Jax glanced up at Jon, who was still sleeping peacefully with his back nestled against Brenda’s pillow. Then he looked back at Trouble, who was barely peeking from beneath the bed. "Trouble!" he hissed. "Come out here!"

Trouble eyed Jax warily. As he scooted farther back under the bed, Jax realized that the dog thought he was going to be punished. "No!" Jax put out a hand to Trouble and managed to smile at the furry scavenger. "Come on out," he urged, patting the floor with his hand playfully. "Come on – I’ll play a game with you."

Trouble inched his way towards Jax. When he was within his reach, Jax grabbed the dog by his collar and pulled him towards his lap. "That’s a good dog," Jax murmured, rubbing his fur absently. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the scrap of paper. He was drawn to the word in red again and caught his breath when he noticed the large arrow drawn between the handwritten accusation and a name in the text of the article.

{Sonny Corinthos? A murderer? Could it be the same man? It HAS to be – how many other men named Sonny Corinthos could there be in the world? But why does Brenda have this folded piece of paper in her closet? Why would SHE think that Sonny is a murderer?} Questions whirled in Jax’s brain and he knew the only solution was to find the entire article and get all the details. He gazed deeply into Trouble’s eyes and sighed. {If only you could talk……}

Trouble started to wriggle in Jax’s grasp, anxious to collect on the promise of playtime. Jax held him as tightly as possible and leaned down to whisper to him. "Where did you find this, Trouble?" He held the scrap of paper up to the dog but then shook his head and swore softly. {What did you expect, Jax? The dog can’t exactly answer you…..} He took a deep breath and then decided to try a different tack.

Jax reached for the shoe where the paper had been hidden. "Find more shoes like this one, Trouble. Go find Mommy’s shoes." He held the shoe up to Trouble’s nose. The dog sniffed at it happily and only hesitated a split second before prancing away, his tail held high in the air. Jax followed as he headed for the walk-in closet. He glanced back towards the bed to make sure that Jon was still sleeping and then went inside, turning on the light.

Trouble was tunneling into a large stack of shoeboxes in the back of the closet by the time Jax arrived on the scene. His head was buried amidst lids and tissue paper. Only his furry rear end was visible as it wiggled with the effort to pull out more "treasure." Jax suppressed a laugh as he watched the little criminal suddenly pop out of the stack and land with a thud on his butt and hind legs. But when he turned to Jax, the dog was proudly holding the matching high heel to the one that held the first scrap of paper.

Jax caught his breath and walked slowly over to the dog. "That’s a good dog," he crooned softly. "Now give Daddy the shoe……" Putting his large body between Trouble and the door of the closet, Jax assured himself of victory this time. The dog eyed him cautiously and was about to dart between his legs when Jax reached out and grabbed the shoe from his mouth. Trouble thought it was all a game and pranced around Jax happily. But when Jax put his hand inside the shoe and it came back empty, he didn’t share his playmate’s joy.

He crouched down next to the pile of shoeboxes. "Where did you find that shoe, Trouble?" Jax pushed aside some boxes as Trouble nudged his way under his arm and sniffed some of the discards. He tried to make it easier for the small dog and when Trouble’s tail started wagging, Jax suspected they were getting closer. The dog started to shake all over and his tail was going faster than a broken metronome. When Jax touched one particular box and Trouble yipped softly, he held his breath. He pulled the box out and removed the lid to find several folded papers, the top one mangled and torn.

"Got it!" Jax ruffled the fur on top of Trouble’s head. "Good dog!" Jax never thought about the fact that he was praising the puppy for tearing apart Brenda’s closet. He shifted his weight where he was and sat Indian-style on the floor, his back braced against the wall of the closet, as he opened the folded sheets. Trouble soon lost interest in the game and pranced away as Jax’s eyes first widened, then narrowed with a frown.

The entire article was some kind of obituary. Jax turned the paper over and decided it must have been printed from the computer, since it wasn’t an original. The words "Port Charles Herald" jumped out at him – making it obvious that it WAS the same Sonny Corinthos. He took the mangled corner of the article that Trouble had stashed in his treasure trove and pieced it back with the rest like a puzzle. There was also no doubt about the word written in red – "MURDERER."

