CircleDance

Chapter 31

"Now, Brenda……" Jax tried to keep his voice calm as the menacing pair of headlights in the rear-view mirror appeared to be growing closer. "I know we’ve been through a lot tonight……"

"Jax……" Brenda stared straight ahead and her chin quivered. She gripped his arm tightly. "Jax, I’m not kidding. We *can’t* stay on this road." She inhaled shakily. "This road is where I died."

"Brenda, you can’t be superstitious." Jax glanced up at the rear-view mirror again and inhaled shakily. "I mean, what are the probabilities that another car will come along at the exact same place as where you got hit the las……"

"We didn’t get hit, Jax." Brenda continued to stare straight ahead with macabre fascination. "There was no other car involved." She took short breaths, trying to stay calm. "You probably can’t feel it, but this road angles upward. The climb starts getting steeper about a quarter mile from here. The road narrows to two lanes. Then about two miles beyond that, there’s…….." Her voice caught. "There’s a sharp turn to the right……" She swallowed hard. "If you don’t make the turnoff, it’s a 300 foot drop to the water."

Jax clearly heard the horror in her voice. He wished more than anything that he could take her in his arms at that moment and soothe her fears. But the headlights in the mirror kept gaining – slowly, but steadily. "Were you driving last time?" he asked softly.

"Yes. My mother……" She paused again to try to compose herself as she relived the horror. "My mother was hallucinating and had grabbed for the steering wheel, but Sonny had tampered with the car to make sure we never made that turn." Her face was grim. "That notebook that I found proved that he had the car fixed so that the brakes failed just at the right moment."

Jax dared to take his eyes off the road long enough to glance down at the dashboard. "Well, Sonny would never have expected us to take this limo, and I doubt that he’d let anyone tamper with anything on his own vehicle." He took his hand off the steering wheel gingerly to pat Brenda’s hand. "There’s nothing to worry about, sweetie. I’m going to get us out of this just fine."

She nodded and blinked back tears. "I know. It’s just….." Suddenly, there was a roar just behind them. Brenda turned around and gripped the passenger door handle for balance. "Jax? I thought…….wasn’t Sonny way behind us before?"

"He’s been slowly catching up since we left the main highway. He knows I can’t get up as much speed on this winding road." Jax’s voice was clipped and grim.

Brenda continued to stare back over her left shoulder. There was another loud sound of an engine revving, and Brenda turned back to Jax, her face pale. "Jax – he’s pulling even with us!"

"Make sure you’re buckled in, Brenda!" Jax had to shout to be heard about the roar of the two engines combined. "Looks like we might be in for a bumpy ride!" The SUV seemed to fall back a little and Brenda felt the limo shudder and sway. Jax swore loudly. "D*mn!! We must have hit an icy patch!!" His arms trembled with the effort to keep the limo steady as the road narrowed to two lanes. A metal guardrail was barely visible out Brenda’s window.

Brenda held her breath as the SUV roared forward again. It crossed the centerline of the road and pulled even with the limo on Jax’s left. She peered around Jax just in time to see Sonny glance out the passenger side of the SUV and give her a malicious smile. Seconds afterward, Sonny jerked the steering wheel to the right sharply.

"JAX!!" Brenda screamed and lunged away from her door. "He’s going to ram us!" The words were no sooner out of her mouth than there was a screech of metal and the limo swerved towards the guardrail.

"Hang on, sweetie!!" Jax held the steering wheel tightly and pressed down hard on the gas. "I’m going to try to pull ahead of him again!"

But Sonny kept pace with the larger vehicle. Brenda screamed again as he jerked the SUV towards the limo. "JAX!! He’s trying to force us off the road!!"

Jax kept glancing out his window, throwing murderous looks at Sonny. The steering wheel was shuddering in his hands as he attempted to hold his position on the twisting road. Brenda braced her right hand on the dashboard and her left on the seat behind her as Jax kept swerving away from Sonny. When the SUV smashed into the limo again, she screamed loudly. "JAX!!"

When he managed to get the limo under control again, Jax chewed on his lower lip. "I’ve got an idea," he shouted, glancing over towards Brenda. "Sit back in your seat and hold on tight – I’m going to try something."

