Brenda appeared in the doorway only seconds later. She pointed at Trouble, who had planted his rear under the bed. Only his chest and front paws still showed, along with the half-gnawed shoe, which he placed temptingly on the floor in front of him. "Trouble……" Brenda crooned, tiptoeing towards the bed. "Give mommy back her shoe……"

Trouble yipped softly. As he panted, more drool dripped down in the shoe, causing Brenda to cringe. But for the moment, the dog didn’t move.

"That’s a goooooood doggie." Brenda tried to keep a pleasant expression on her face as she drew nearer to the canine commando. "Just a few more steps and then I’ll have my shoe back and I won’t have to turn you into cockapoo stew……."

Brenda’s hand was only inches away from her shoe when Trouble sprang. He barked loudly, causing Brenda to startle and lose concentration. That split second was all it took for Trouble to grab the shoe again and disappear totally under the bed.

Brenda sputtered angrily and dropped to her knees next to the bed. "Trouble Jacks!! You come back out here right now, do you hear me?" She slapped the floor twice with her flat hand for emphasis.

"Did dat dog get to his hideout with one of your shoes again, Mrs. Brenda?" Brenda didn’t move from her position on her hands and knees but swung her head around to glare at Thomas. He was leaning against the doorjamb lazily with his arms crossed. "You want me to get you a rake from the pool guy? Maybe you can pull some of Trouble’s loot out from under the center of the bed with it……"

Brenda pushed herself up to a kneeling position and clapped her hands together briskly to dust them off. "You know, you have to admit one thing – that dog is brilliant. The bed is so big and I’m so short that there’s no way my arms are long enough to reach him when he’s right in the center." She extended her lower lip to puff at her hair, which had fallen in her eyes. "And since Trouble hasn’t taken a fancy to Jax’s shoes in a while, I can’t expect any help from him….."

Thomas walked into the room. "You want me to try?" He bent his knees a little, looking under the bed. "I’ve got longer arms than you, and God only knows what that dog has got under there."

Brenda rose to her feet and pushed her hair back off her face. "No, Thomas, that’s OK." She glanced towards the two open Louis Vuitton suitcases on the bed. "I really don’t need that shoe and I should finish packing if I want to make my flight."

Thomas folded his arms again and a stern look came over his face. "I guess I don’t need to tell you again that I think this is a bad idea, Mrs. Brenda."

Brenda grimaced and grabbed some folded silk shirts from the bed. "No, you don’t. You’ve already made that perfectly clear." Thomas remained rooted in place. When Brenda saw his obstinate stance, she sighed and went over to him. "But Thomas, I just can’t tell Jax about this trip."

She hadn’t even told Thomas about all the details of her plan. As soon as she had made the decision, she decided that the sooner she left for Port Charles, the sooner she could be back in Malibu. Jax would be none the wiser and she would have the information to convince him to sever ties with the mobster. Brenda put her hands on Thomas’s folded arms gently but he just snorted and looked off towards the French doors.

"Batting those big brown eyes of yours ain’t gonna change my mind, no it ain’t, Mrs. Brenda." He sighed. " Now, I’m not gonna ask what you’re doing." He looked back to stare deeply into her eyes. "Cause your aura is still nice and pink and pretty, so I don’t think it’s anything that would hurt Mr. Jax or Master Jon." He narrowed one eye and raised the eyebrow above it. "But Mister Jax, he can’t see your aura like I can, and he might get the wrong idea if he comes back and you’re not here……."

Brenda patted his arm for reassurance. "Well, that’s all the more reason I should get going! That way I can get my business finished and be back before Mr. Jax gets home from Gstaad!" She leaned up and kissed Thomas on the cheek. "But I appreciate your concern – really I do!"

Thomas sighed again and then turned and went back to the door. "I’m gonna check on your taxicab, Mrs. Brenda. You call me if you need anything."

"I will, Thomas, and thank you." Brenda watched until he left the room and then sighed loudly. She turned back to the bed in time to see Trouble’s pink nose and the tips of his paws. "Well, you little scavenger, did you decide to give Mommy back her shoe?" She crept up to the bed but as soon as she got near enough to grab the dog, he disappeared into his hideout again. "I thought so," she hissed, putting her hands on her hips.