Jax vaguely noticed that there was another marking in red on the sheet – the date of the article had been circled. He frowned at the date – it seemed familiar. But then, as he read a little further, it felt like a furnace exploded inside his body. Jax’s breathing grew ragged.

A sister named Julia? A dog named Princess? Jax rubbed his eyes with his hand and his chest heaved. {No. Brenda was devious, but this is even TOO diabolical for her. To take advantage of some dead woman’s identity – to use the details from her obituary and construct another personality, just so that she could eventually run away with Miguel…..} He flashed back to Brenda’s nightmares about a sister he never heard of named Julia and a dog named Princess. He read on, even though tears started to cloud his vision.

More flashes from Brenda’s nightmares made him realize the extent of her scheme.

Jax blinked his eyes rapidly and looked down at the printout again. When the red ink drew his gaze to the date, a flashback slammed against his chest like a sledgehammer.

Jax crumpled the paper into a wad in his fist and rose angrily from the floor of the closet. {YOU BLOODY FOOL!!! She did it to you AGAIN!} He shook his head at her deviousness. {Oh, she was a master planner, all right! She waited until she could come home from the hospital and find some other poor woman who died on the date she "died." Then she found out as much as she could about this Brenda Barrett and used it with you……sprinkling in little details, just to make it sound plausible.} He raked his fingers through his hair and muttered expletives under this breath until he felt like he was going to explode.

Jax strode out of the enclosure and closed the door behind him, leaning against it for support as his chest heaved. When he opened his eyes, they were cold and emotionless. {Well, at least you’re onto her now. She can’t lead you around like a puppet anymore. When she comes back – IF she comes back – you can just confront her with this and tell her that the game’s over.} Jon’s soft whimper caused Jax’s eyes to fly open. The baby shifted in his sleep but then quieted again. Jax walked over to the bed, the paper still held tightly in his fist.

{My poor angel. You don’t deserve this. You deserve a mother who loves you – not a……..a…….} Jax closed his eyes as memories played out on a screen behind his eyelids. Memories that contradicted the "evidence" he’d just found. The way Brenda’s face looked when Jon rolled over for the first time. The peaceful contentment she seemed to get when she was nursing him, before the formula problems. The way she sang to him and nuzzled him affectionately.

He took a shaky breath as his eyes shot open. {But what else could this printout mean? Brenda’s different, that’s true……but if it’s not some scheme of hers, why did she keep this?} Confusion clouded Jax’s brain until he was ready to scream. {You have to stop thinking about this……looking for hidden meanings that aren’t there. You need to forget about it. To find something else to distract you. Work.} Jax opened his eyes and tried to take a calming breath. He would go to the study and work for a while. That would get his mind off all of the puzzling events of the afternoon.

After moving some pillows so that Jon was effectively hemmed in on the bed, Jax grabbed one of the baby monitors and went to the door of the bedroom. He only closed it halfway, making sure that his baby monitor was switched "on." Trouble followed him out of the room but took up a "guard" position in front of the door, resting on his belly with his paws outstretched.

It only took a few seconds for Jax to reach his study. He walked to the desk and planted himself in the chair with a vengeance. When he looked down and realized he still held the crumpled printouts in his hand, he threw them into the metal trash can with a resounding "thunk." Turning back towards his desk, he reached for his briefcase and the files on the docks project.

{But even if this was all some big cover-up for a rendezvous with Miguel, why would Brenda have labeled Sonny a murderer?} Jax remembered her dislike for Sonny when they visited Port Charles. He grimaced. Despite his wife’s infidelity, his good business sense told him he couldn’t afford to be involved with a man who had criminal connections.

Jax was leafing through the file, looking for any other information that Jerry might have given him, when he found it. {You must have stuck it in there by mistake – when Robin brought it to you.} He held up the employment contract that Brenda had signed just before they went to Port Charles. When he looked down and dug deeper in the file, he found the original one that Robin told him Brenda had signed the day after Jon was born.