Brenda nodded wordlessly. She settled back in her seat and yanked once on her seatbelt to tighten it. After stretching her legs out in front of her and taking a deep breath to try to relax, she closed her eyes. "OK – do it!"

Jax gritted his teeth. "Hang on!!!" Just as Sonny was about to swerve sharply to the right again to ram them, Jax took his foot off the gas pedal. He hit the brakes, pumping them to avoid spinning out on the icy road. Sonny and the SUV shot off ahead of them as the limo slowed unexpectedly. "It worked!" Jax shouted.

Brenda looked around behind her. "How quick can you turn this boat around on this narrow road?"

"Not quick enough." Jax’s voice was grim. He peered into the distance through the windshield as the limo idled in place. "I’ve got another idea. Get out of the car."

Brenda quickly unbuckled her seatbelt. "What are we going to do now?"

Jax tightened and loosened his grip on the steering wheel nervously. "I’m going to try something. YOU’RE going to get out and hide in the bushes over there." He nodded towards some foliage about 10 yards to the right.

"Ohhhhhh, nooooooo," Brenda argued. She reached for her seatbelt to re-buckle it but Jax slapped her hand away. "No way I’m getting out of this car if you’re not coming with me……"

When she reached for the seatbelt again, Jax grabbed her hand and turned to her. "It’s our only chance, sweetie," he pleaded. She could see the tears glinting in his eyes. "Besides, this way…..if this doesn’t work and Sonny……..if something happens……well, Jon won’t lose both of us……" Jax’s voice broke with emotion.

Both of them suddenly turned when Sonny’s headlights glared in their eyes. "Jon isn’t going to lose either one of us, honey," Brenda shouted. She opened her door and Jax could now see the tears in her eyes, too. "You’re going to be fine – I can feel it." She cupped the side of his face and managed a weak smile. "Just don’t forget to come back and pick me up – it’s a long walk back – OK?"

Jax’s soft laugh sounded like music to her ears. "OK." He leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. "I love you, Brenda Barrett Jacks," he whispered huskily.

"And I love you too," Brenda pledged back to him. "With all my heart."

"I know that." Jax took a shaky breath and then managed to wink at her. "Now get the cluck out of here, OK?"

Brenda scrambled out of the car and ran towards the dark cover of the bushes as Jax had instructed. She managed to crouch down and turned back to see what was happening just as Sonny’s car came barreling towards the limo. Covering her mouth with her hands, Brenda blinked away tears so she could see.

Suddenly the limo lurched forward towards the SUV. They appeared to be on a collision course – Brenda was reminded of the games of "chicken" that some of the fraternity idiots had played when she attended PCU. At the last moment, the limo swerved, sending the large rear-end of it sideways. Sonny apparently had tried to change course at the last minute, too. But he couldn’t avoid hitting the limo, which ended up almost horizontally blocking the narrow road. As the SUV bore down on it, Brenda barely caught sight of Jax jumping out the driver’s side door.

The sound of screeching brakes split the night air. Brenda saw the SUV turn to the side, but the front right side still collided with the rear of the limo. There was a horrific crash, but when the smoke cleared, most of the damage was to the limo. She squinted and saw Sonny still sitting in the driver’s seat of the SUV. When she looked off into the distance, she caught sight of Jax, crouching behind some bushes on the opposite side of the road.

Sonny opened the door of the SUV but didn’t get out. Instead, he stood straight up on the running board. The moonlight glinted off the gun in his hand. He scanned the area and Brenda held her breath when he looked towards the bushes where she was hiding. But then, she almost screamed out loud when she heard Jax yelling at Sonny from the opposite direction.

She rose just in time to see Sonny get back into the SUV. He backed it up as Jax ran towards the summit of the road. "JAX – NOOOOOO!" Brenda forgot all of his instructions to her when she saw where he was heading. She fought back tears as she ran towards Jax – and the spot where her car had gone off the cliff some four months earlier.

When Jax saw Brenda running towards him, he waved at her angrily. Then suddenly, all of his attention was focused on the SUV roaring towards him. He turned and put on burst of speed as Sonny closed the distance between them. As he looked over his shoulder and saw Sonny’s maniacal grin, Jax fell to the ground and rolled sideways, tucking his body into a ball. The SUV thundered past him on the left.

