filled a small fraction of the closet space in the new master bedroom she would be sharing with Jax.

{Not only a bedroom – a bed, too.} Her thoughts drifted to the hours ahead, and Brenda wondered how she would make it through them without defiling Louie’s memory.

*~*~*~*~*

Jax reached into his pocket to pull out the keys to the house. "I’ve got some extra keys inside for you," he smiled, and then opened the door wide and reached in to flip the light switch. When Brenda tried to walk past him through the door, though, he stopped her short and suddenly swept her into his arms.

"Isn’t it tradition for the groom to carry the bride over the threshold?" he asked with a grin, and then proceeded to do just that. She wrapped her arms around his neck for balance, and then as he got inside, he tapped the door with his foot and closed it.

Brenda was so petite that he could still hold her in his arms and reach down to lock the front door. Once the lock clicked home, he devoted all of his attention to her. "Welcome home, Mrs. Jacks," he said in a husky voice, and then proceeded to kiss her passionately. He shifted her so that she began to slide down his body, but only the tips of her toes touched the ground as the kiss went on.

He slanted his head from side to side, trying to kiss her as deeply as possible while still standing. She was gasping for breath as he didn’t even seem to need to come up for air. He finally let her slide down his body, and lifted his head to stare into her eyes. "Guess I’m getting a little carried away, aren’t I?" he asked. He kissed her tenderly. "After all, we’ve got all night to make love, and it’s much more comfortable in a bed than standing in our front foyer."

With that comment, he turned and dropped his keys on the hallway in the entrance hall. Brenda took a shaky breath and followed him. "Would you like something to eat or drink?" he asked over his shoulder.

Brenda followed him into the kitchen, which flooded with bright light when he flipped the switch. She was rattled a little when she saw him remove his jacket, and then undo the buttons on his shirt sleeves to roll them up past his elbows. Next he loosened the knot on his tie, and pulled it down to lay on his shirt. He opened the refrigerator, and as he pulled out a huge bottle of expensive-looking champagne, he began to unbutton his shirt.

Brenda stood there, rooted to the kitchen floor. She certainly wasn’t accustomed to him yet, much less him getting undressed in front of her. He walked towards her now, swinging the bottle of champagne and slowly undoing the remaining buttons of his shirt until the two sides parted to show his well-developed chest. Brenda couldn’t help remembering her dreams about that chest, and where the light furring of hair led, and she blushed.

Jax smiled at her and tipped her chin up to him. "Is that blush for me?" he asked in a pleased voice. He set the bottle of champagne down on the counter and slid both hands to the back of her waist. Her eyes now were less than 3 inches from his glorious pecs, and she raised them to look into his. His hands ran up and down her back, feeling the smooth silk of her dress.

"As much as I like this dress, I would like to see you out of it," he said huskily. He leaned down so that his mouth was only millimeters from hers. "I want to feel your bare breasts against my chest, love. I want to know what they feel like…what they look like….what they taste like." As she gasped at his words, he caught her again in a mind-numbing kiss.

He pushed her against the kitchen counter, and caressed her softness with the evidence of his arousal. As he broke the kiss, she opened her eyes and found him staring into her soul. "I’ll meet you in our bedroom in a few minutes. You can use the bathroom there while I close up and turn out the lights." She nodded mutely and took her overnight bag and purse and went to her destiny.

As she entered the bathroom, she flicked on the light and tried to shake the feeling of being in a passion-induced trance. She took off her wedding dress and hose and shoes like a robot, and took the filmy lilac peignoir set out of the bag. After she put it on and tied the satin ribbon under her breasts, she went to brush her hair and when she stared in the mirror, she dropped the brush.

The woman she saw reflected there was in love. Her hair was sexily mussed, and her lips were red and bruised from her lover’s attention. Her nipples were standing at attention, and there was an ache in her lower body that she remembered well. Brenda touched her finger to her lips and got a shock back to reality.

{You’re not in love. You’re just in LUST.} Brenda tried to reconcile her strong attraction to the man that had just nearly made love to her in the front hallway and kitchen of their house, and decided that it was just a physical thing. {As long as you keep it on that level, you’ll be OK. Just remember that he may have gotten under your skin and unlocked the secrets to your body, but he’ll never get into your heart. Your heart will always belong to Louie.} Brenda took a deep breath and felt better about herself. She would always remain Brenda Cerullo in her heart.

{But now you’re Brenda JACKS, and your husband’s waiting for you on the other side of that door.}

Taking a deep breath and turning out the bathroom light, she was shocked to find Jax already in the room, lighting candles on the chest of drawers. He turned at the noise, and she had to blink her eyes and remind herself to breathe when she saw him. He stood there, holding a burning taper, but then leaned over to purse his lips and blow out the flame. She realized that the flame hadn’t actually gone out – it had just been transferred to his eyes.