He looked back and forth between the two. {The signatures match perfectly. Handwriting can’t be faked. Obviously the same woman signed these two.} Jax frowned. {Then why did Robin need another one? What did she say?} His eyes widened as he remembered – the signature didn’t match one from several months before.

Jax hesitated for a few minutes and then thrust the employment agreement towards a far corner of the desk. He picked up the latest correspondence from Jerry, leaned back in his desk chair, and started to read it, chewing on his knuckle as he did. But after a few minutes, he realized that the words he was trying to read were only gibberish. Against his best intentions, his gaze was drawn back to the employment agreement.

{You’re not going to have any peace until you get this settled, Jax. It shouldn’t be that hard to do.} He thought about it for a few seconds and then turned to the other side of the desk, reaching down to the bottom drawer. He pulled out a small box marked "Cancelled checks – 1998." He didn’t have to look any farther than January 3 to find one that Brenda – or the Brenda he knew at that time – had signed. When Jax held the cancelled check up against the employment contract, he was glad that Jon couldn’t hear his shocked expletive.

Even to the untrained eye, the two handwriting samples were nothing alike. The signature on the check was stilted and sharp. The letters were all tall and had only narrow loops. The letter "J" in the last name was printed, alphabet-style. On the other hand, the signature on the employment contract was more rounded. The "a’s" had large loops, even with swirled stems. The tops of all the letters were circular, and the "J" in "Jacks" was romantically cursive.

Jax tried to tell himself that maybe the check was just an aberration – maybe Brenda’s hand had been sprained and her handwriting was extraordinary that day in 1998. But after going through several months of checks and finding the signatures all to be alike, he leaned back in his desk chair and closed his eyes with a long sigh.

{So her handwriting’s not the same. And she claims memories from her past that jive with this "other" Brenda’s life. But that doesn’t make her the other Brenda! She still looks like my Brenda!} Jax’s eyes slowly opened and he shook his head, trying to force the disturbing questions from his mind. {But she’s so different in other ways, too.} More contradictions flashed through Jax’s mind…….the morning she shared breakfast with him, including the yogurt that she had never been willing to try before; the way she had responded the first time he kissed her; the way she enjoyed and even initiated French kisses; the way she selflessly gave him pleasure when they made love, instead of just waiting to see how many times Jax could bring her to her peak. Jax closed his eyes as his hands started to tremble. {Is it possible? That her *soul* got a second chance in my Brenda’s body? Could such a thing even happen? She kept trying to tell me that …… in the hospital, after Jon was born……}

Jax swore softly under his breath again and slammed the desk drawers closed. He sat back in the chair and put his knuckle to his lips. {You’ll never rest until you find out if it’s true or not……but how can you possibly hope to verify something like this…….} Jax’s eyes narrowed as he glanced down towards the trash can and discarded printouts. He called himself ten kinds of fool as he retrieved them and then sat up straight at the desk, smoothing out the wrinkles. As a plan formed in his mind, he chewed on his lower lip, and then picked up the telephone, punching the "0" button.

"Yes, operator….I’d like directory assistance for Port Charles, New York…….The number for either Harlan or Julia Barrett, please…….."

{They’re going to think you’re crazy. What are you going to say? "Hello, this is Jasper Jacks from Malibu, California. I’m calling because I think ….. well, I’m trying to find out if it’s possible…….maybe your dead daughter’s spirit came back from heaven and is living in my wife’s body……}

A feminine voice brought Jax out of his ruminations. "Hello?"

"Yes, uh…….I was calling for either Harlan or Julia Barrett……" Jax could hear the hesitation on the other end of the phone. "I’m calling regarding Brenda’s death……."

There was a few more seconds of silence. "This is her sister, Julia." Her voice was frosty. "But if you’re calling about some kind of cemetery plot or perpetual memorial, we’re really not interest……"

"No, no – nothing like that!" {Relax, Jax – it’s probably like you first thought. Brenda just found a convenient scapegoat in their loss and used the information in the obituary to her advantage. There’s nothing to be nervous about.} "I…..uh……" Jax leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes, trying to concentrate. "I was a business acquaintance of Brenda Barrett and I just learned of her death today." He paused, waiting for some reaction, but there was none. "I wanted to tell Julia and Mr. Barrett how sorry I was to hear of their loss."