Brenda covered her mouth with her hands and screamed Jax’s name again. When she saw the SUV go past him, she dropped to her knees in relief. Jax raised his head and waved at her again. "BRENDA!! GET OFF THE ROAD!! DON’T GIVE SONNY A TARGET!!"

She barely managed to pull herself to her feet when she heard the SUV’s engine revving again. Brenda scrambled off on the shoulder of the road and watched in horrified fascination as Sonny took aim at Jax again. "No…….no……" She muttered to herself as Jax got to his feet and ran to the very spot where her mother’s car had broken through the guardrail four months earlier.

Jax took a deep breath. He knew that he only had one chance for his plan to work. {You seem to have had a hand in my life for a long time now, God. If You ever wanted me to be happy, help me now.}

The glare of the SUV’s headlights forced Jax to squint as it took dead aim at him. Sonny was obviously so intent on killing Jax that he wasn’t thinking clearly. With Jax standing just in front of the guardrail and Sonny speeding towards him, there was no way the SUV would be able to stop in time.

Brenda screamed Jax’s name over and over. Then suddenly, she caught her breath and wiped her eyes to clear the tears. He wasn’t standing still anymore. He was running directly TOWARDS the SUV. "JAX!! DON’T…….."

Saying one more silent prayer, when the SUV was only about five feet in front of him, Jax dove onto his stomach. The icy road provided him with a sliding surface. Pushing his arms straight out in front of him and ducking his head, he glided beneath the SUV between the wheels. The screeching of the brakes temporarily deafened him.

Brenda had to cover her head when the crash came. She remembered seeing Jax dive beneath the wheels of the car and the sound of Sonny’s anguished scream. Dizziness overwhelmed her as the metal guardrail gave way to the second vehicle within six months. She covered her ears against the loud crashing noise but then, there was no explosion – and no loud splash. When the silence came, she dared to open her eyes.

The first thing Brenda saw was Jax’s body. He lay prone on the road about twenty feet from the edge of the cliff. Brenda didn’t remember screaming his name as she ran towards him. She expected to find the road puddled with his blood. Instead, just as she came close enough to see his face, Jax raised his head wearily. The weak smile he gave her brought her to her knees again at his side. "JAX!! YOU DID IT!"

Jax coughed once and attempted to sit up. "Is he…..where’s……"

Both Jax and Brenda’s attentions were suddenly drawn to the SUV. It hadn’t gone over the side of the cliff. Instead, it dangled precariously on the guardrail. The front wheels hung suspended in mid-air while the rear wheels spun against the crumbling metal barrier. As Jax clutched Brenda to him, the smoke cleared and they could see Sonny. He was sitting in the front seat of the SUV. And he was alive.

"Brenda……" Jax tried to pull her towards him. "We have to get out of here……"

They seemed to be frozen in time and space. As Jax and Brenda watched, Sonny reached over to the seat next to him. When he turned back towards them, he was aiming his handgun directly at Brenda. The SUV lurched again and Sonny screamed. One rear wheel broke through the barrier, causing the SUV to rock back and forth. But then, he gripped the weapon’s butt tightly with both hands, steadying his aim. With one last anguished roar, Sonny squeezed the trigger.

Time seemed to shift gears again. There was a loud tinkling sound as the bullet broke the back windshield of the SUV. The guardrail whined and then buckled as the fourth wheel of the SUV broke through it. Brenda heard Jax calling her name. She felt his arms go around her like grappling hooks and pull her to the pavement next to him. She heard the bullet whiz past her head. And then – she heard what she had missed earlier. There were several loud crashes, ten seconds of silence, and then a thunderous explosion.

Jax threw his body over Brenda as tiny rocks and flaming sparks rained down on the road around them. A few seconds later, he dared to raise his head. Brenda pushed up from beneath him. "Jax – is he…….is Sonny……."

"The SUV went over the side, Brenda." Jax helped Brenda to a sitting position next to him on the road. He pushed the hair tenderly back off her forehead. "The kickback from the gun firing must have given it just enough momentum to break through the guardrail completely."