Brenda glanced down at her wristwatch. "Dummit! I’d better get going or I’ll never make that plane!" She looked around frantically and started quickly packing up the rest of the clothing that was neatly stacked on the bed. When she heard a noise at the door, she didn’t turn around but just called out, "If that’s the cab, Thomas, just tell them that I’ll be there in a few seconds. I’m almost finished packing……"

There was a five-second pause before Brenda heard another voice from the door. "I can see that for myself."

She straightened up and spun around, her face completely drained of color. "Jax!" He was standing in the doorway, his suit coat slung over one shoulder and his tie pulled un-knotted but still around his neck. The hurt look of betrayal in his eyes made her feel nauseated. "You…….you’re back early……"

Jax walked slowly into the room. "Our meeting broke up early, but I decided to just fly home and surprise you." He peered around her at the suitcases on the bed. "Looks like *I’m* the one who got the surprise instead," he added bitterly.

"Now, Jax, don’t go jumping to all the wrong conclusions." {You can’t tell him the truth. First of all, he would never believe you. And second, Jax has such a white-knight complex that he would insist on coming along. You just have to make up some plausible story that he’ll believe to buy you a few days alone in Port Charles.}

"OK." Jax crossed his arms and stared at her pointedly. "Then tell me what conclusions I *can* jump to." He nodded towards the suitcases. "Taking a little trip?"

"Actually…….YES!!" Brenda quickly turned back to the suitcases and threw in her makeup case as she spoke. "Lois and I found out about this wonderful new punk rock group that’s performing back east." She zipped up one suitcase and turned back to him with a broad smile. "I was going to tell you about it on the phone, honey, but it’s really not that big of a deal."

"Really?" Jax didn’t change position.

"Really!" Brenda walked over to place her flat hands on his chest. "We just need to listen to a few sets and then talk them into signing with L&B……." She shrugged her shoulders and smiled innocently. "It shouldn’t take more than two or three days, tops. I thought I could get it all taken care of and get back before you missed me!"

Jax returned her smile, making Brenda suspicious. "Well then, since I’m back early, why don’t I just come along, sweetie?" He pulled her into his arms but Brenda noticed that his embrace was not as warm as usual. "You know how much fun we had on that last little trip we took together." His voice dropped to a low, suggestive tone.

Brenda pushed him away to go back to the bed. "Oh, honey, I thought about waiting until you got back so we could go together, but I know how much you hate all that loud punk music." She threw a bathrobe into the other suitcase and zipped it shut, too. "You said it gives you a headache."

"So then why are you so intent on signing this particular group to L&B?" Jax’s frown appeared earnest. "Hard rock isn’t exactly your usual stock and trade."

She shrugged and smiled brightly. "Diversify! Isn’t that what you’re always telling me? That it’s a brilliant business tactic?!"

Jax’s eyes turned cold as ice. "Brilliant in business, but not in real life." He sighed and stared down at the floor. "Jerry just told me on the phone before I left Gstaad that he was taking Lois to the Riviera for a few days since there was nothing important on the horizon for L&B." Brenda tried not to let the horror of being caught in the lie show on her face. "You’re busted, Brenda. I know there’s no punk rock group – no L&B contract to be signed."

"Jax……" Brenda went over and tried to put her hand on his arm but he pulled away. "It’s not what you think……"

She gasped aloud when he grabbed her arm tightly instead. "Then tell me what it *is*, Brenda. The truth this time." He pulled her against him and bent towards her until her face was only inches from his.

Tears gathered in her eyes. "I…….I can’t, Jax." His grip on her arm relaxed and she stepped away from him. "I just……..I have to do something, but it doesn’t have anything to do with us……."

"It’s Miguel, isn’t it?" The pain in Jax’s voice sliced through Brenda like a knife. "First you convinced me to let him off scot-free, and now you’re going to join him – wherever he’s hiding……"

Brenda rushed over to grab Jax’s arms. "No, Jax! I swear that’s not it!"

"Then tell me, Brenda!! Tell me what’s so trucking important that you have to sneak away without me knowing about it!"