There was another cool pause. "What did you say your name was?"

"Jacks." Jax sat up straighter in the chair. "Jasper Jacks." More silence. "I met Brenda through a mutual friend….."

"Well, I don’t remember Brenda mentioning your name." Jax held his breath. Julia sighed. "But then again, I’m finding out more and more each day that there were things I never knew about my sister." Another short pause. "I suppose you knew her through Lucy and the modeling thing….."

"…..The modeling thing! Right!" Jax seized on the unwitting slip. Julia obviously didn’t connect his name with the docks project or any other business enterprise, so Jax was safe in assuming any identity he wanted. "I called Lucy because I needed a model in a hurry for a quick job and she recommended Brenda."

"Well, Lucy certainly saw something that none of the rest of us did. Brenda just seemed to blossom when she was modeling."

Jax could hear the raw pain of grief in her voice and a momentary twinge of guilt made him grimace. "I…..uh……I read the account of her funeral in the newspaper and excerpts from the eulogy you gave. You must miss her very much."

Julia’s voice was suddenly cold. "It’s very difficult to lose someone you love, Mr. Jacks. Obviously you haven’t experienced that."

{I really don’t know what I’ve experienced. That’s what I’m trying to find out.} "I’m sorry. I certainly didn’t mean to make the situation worse….."

Julia sighed again sadly. "And I apologize, too. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. It’s just that some days are worse than others, and lately I just can’t stop thinking about Brenda, you know? Almost like she’s still here but I just don’t realize it……"

Jax swallowed hard. "And if she *was* still around? If you had a ……second chance?"

"Well, for one thing – I wouldn’t make fun of Brenda’s modeling career ….." Jax could hear the regret in her voice. "I always told her that it wasn’t a *real* job, like mine. I told her that maybe if she went into the business world like I did, daddy would pay more attention to her. Then she could get over the ridiculous notion she had that daddy liked me better."

Jax’s breathing became shaky. {She talked about it – that night after the nightmare. That her father liked Julia better than her. But lots of sisters have sibling rivalries. Or my Brenda could have even called up this woman and talked to her on the phone. That doesn’t prove anything.}

"There’s just so many things that I should have said to her, you know?" Julia’s voice was close to breaking. "So many things that I realize now, and wish I had a chance to still say….."

Despite the fact that he was trying to find out the truth about Brenda Barrett and if she might be connected to his Brenda, Jax couldn’t help but feel sorry for Julia. "Look, Miss Barrett, I didn’t know Brenda that well, but I’m sure that she knew you loved her." Jax could hear Julia’s sharp intake of breath. "In fact, there were probably things that she regretted not telling you, too."

"You mean like not telling me to jump off the nearest cliff?" Julia laughed sarcastically.

"No. She probably regretted never telling you how much she loved you, too."

Jax was surprised when he heard Julia’s soft sob. "Actually……she did tell me that she loved me…..although she never knew that I found out about it. There was this essay she had to write in the 5^th grade about someone she admired."

Jax was squeezing the telephone so tightly his knuckles were turning white. "And she wrote it about you?"

"Yeah – and I wasn’t supposed to find out."

"I made my teacher, Mrs. Livingston, *promise* never to tell Julia about it."

"But the 5^th grade teacher knew about our little problems at home," Julia said ruefully, "and so even through Brenda swore her to secrecy, the teacher told me anyway. I don’t think Brenda ever knew that poor Mrs. Livingston broke her promise." Even though the blood was starting to beat a loud tattoo in his ears, Jax could hear Julia’s voice soften. "You know, you’ve given me a wonderful gift today, Mr. Jacks."

He could barely get the words out. "I have?

"Yes. I haven’t thought about that essay in years. And poor Mrs. Livingston passed on about ten years ago, I think. You did a wonderful thing, pulling that memory out of my subconscious."

Jax had to raise the receiver to his forehead so that Julia wouldn’t hear his anguished cry. It wasn’t beyond the realm of possibility that the Brenda Jacks he married would research someone on the Internet and try to assume their identity as part of some grand scheme to be with her lover. But this – this was a private secret. Something that only three people knew about. The dead teacher, Julia Barrett, ……..and Brenda Barrett.