Suddenly, Brenda jumped to her feet, looking towards the broken guardrail. "I have to see……..I have to be sure………"

Jax ran after her as Brenda sprinted towards the spot. "Brenda, no!" He caught up to her just as she reached the summit and tried to catch her in his arms. "Don’t look, sweetie! It won’t be pretty!"

Brenda wrenched out of his arms and turned to him. "I HAVE to, Jax! I just……..I WANT to see what happened!"

Jax nodded reluctantly but then held Brenda tightly as they both peered over the edge of the cliff. Brenda caught her breath at the sight. The SUV hadn’t had the momentum that her mother’s car had. Instead of arching gracefully out towards the water in a swan dive, it had gone straight down the side of the cliffs. There was a huge fireball beneath them. As they watched, another loud pop broke the silence and there was another small explosion of flame.

"I don’t think there’s any way Sonny could have survived it, Brenda," Jax whispered. He took her into his arms. "He won’t be bothering us anymore."

Brenda rested her head against Jax’s chest. The faint sound of sirens could be heard in the distance. She snorted softly. "It’s kinda spooky, but I know what’s happening to Sonny right now, Jax." She stared off into the night sky. "He’s probably watching us…….and then he’ll go to this amazing garden with this crystal bridge……" Jax tipped her chin up to face him. "But he won’t get a second chance, Jax." She threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. "Is it REALLY over now?"

Jax rested his chin on Brenda’s hair as the flashing lights of emergency vehicles could be seen in the distance approaching the site. "It’s REALLY over, love. Finally." As he held her in his arms, rocking her tenderly back and forth, crooning softly to her, stroking her hair with his hand, Jax lifted his eyes skyward. {Thank You – for helping me to understand; for bringing us through this safely; for sending her to me.}

The roar of the fire trucks’ engines and whining sirens of the ambulances almost drowned out the soft sound of a woman’s voice that echoed through Jax’s brain.

{You’re welcome.}

 

Epilogue

Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday dear Jonathan,

Happy birthday to you………

Flashbulbs exploded and there was a loud round of cheering as one-year-old Jonathan Jasper Jacks leaned forward and blew out the candle on his birthday cake. He was guaranteed success, with Brenda standing on one side and Jax on the other, both adding their discreet efforts to extinguishing it.

That task accomplished, Brenda handed a gaily-wrapped package to the birthday boy. Thomas came over to the table to retrieve the large decorated sheet cake and take it inside where it could be sliced into smaller pieces. He picked up the cake and then glanced heavenward, giving thanks once again for the beautiful California sunshine that lit the birthday celebration.

"Well, I thought maybe you managed to trip and land with your face in the cake." Charles’ acid tone greeted Thomas as he carried the cake inside the kitchen. "I *told* you I would be more than happy to help you carry that thing."

"And I *told* you that I could manage it by myself," Thomas retorted. He set the cake down on the kitchen counter and picked up a stack of clear crystal plates as Charles grabbed a large knife. "And remember not to cut the pieces too small. There’s another cake down in the freezer if we run out."

"I’m well aware of that fact," Charles snarled haughtily. He sliced into the cake after removing the candle in the center. "My goodness – the way you talk, it makes me sound like I’m a complete imbecile." Thomas just mumbled something under his breath in the Aboriginal tongue and Charles rolled his eyes. "Perhaps you forget," Charles added under his breath, "that *I’m* the reason we’re all here together today……."

Thomas set down the plate he was holding in anticipation of a piece of cake with a loud thunk. "YOU’RE the reason we’re here today?" He threw up his hands. "Silly me! I thought we were here because it’s Master Jon’s first birthday!"

Charles made a "let’s get back to work" gesture towards the plates with the knife. "That’s not what I mean." He slid a piece of cake smoothly onto a plate as Thomas held it. "I mean *I’m* the reason we’re all here today and happy……." Thomas arched an eyebrow at him skeptically. "I mean, Jax and Brenda wouldn’t be together and happy if it wasn’t for ME…….."

"YOU??!!" As Thomas set the plates down again, the crystal tinkled ominously. "YOU’RE the reason Mr. Jax and Mrs. Brenda got back together?" As Charles nodded wisely, Thomas chuckled and stared down at the cake. "Um……I don’t think so……."