Brenda reached up to cup the side of Jax’s face lovingly but he flinched at her touch. "Jax, I told you that I changed after Jon was born, and you know it’s been true. I *haven’t* lied to you…….I’ve been faithful to you……God, I LOVE you, and *only* you, Jax! How many times do I have to prove it to you?"

"Then why can’t you prove it to me now?" he whispered. "Why can’t you just tell me where you’re going?"

Brenda’s lower lip trembled. "Jax……..I *swear* I’ll tell you the truth about everything after I get back." She took a shaky breath. "But for right now, you’ll just have to trust me."

Jax’s eyes flared slightly and he pulled away from her. "Trust you?" He nodded his head. "Like I trusted you about the dog?" He backed up a few steps with each phrase. "And about the sister I never knew you had? And about letting a homicidal maniac get off with a slap on the wrist for almost killing us both?" Jax’s voice shook with barely-controlled rage. "I’d say I’ve MORE than proven myself in the trust department, Brenda. I think you OWE me the truth on this one."

"And I WILL tell you the truth, Jax……." The sound of a car horn outside made her jump. Then she exhaled softly and her lips set in a grim line. "As soon as I get back." Brenda turned around and grabbed the suitcases off the bed. "That’s my cab – I’m going to miss my flight if I don’t go now."

She brushed past him on her way out of the bedroom. Jax didn’t say a word until she was almost out of the room. "Brenda!" She froze but didn’t look back at him. "If you leave now – like this, with no explanation……" Brenda turned back to him, her eyes wide with the unasked question. Jax stared down at the floor as he finished his statement. "…….I’m not sure……." He cleared his throat. "I just can’t do this again."

"What are you saying, Jax?" Brenda whispered.

When he looked up at her, Brenda saw the tears in his eyes. "Don’t worry about rushing back anytime soon. There won’t be anything here for you to come back to."

It hurt for her to breathe. Brenda felt like someone was wrapping steel bands around her chest and pulling them as tight as possible. "Then I’ll just have to take that chance," she whispered fiercely. "Because I know that I love you, Jasper Jacks. And I think that down deep, you know that, too!"

Brenda was running down the hallway with her suitcases when she heard the car horn again. She was about to go out the front door when she heard it – the sound of crashing crystal coming from their bedroom, followed by a wail of human anguish she hoped to never hear again in any lifetime.

**********

"Excuse me, Miss? Can I get you anything else?"

Brenda looked up from her steaming cup of coffee into the face of a matronly woman. {Yeah, Ruby – I’d like one of your famous cheeseburgers. You know, with the lettuce and tomato, and the dill pickle spear on the side. And the crinkle cut fries that I would dunk in the mayonnaise. The ones I used to eat it every day for lunch when I lived here. And you would tease me about how I was the only customer you had who could eat your cheeseburgers and fries every day and never gain an ounce.} "No," Brenda replied weakly, "I’m fine for now, thank you."

Brenda hadn’t felt much like eating ever since leaving Malibu the day before. All she kept hearing was the sound of Jax’s voice as she left. She had checked into the Port Charles Hotel but had lain awake all night. The one advantage to that was having plenty of time to formulate her plan to find the proof of Sonny’s guilt and get back to Jax as quick as was humanly possible.

{You have to get into Sonny’s penthouse. He probably still keeps all of his paperwork there. And you can’t just waltz over there uninvited. You’ll have to lay some groundwork – get him to invite you over there. So first, you have to meet him somewhere…….} It didn’t take long for Brenda to decide that the best place to run into someone in Port Charles was Kelly’s Diner.

Brenda had spent many an hour in Kelly’s when she was Brenda Barrett. Sonny had even met her there for lunch many times. She had to hide the tight feeling in her chest when she saw the proprietor, Ruby again……the feeling that she just wanted to run to Ruby and throw her arms around her and confess who she "really" was. But of course, Ruby would have thought that she was crazy. Even now, the sound of Ruby’s voice made the butterflies in Brenda’s stomach stop fluttering. "Are you sure I can’t talk you into some of my chili?" Ruby grinned, and then blushed slightly. "I like to think that it’s the best in town."

"And she’s right." A male voice came from over Ruby’s shoulder. When the buxom woman moved to the side, Sonny appeared at her elbow. "You won’t find anything finer up and down the entire East Coast than Ruby’s chili."