"Mr. Jacks? Are you still there?"

Jax wiped the tears from his eyes. "Yes, Miss Barrett, I’m here." He rubbed his nose with the back of his hand. "Well, I didn’t mean to take so much of your time. Would you please extend my most sincere condolences to your father on his loss?"

"I’ll do that, Mr. Jacks." He could hear Julia’s polite smile through the telephone. "And if you’re ever in the Port Charles area, please don’t hesitate to drop in and say hello. Any friend of Brenda’s is a friend of ours."

Jax managed to hang up the phone before his breath escaped in a loud whoosh. He doubled over in the chair as though someone had punched him, hanging his head between his knees as waves of dizziness and nausea washed over him. When he came back up, his face was still pale. He rested his elbows on his knees and covered his mouth and nose with the fingers of both hands, breathing hard.

{A friend of Brenda? I’m more than a friend of Brenda, Julia. I’m MARRIED to her!! Or to her spirit, or soul, or whatever you’d call it……} He rose from the desk chair and walked to the French doors, staring out at the breaking waves on the beach. Putting his hands on his hips, he tried to control his heartbeat, which was still racing so fast it felt like it was going to explode right out of his chest. {But HOW could it happen? This isn’t a movie, for God’s sake!!! This is real life!! Things like that only happen on soap operas……}

"Mr. Jax?" Thomas’s gentle voice behind him caused Jax to jump. "Are you alright?" Jax turned back to find the houseman standing in the doorway with a stack of envelopes and magazines in his hand. Thomas frowned and walked into the study. "I thought I would just bring you this mail but…..you don’t look so good."

Jax took a long shaky breath. "I’m fine, Thomas – really." He laughed a little and took slow steps as he went back to the desk.

Thomas raised one eyebrow as he came to the chair in front of the desk. "Yeah – well, you look awful pale for someone who’s fine."

Jax sank into the chair and attempted another casual laugh. But when it rang hollow again, he sank back into the depths of the chair and sighed. "Do you have a minute to talk?"

Thomas shrugged. "Sure." He sat down in the chair facing Jax, placing the mail on the desk in front of him. "What’s up?"

Jax frowned for a minute as he considered how to begin. "Thomas……do you believe in reincarnation?"

"Reincarnation?" Thomas quirked one eyebrow at Jax. Then, he suddenly picked up a magazine from the mail and rolled it lengthwise. "You mean – like do I believe that fly sitting on the top of those envelopes is my late mother-in-law come back to earth?" Jax jumped when Thomas brought the magazine down with a loud thwack on the fly. "One can certainly hope, can’t one?" His gleeful smile tried to erase some of the tension from the room.

Jax shook his head. "Be serious, Thomas." He leaned forward and folded his hands on the desk. "I mean like in life after death – heaven and hell and whether or not someone can get a ……. second chance."

"Ahhhhhh……" Thomas raised his eyebrows and smiled wisely as he settled back in his own chair. He pursed his lips, folded his arms, and looked Jax in the eye. "My great-grandmother, rest her soul, was an Aboriginal priestess -–did I ever tell you that?"

Jax smiled and relaxed back in his own chair. "No – I don’t think you did."

"No matter." Thomas raised a flat hand in front of him in a gesture of unimportance. "Great-Grandmama," he went on in an earnest voice, "always used to tell us that life was a circle." He gestured off towards some distant point. "The cow eats the grass to become fat. The man slaughters the cow for food. The man eats the food. Then the man dies, and his body is buried beneath the earth. It becomes one with the soil, which nourishes the grass, which the cow eats…….."

"Is this the Aboriginal version of the Farmer in the Dell?" Jax’s voice belied his impatience.