"Lest you forget," Charles snorted, "*I* was one of the first people to notice the change in Mrs. Brenda after she came home from the hospital." He picked a sugar rose off the cake and held it up to admire it hungrily. "*I* was one of her first friends."

"And *I*," Thomas retorted, snatching the rose out of Charles’ hand, "was the one who helped Mr. Jax cope with who Mrs. Brenda really was!" He popped the rose into his mouth triumphantly.

"Master Jon can’t say your name yet." Charles lifted his eyebrows proudly.

"He can’t say yours neither!!" Thomas set his hands on his hips, clearly throwing down the gauntlet.

Suddenly, Charles’s face lit with pleasure. He picked up several plates to carry outside but when he got to the kitchen door, he turned back with a smug smile. "The DOG likes me best."

On cue, Trouble came dashing into the kitchen. He struggled to come to a stop, sliding on the tile floor. But then, when he spied Charles in the doorway holding the plates of cake, his tail rose proudly behind him. It waved like an ostrich feather as he pranced towards the smiling butler. Charles gave Thomas one more "I-told-you-so" look and then turned and left the room. As he did, Thomas turned back to the cake and started cutting it again. But he glanced towards the departing duo, he muttered beneath his breath, "Traitor."

Mother Nature’s birthday gift to Jonathan Jasper Jacks was an absolutely perfect Southern California afternoon. As the sun headed for the horizon, the party guests started meandering back towards the lanai for cake and coffee. John Jacks leaned down to ruffle Trouble’s fur as Jane held a wiggling Jonathan on her lap. A very pregnant Lois sat next to Robin looking at a book of fabric samples for the new baby’s room. Jerry, meanwhile, had been relegated to lifeguard as Brooke was anxious to show off her skills in her new inflatable "wimmin pool."

Brenda bent over to pick up more discarded wrapping paper when she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Need some help with that?" She looked up and flashed a brilliant smile. "Isn’t that what older sisters-slash-aunts are for?"

Brenda handed some of the torn ribbons to Julia and groaned as she straightened up. "My back is killing me," she muttered, putting her hand to the small of her back. "How am I ever going to be able to do this when Jon turns 10 if I’m a wreck already?"

Julia rubbed Brenda’s back affectionately. "You’re not a wreck." She put her arm around Brenda’s shoulders. "You’re just tired and relieved that the weather cooperated for the party." Brenda nodded and her head drooped forward on her chest. "And," Julia continued, turning Brenda to face her, "I have a feeling that deep down, you’re a little sad ……"

Brenda smiled ruefully. "I was really hoping that daddy would come today." She played with the drawstrings of her full-length, gauze sundress.

Julia cupped Brenda’s shoulders with her hands and squeezed. "He’ll come around, Brenda. It just takes time." She laughed softly. "And if you remember correctly, I wasn’t exactly too receptive the first time you told me the truth about……..about YOU."

And the seasons, they go round and round

And the painted ponies go up and down

We’re captives on the carousel of time………

Brenda’s laugh joined with Julia’s to float gently out over the waves that were breaking on the sandy beach. "I remember! I think you accused me of being some kind of door-to-door saleslady for the Psychic Friends Network!"

After settling the details of Sonny’s death with the PCPD, Jax and Brenda had returned to Malibu for some much-needed rest and recuperation. However, only a few weeks later, they made a trip back to Port Charles. Jax went with Brenda and held her hand as she painfully tried to convince Julia of her true identity. Julia was openly hostile and ridiculed the possibility at first. But slowly, over time and with the evidence piling up before her eyes, Julia had come to accept and even be grateful for the turn of events.

During the next few months, Jax and Brenda had slowly revealed the truth to the rest of Jax’s family. Many of them – particularly Jerry -- had the same cynical reaction at first. Brenda still wasn’t sure if he really believed what had happened or still clung to the explanation that she had just had a "change of heart" after her "death experience." She really didn’t care. As long as everyone knew that she wasn’t "that other Brenda" anymore, she was happy.