{Bingo.} Brenda tried to contain her excitement and gave Sonny a coy smile. "Why, Mr. Corinthos! What a surprise!"

Sonny showed enough teeth to attract every dentist in the county. "Mrs. Jacks," he nodded, extending a hand. He pointed back over his shoulder towards the door with his free hand while grasping Brenda’s fingers firmly with the other. "I *thought* that maybe it was you when I came in the door." Brenda finally tugged gently and got her hand back. "But I thought that you and Jaaaaaasper had gone back to the West Coast……some crisis in Gstaad he had to handle?"

It was killing Brenda on the inside, but she managed to return Sonny’s smile. "That’s true……" She waved her hand with annoyance. "Although after a while, they *all* seem to be crises. The only thing that changes is the name. Gstaad……Hong Kong……Manhattan….." She put on her best "oops-I-shouldn’t-have-said-that" face and then waved towards the empty chair opposite her own. "But here I am, going on about my own problems, while you’re just standing there. Won’t you join me?"

The lights inside Kelly’s gave Sonny’s hair an oilier-than-usual sheen. "I’d be delighted," he crooned, sliding into the vacant chair. He glanced up at Ruby, who was still standing next to the table, waiting for his order. "Why don’t you just bring me a cup of coffee for now, Ruby." He looked up at Brenda and raised one eyebrow in a slightly suggestive manner. "And then, maybe later I can convince Mrs. Jacks to be brave enough to share some of your wonderful chili with me."

Ruby nodded and left them alone. Now that her plan was actually going to be set in motion, Brenda found herself more nervous than ever. {What if Sonny doesn’t invite me to dinner? What if he’s really not the slimeball that I think he is? How will I ever manage to get into his penthouse? I *have* to get that proof. If I go back without it……..after the way I left Jax………if he’s still there when I get back…….}

When Sonny opened his mouth to speak, Brenda’s fears were put to rest. "Sooooo, Mrs. Jacks…….it must be difficult for you…..being trapped at home with a new baby while your husband’s off gallivanting around the world in the name of business….."

{And I’ll just bet you’re willing to hold my hand and make it better, aren’t you?} Brenda sighed theatrically and stirred her coffee with her spoon. "Yes. I thought that maybe the baby would make a difference, you know…..that Jax would stay home more with us, particularly when it was a son." Beneath the table, she stabbed the spiked heel of one shoe into the toe of her other foot until it drew tears. Tears that looked like the anguished tears of a neglected wife to Sonny. "But it doesn’t seem to be making a difference, and when I found myself trapped in that house alone with the baby, and then he just kept crying and crying……"

Sonny placed his hand over Brenda’s and leaned towards her. "I’m so sorry, Brenda." When Brenda lifted her eyes to stare into Sonny’s, she knew he could see the tears threatening to spill out and down her cheeks. Sonny had always had a soft spot for a crying woman. He grinned at her lewdly. "You don’t mind if I call you Brenda, do you?"

She sniffed loudly – again, for show. "Of course not – Sonny." Brenda turned her hand over to gently clasp his. "You know, I was really hoping that I might find you when I came back here." She batted her eyes at him. "I never exactly got that tour of the city that you promised me."

They sprang apart when Ruby suddenly appeared with two cups of coffee. The matronly woman smiled at Sonny but then as soon as she turned her back and bustled away, Sonny reached for Brenda’s hand again. "I’d love to make good on that offer, Brenda. Are you free tomorrow afternoon?"

Brenda’s heart sank. "What about today?" She was embarrassed to act so brazen, but she didn’t want to take any longer than necessary in getting the information she needed.

Sonny grimaced and let go of her hand. "Unfortunately, I have some business appointments this afternoon that can’t be postponed at this late date." He smiled and winked at her again. "Had I known that you were going to be in town earlier, of course, I would have re-scheduled them."

{Same song, different verse. Business appointments that can’t be postponed. Translation – mob powwows with other murderers and general sleazebags.} Brenda sat back and folded her hands demurely. "Of course – I understand completely, Sonny." She batted her eyes again until she thought her eyelashes would fall off into her coffee. "An important man like yourself must have a lot of contacts to keep up with."