Thomas sat forward in his chair, his eyes piercing Jax’s soul. "She used to say that ALL of us live in a circle, Mr. Jax. Our Maker sends us to live on this earth with a purpose. Some of us accomplish that purpose and when they die, those people go to their just rewards. Some other people are not so lucky the first time around. They need more chances to accomplish what they were meant to do in life……" Jax nodded quickly. His heart was racing again, despite his best efforts to calm it. He rose from the desk and went to the bar, taking a glass noisily from the stack with shaking hands. As he attempted to pour some Scotch into it, the amber liquid splashed all over the counter. "This is about Mrs. Brenda, isn’t it?"

Jax spun back around, the Scotch completely forgotten. "You knew it – right from the beginning, didn’t you?"

Thomas smiled. He glanced over at the desk and picked up the printouts, fingering them gingerly. "Not all of it. I knew that she was different. I knew that she wasn’t the same woman on the inside – where it counts."

Jax walked back to Thomas and crouched in front of him. He braced his hands on the arms of the chair and his eyes brimmed with tears. "But HOW did you know? I’m the woman’s HUSBAND, for God’s sake! Why did you know and I didn’t?"

"I didn’t know everything in the beginning, Mr. Jax. All I could see was that her *soul* had changed." He tipped his head humbly. "And for that gift, I thank my Great-Grandmama as well." Then he lifted the papers that Jax had found earlier. "As for the rest……well, I didn’t find out about what really happened until I went with Mrs. Brenda and she told Miguel."

Jax’s eyes widened and filled with rage. "She told Miguel?" He started to breathe harder and his knuckles gripping the chair turned red. "She told that bun of a snitch and didn’t tell me??!!"

Thomas reached out to put his hand over Jax’s for reassurance. "She *tried* to tell you, Mr. Jax." Jax tried to jerk his hand away but Thomas held it fast. "Apparently right after Master Jonathan was born……."

Jax turned his face away from Thomas and swore guiltily under his breath. "I told her she was crazy. I threatened to have her committed." He looked back into Thomas’s eyes. "But it *does* sound crazy, Thomas – even now!" He gestured towards the paper in Thomas’s hand. "Even with all that proof, I’m beginning to think that I’m part of some monumental Twilight Zone episode!"

Thomas gripped Jax’s hand tightly. "I understand that this is a lot for you to comprehend, Mr. Jax, but it is the truth. And Mrs. Brenda only told Miguel about it so that he would understand that she wasn’t the woman who loved him anymore. It was the only way he would ever agree to leave the two of you alone."

Jax nodded his understanding. He rose to his feet and walked back to the desk chair and sat down, leaning back to prop his elbow on the armrest and settle his chin in his fingertips. "So Miguel knows the truth, and now you and I. Anybody else?"

Thomas shook his head. "I don’t think so." He put the papers back on the desk.

Jax buried his face in his hands. "God, Thomas…….When I think of some of the things I said to her, especially right after the baby was born……." He raised pained eyes to meet Thomas’s gaze. "She didn’t deserve any of that."

"You shouldn’t think of that, Mr. Jax. You should just remember how things are NOW, and how much she loves you and Master Jon."

Jax smiled weakly and nodded, but then suddenly his face lost color. "Oh, my God…..Thomas!" He sat up abruptly and started pushing papers around on his desk. "Where is Brenda now? I mean, I thought she was running away with Miguel, but if she’s not, then what the bloody h*ll IS she doing?"

Thomas’s lips formed a thin line. "Probably something she shouldn’t – at least not alone."

Jax’s eyes widened and he reached for the papers. "If she thought that Corinthos had something to do with her death……..I mean, with Brenda Barrett’s death……." He paused a split second and then picked up the phone, punching the buttons with a vengeance. As he put the receiver to his ear, he lowered the mouthpiece and spoke to Thomas, who was already on his way towards the door. "I left Jon sleeping in the middle of our bed. Go check on him and then tell Robin I’ll be leaving town for a few days."

Thomas gripped the doorjamb on his way out. "You want me to come along? Or to call Mr. Jerry?"

Jax shook his head. "No. She’s my wife. I’ll handle it." He drummed his fingers on the desk nervously until he heard a voice at the other end of the line. "This is Jax. Get the jet fueled and cleared for immediate takeoff." His voice was grim as he stared out at the ocean. "I’ll be filing a flight plan for Port Charles, New York."

To be continued…….