The two sisters-at-heart hugged. When she pulled back, Julia rubbed the sides of Brenda’s arms with her hands. "You know," she whispered, "I think daddy’s still coming to grips with all of it." She chewed on her lower lip. "He told me the other day that he caught himself resenting the fact that he got his daughter back but not his wife."

Brenda caught her breath and tears formed in her eyes. "Thanks – for telling me." She suddenly looked over Julia’s shoulder and then grinned wickedly. "Don’t turn around ….."

Jax’s voice drifted towards them on the warm late afternoon air. "But there’s no other explanation for it, old man. You just have to accept it."

"I will NEVER believe it, my friend," Stefan Cassidine insisted incredulously. "It’s……it’s PREPOSTEROUS!! Things like that do NOT happen in the real world."

Brenda’s dark hair brushed Julia’s blonde tresses as the two sisters turned to face the men. They clasped their hands behind their backs and did an admirable job of hiding their giggles. "Is ……uh…….is something wrong, honey?" Brenda asked innocently.

Jax wrapped his arm around Stefan’s shoulders. "It seems, sweetie, that Stefan is not willing to accept the fact that Julia beat him at tennis yesterday because she’s a better player than he is."

Stefan folded his arms across his chest imperiously and stuck out his chin. "It is simply NOT within the realm of possibility." Jax, Julia, and Brenda all covered their mouths to hide their smiles. "It HAD to have been a fluke."

"A fluke! Obviously – that’s what it was!" Julia offered with mock seriousness. "Or a VERY large hole in your racket, Stefan!" she added, collapsing into a fit of laughter as Jax and Brenda joined her.

"There is only one solution here, as I see it," Stefan announced when the laughter had died down. He walked over towards Julia and pushed Brenda to stand next to Jax. "We will have to play a re-match at the earliest possible opportunity."

Julia shrugged. "I’m here for two weeks." She blushed slightly and stared down at the ground.

Stefan finally smiled. "Excellent! We shall play again tomorrow morning." He extended his arm to Julia in a very courtly fashion. "Now, dear lady, perhaps we should again investigate the condition of the tennis court – to make sure that we are BOTH satisfied that it meets our high standards."

Julia nodded, again putting on a serious face. "I agree!" She linked her arm through his and then grinned happily at Brenda as the two walked away.

Jax slid an arm around Brenda’s waist and shook his head. "You know – there’s one thing you have to say for Stefan……" Brenda looked up at Jax. "He even makes hitting on your sister with a tired old pick-up line sound classy!"

Brenda snuggled against Jax’s side as they watched Stefan and Julia make their way towards the tennis courts. "Don’t they look perfect for each other?"

Jax hesitated and then turned Brenda to face him. "No, sweetie – Stefan and Julia look *good* together." He clasped his arms around her back and pulled her flush against him. "WE’RE perfect for each other."

We can’t return, we can only look behind

From where we came

And go round and round and round

Brenda smiled her agreement as Jax lowered his lips to hers. She pressed her breasts against his chest and was pleased when she heard him groan in pleasure at the sensation. Just as Jax slipped his tongue between her lips, they were interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat awkwardly. "Um……excuse me, Mrs. Brenda……"

She rested her head against Jax’s chest with a smile. "No problem, Thomas." Giving Jax a "don’t-forget-where-we-left-off" look, she turned to the blushing houseman. "What do you need?"

"I’m so sorry to interrupt you, but we’re ready to serve the birthday cake and coffee on the lanai." He lowered his voice and leaned towards Brenda. "Mrs. Jane says Master Jon is getting crabby and probably needs to head for bed soon."

"MISTER Jax is getting crabby and needs to head for bed soon, too," Jax whispered in Brenda’s ear. He held her in his embrace as he spooned her from behind.

She slapped his hand playfully as he nuzzled her neck. "Thanks, Thomas. Go ahead and start pouring the coffee. Jax and I just need to gather up some of these gifts before we move the party inside for the night." Thomas nodded and turned to do as he was told. Brenda pulled out of Jax’s embrace and then sighed loudly as she turned back to the boxes and wrapping that were scattered over the lawn. As she started to stack some of them up, Jax crouched down next to her.

"Why don’t you go on up to the lanai and let me get these, sweetie?" He stroked the hair back off her face lovingly. "I heard you up early again this morning."