Sonny preened at the compliment. He shrugged his shoulders and stared down into his coffee. "Well, I don’t know about that……." Then he smiled at Brenda. "But you never answered my question about tomorrow afternoon…."

"Tomorrow afternoon would be excellent." Brenda leaned forward, her coat falling open to reveal the low-cut blouse she had worn specifically in hopes of running into Sonny. "But I have to warn you that sightseeing often makes me very………hungry….."

She followed Sonny’s eyes as they stared down into her cleavage and then came back up again. "Hungry?"

Brenda fought rising waves of nausea as she slid one foot up the side of Sonny’s leg. "Ravenous."

Sonny’s eyes widened and he shifted in his seat uncomfortably before smiling at her again. "Then perhaps we should plan on dinner following the tour……."

Brenda sat back in her chair but still kept her foot at Sonny’s ankle, rubbing it intermittently. "I like the sound of that."

"Good." He nodded and his eyes sparkled with lust. "I’ll make reservations at a place I know near here. It has excellent cuisine and the staff is very…….discreet." He chuckled a little. "We like to call it "the no-name.""

At first, Brenda was disappointed. She had hoped Sonny would invite her to his penthouse for dinner. While he was preparing the main course, she planned to find the incriminating evidence and sneak out before she became the dessert. But after seeing the look of animal lust in his eyes, Brenda decided that maybe eating in a semi-public place was better after all. She wasn’t sure she could fend him off for an entire meal in the event that she wasn’t able to find all of the evidence immediately. And the less time she had to spend with him alone, the better.

Brenda rose from her chair and extended her hand to Sonny elegantly. "I’ll be looking forward to tomorrow afternoon then – Sonny."

Sonny’s eyes darted around the semi-deserted diner. Once he was sure that nobody was looking, he placed a quick kiss on the back of Brenda’s hand. "So will I – Brenda."

She couldn’t resist. The temptation had been there ever since she first lay eyes on him again as Brenda Jacks. While looking deeply into his eyes, she leaned down and whispered near his ear, "The plans for tomorrow just sound so…….amazing."

Even before Brenda straightened up again, she could see Sonny’s body flinch. She fought the triumphant grin that threatened to erupt when she saw the pallor wash over Sonny’s face. She knew that using that word would get a reaction from Sonny. It was Brenda Barrett’s favorite word – and she had said it *exactly* the way "she" used to say it.

Before he could say another word, Brenda winked at him. "I’ll meet you on the docks around two tomorrow, Sonny." She breezed out of Kelly’s, a spring to her step and her head held high. Hopefully, in 30 hours, she could say goodbye to Port Charles – and Sonny Corinthos – for the last time.

***********

"OK, there, little man……." Jax bounced Jon on his hip and paced across the bedroom floor once again. He glanced down at the carpet once, surprised that he didn’t see a path worn there. Narrowing one eye, he held his unhappy young son up so that their gazes met. "You hardly slept at all last night, you woke up at 5:30 this morning, you only took a 45 minute nap since then……" Jax sighed loudly. "Frankly, my little friend, you’re going to kill me if you keep this up."

Jon’s lower lip quivered for about three seconds before he cut loose again with a wail that made Jax’s eardrums quiver. "OK, OK – I get the picture. You’re not happy." Jax shifted Jon over his shoulder and tried massaging his back with a sigh. "Welcome to the club."

how was I to know, I’d miss you so

Jax paced the master bedroom a few more times, but Jon was still fretful. When he passed the large bed, Jax eyed it longingly. He chewed on his lower lip, glanced back towards Jon’s crib, and then looked over the baby’s shoulder at his brimming blue eyes. "You know, I’m *not* supposed to do this. Your grandma Jane will probably tell me you’ll be warped for life because I did this……." Jon sobbed loudly again. "But grandma Jane’s not here, and I am," Jax growled with determination.