He walked slowly toward her, and she forced her feet to move towards him. He had on dark blue silk pajama bottoms, and his chest and feet were bare. The cord that held up the pajamas was tied in a knot near his navel, and the cord swung slowly back and forth as he walked. Her glanced dropped downward just for an instant, and she saw a network of scars criss-crossing his left foot. As she started following the one long scar up his ankle, he came to stand in front of her, and suddenly she was distracted.

He reached out with two fingers to pull the satin ribbon that formed the tie-closure of the robe. It fell open, and his eyes widened even further at her gown. It had a deep scoop neck, and just barely covered the tips of her breasts. He took the first finger of each hand and slid it gently under the sides of the robe to push it off of her shoulders. They both heard a gentle "swish" as the soft fabric hit the floor. His fingers remained at her shoulders, and as they trailed down her chest to her breasts, her eyes closed in anticipation. He followed the neckline of the gown, gently tracing it with just those two fingers, and her knees began to buckle.

Just as they did, he removed his hands and swept one strong arm under her knees to catch her into his arms. He lifted her effortlessly and carried her to the bed, where he knelt and placed her gently.

{Just your body, Brenda. Remember – he’s only going to master your body. Never your soul.}

As she kept repeating those words to herself, he lay beside her on the bed and began to kiss her shoulders, working his way up to her lips. "Open your eyes, love," he said in a shaky voice.

She did, and saw the fire of the candles reflected in the flickering lights in his eyes. His left hand moved down to slide over the soft fabric of her gown, seeking the heart of her softness. When he found it, she almost raised inches off the bed, arching her back into his chest. She grabbed his shoulders and made a sound that she later realized was her voice, moaning his name.

"I want you so much, Brenda," he murmured, nuzzling her breasts. "I thought I could never feel as weak as I did when I woke up in that hospital. But now – wanting you like this – it’s almost more painful than that." He lowered his lips to hers again, and began a deep French kiss that explored every inch of her mouth while his hand explored the rest of her.

{Let him take your body, Brenda. He’s your husband. He’ll never have your heart.}

Suddenly, Brenda felt Jax pull back from the kiss. She opened her eyes, and was surprised to see him, staring back at her, reclining on his elbow. The exploring hand had left her, and was now resting on his thigh instead. As she opened her eyes wide to take a better look at him, she realized the light of passion in his eyes had changed to something else.

"No, thank you, Mrs. Jacks," he said coldly, and she was ashamed to realize he saw through her.

"Jax…what do you mean?" she asked, trying to sound innocent.

He sat up straight on the bed and looked coldly at her. "I don’t accept mercy sex, thank you very much."

"Jax," she tried to explain, "it wasn’t like that…."

He leaned down again to take her chin between his fingers. "YES, it WAS, Mrs. Jacks. Believe me – I can tell when a woman is faking it. You were going through the motions, but your heart wasn’t in it."

"Jax," she said shyly, "you’re my husband now. It wouldn’t be right for me to refuse….I mean, you can demand…."

He sat down and pulled her up to a sitting position. "Demanding isn’t my style, if you haven’t guessed by now, Brenda." Then he pulled her so close she could feel his breath. "But understand me well – this won’t change for a minute the fact that I love you. I’ll never force myself on you. When we do make love – and we WILL – I want you to want it just as much as I do. Maybe more." He pushed her away a little, but still held her eyes locked with his. "And it will be MAKING LOVE – not just having sex."

He stood up and blew out the candles on the nightstand, turning on the bed lamp as he did. Brenda lay on the bed in a state of shock for a moment. As he went to the chest of drawers to blow out the candles there, she got up from the bed and stood in his path.

"Jax," she said quietly, "I’m sorry." He turned, and then came to stand in front of her. She cast her eyes down to the floor. "I just can’t….I mean, it’s hard for me to ..…."

He grabbed her arms and pulled her to him suddenly. "I should just make love to you anyway, and change your foolish mind. Why do you deny yourself the pleasure of letting my love in – letting me love you?"

He saw he was almost scaring her, and he relaxed his grip. Taking one hand, he tipped her chin up so that his eyes were burning her once more. "I love you more than life itself, Brenda. And with me loving you that way, after a while, you won’t have a choice but to love me back." He moved to within a fraction of an inch of her lips. "No one will ever love you as much as I do, Brenda. No man will ever make love to you as well as I will."

He released his grip on her arms and went to blow out the last candle on the chiffarobe. He turned back to her. "When you’re ready to let go of the past and love me the way I love you, let me know." Giving her one last smoldering look, he turned and went through the door to the hallway.

She stood frozen in place for a few moments until she heard the slam of the door of one of the other bedrooms. She then gave in to the tension of the day and the last few minutes, and crumpled to the floor, sobbing.

To be continued….

Musical note: "The Very Thought of You," by Ray Noble, sung by Nat King Cole.