"Dummit." Brenda flushed a little and straightened up, putting a hand on Jax’s arm for support. "I thought I was being quiet enough that I wouldn’t disturb anyone."

"It wasn’t that you were *disturbing* me." He took the presents from her and set them down on a lawn chair. Then he held her hands in his. "I made up my mind there and then – I’m taking you to see Dr. Mueller the first thing tomorrow morning."

Brenda frowned. "Dr. Mueller? The neurologist? Why should I go see him?"

"It’s been a year since you……well, since you flat-lined, Brenda." Jax cupped the side of Brenda’s face and stroked her cheek with his thumb. "I think we should make sure that there weren’t any ill effects from all of that. I mean……" He shrugged his shoulders. "……what other explanation could there be for you feeling so lousy lately? You’ve been tired, yet you haven’t been able to sleep well……..you’ve been moody…….your appetite seems to have gone to mell in a handbasket……"

Brenda grasped Jax’s hand and smiled beatifically. "Jax…..I don’t need to see Dr. Mueller. I went to see Dr. Fielding, and he says that I’ll be fine."

Jax’s eyes widened. "Dr…….Dr. Fielding?"

She nodded. "Uh-huh. He says I should be feeling much better and all the symptoms should be gone in about 8 months."

"Brenda…….are you trying to tell me……..are we……." Jax was grinning broadly and he could barely catch a breath.

"Wellllll….." Brenda drawled, "I just thought that since I already know what the labor part is like, I should try the first nine months……just to see what I missed the first time around!"

Everyone on the lanai turned towards them when Jax let out a loud whoop of joy. He clasped his arms around Brenda and twirled her in the air until she was breathless and begging him to stop. "JAX!! Put me down!!"

He finally set her down in front of him. "A baby – one that will be really OURS this time, Brenda!" Jax shrugged his shoulders. "I just can’t help but feeling ………" Suddenly, his face paled. "Oh, my God……."

"Jax – what’s the matter?" She raised panic-filled eyes to meet his. "You……you want this baby, don’t you?"

"Of COURSE I want this baby!" He gave her a quick kiss and then took a shaky breath. "It’s just that……well, I can’t help but worry, Brenda. What if something happens during the delivery? Like the last time? I couldn’t bear it if you left me……."

Brenda placed her fingers against Jax’s lips with a smile. "Nothing’s going to happen, Jax." She wrapped her arms around his waist. "You’re stuck with me, I’m afraid – Brenda Barrett Jacks." Brenda raised her eyes towards the skies as the family gathered on the lanai started making their way towards the lawn to see what the commotion was. "You know, momma told me something -- right before the accident. She told me that it was a shame I never had a real friend, or was loved the way I deserved to be loved."

Jax returned Brenda’s peaceful smile. "I think she knows that you’ve found that now, sweetie. I’m sure she’s looking down on you now and is happy that you’ve finally got a life with true friends and family."

As Brenda turned out of Jax’s embrace, she was enfolded in Jane Jacks’ loving arms. John Jacks rubbed her back warmly while holding his grandson. One by one, each member of the family came to congratulate Brenda and Jax on the new baby. They formed an impromptu circle on the lawn as the sun slipped behind the horizon. Brenda stared into each of their faces and felt her breath catch in her throat. "Could we all join hands, please……" She raised her eyes towards the clouds as everyone clasped hands, lifted them to shoulder-level, and closed their eyes. "Thank you, God -- for this beautiful life."

Jax echoed her sentiment, as did each member of the circle after her. "For our beautiful life – and the life to come."

And the seasons, they go round and round

And the painted ponies go up and down

We’re captives on the carousel of time

We can’t return we can only look behind

From where we came

And go round and round and round

In the circle game

And go round and round and round

In the circle game.

 

The End

Music Credit: "CircleGame," music and lyrics by Joni Mitchell

Thanks to everyone for their wonderful feedback during this story. It’s been one of my favorites to write and I’ll miss it. Special thanks to Lea for spending an hour on a Sunday afternoon IM-ing with me, trying to figure out how the cluck I was going to get this story across without everyone saying, "HUH?????"