Holding Jon tight against his chest, Jax went to the bed and sat down gingerly. He kicked off his shoes, scooted back further on the bed, and then eased himself down to a prone position with Jon still in his arms. When the baby seemed to quiet a little, Jax slowly reached out with his right hand to grab Brenda’s pillow. Just as he suspected – her scent lingered on the pillowcase. Honeysuckle and jasmine teased his nostrils, making the ache in Jax’s heart only grow larger.

from the bottom of my broken heart

Jax fought the memories that crowded their way into his brain. He stuffed the pillow next to his right side, and then shifted Jon to the crook of his right arm. The baby wriggled around a few seconds, but then his entire body seemed to relax when he caught his mother’s scent. "Sssshhhhhh," Jax whispered. He lay his head back on his own pillow and closed his eyes. The baby nuzzled his face into Jax’s chest and clutched his shirt. Jax opened one eye just in time to see Jon lose his valiant battle with Mr. Sandman.

Father and son had slept peacefully for about an hour when Jax woke up with a start. He looked around in confusion for the source of the noise, but then grimaced when he saw Trouble sitting in the doorway of the master bedroom. From the glint in his eye, the way his tail was wagging, and the red rubber ball he held in his mouth, Jax realized the awful truth: the canine member of the Jacks family had slept like a rock the night before and was ready to play.

"Ssshhhhhh…." Jax slipped his left finger up to his lips in an attempt to prevent Trouble from waking the finally-sleeping baby. Trouble whimpered softly and waggled his rear end, still anxious to play. Jax glanced once towards Jon and then back at the dog. "Mommy’s not here to play with you, you little stinker," he whispered. "Go find Thomas and make *his* life h*ll for a while."

Trouble cocked his head to the side for a few seconds, but then walked slowly over to the bed. "What the bloody h*ll……." Jax frowned and tried to lean over the side of the bed as Trouble disappeared from his sight underneath it. Looking back towards Jon, Jax gingerly slipped his right arm from beneath the sleeping baby. Jon made some soft baby noises but then re-adjusted himself on Brenda’s pillow and drifted back into a deep sleep.

Just as Jax swung his long legs out of the bed, Trouble re-appeared from beneath it. He proudly trotted about three feet away from the bed and turned back to face Jax, tightly holding a trophy in his teeth: Brenda’s black sling-back sandal. Jax frowned but then shook his head. "You little devil," he murmured. "I’ll bet Brenda’s been looking all over for that shoe."

As Jax reached out to take the shoe away, Trouble dropped it and scampered back under the bed. Jax rose from the bed and crouched down next to it, lifting the dust ruffle to peer into the darkness. "What *are* you doing under there, you little scoundrel?" Trouble’s head re-appeared a few seconds later. This time, he held one of Jax’s brown cashmere socks in his teeth. Jax swore softly. "THAT’S where that sock went!" He grabbed it away and Trouble yipped happily, diving back into the darkness for more loot.

Jax got down on his hands and knees and put his head to the floor. "If you don’t bring me everything you’ve got stashed in there, you little scamp, there’ll be no more doggie yummies for you!!" he growled. Trouble liked this new game and proceeded to bring out several more of Jax’s socks, one of Jon’s un-used disposable diapers, Thomas’s blue oven mitt, and an assortment of Brenda’s shoes.

Early during the "confession," Jax had sat down on the floor next to the bed, propping his back against the mattress. He folded his legs Indian style in front of him and tried to carefully sort the various items as they appeared. Most of them drew a smile – the disposable diaper, completely soaked with doggy drool, rated a scowl – but it was when Jax was going through Brenda’s shoes that he found it.

It was stuffed inside the toe of one of her high heels. Jax had tossed the shoe off to the side but when the crumpled piece of paper fell out, he frowned and reached for it. Trouble pounced towards the paper but Jax shooed him away with a frown. "What’ve you got here, boy?" He grimaced as he unfolded it. "Yuck – it’s soaked with doggie spit, too. Probably nothing impor……"

It felt like a heart attack. The blood pounded in Jax’s ears and he broke out in a cold sweat. As he slowly made out the red, handwritten word, Jax’s hands started to tremble visibly. It was only part of a typed sheet, but even the few words that Jax could make out drained the color from his face. As he looked up at the silent dog, Jax’s lips trembled. "Trouble? What the bloody h*ll is this?"

To be continued……..

Music credit: "From the Bottom of my Broken Heart," by Eric Foster White, recorded by Britney Spears on her CD, "Baby One More Time"