The newest addition to the Jacks family came racing down the hallway from Jax and Brenda’s bedroom. The bedroom slipper tightly clutched in his teeth was almost bigger than he was, yet he managed to hang onto it as he slid on the highly polished floors. He executed a perfect turn towards Jax’s den as he heard his pursuer gaining ground.

"TROUBLE JACKS! YOU GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT WITH DADDY’S SLIPPER!"

Brenda came flying out of the bedroom just as Trouble turned the corner and disappeared from sight. She was wearing an old, tattered chenille robe that came open as she ran, exposing the T-shirt and boxer shorts she had appropriated from Jax’s drawer to sleep in.

Her change in sleeping apparel happened earlier that week when Jax was called away again to Washington for some last minute meetings. As was the case with any large business operation, there were some final glitches that needed special handling, and since Thao had been summoned back to the Continent to handle other business problems, Jax had to make the trip. Brenda hated the fact that Jax had to leave when things between them were finally settling down. After their confrontation on the beach, Jax really seemed to be cautiously moving towards a reconciliation. But when his "short" trip stretched into four days, Brenda decided she couldn’t stand it anymore. She dug through Jax’s chest of drawers until she found a T-shirt and set of boxers that didn’t fall to her knees when she wore them. His scent still lingered in them, and it comforted her when bad dreams plagued her almost nightly.

"Daddy’s gonna be angry if you chew up those slippers again, mister!" Brenda stopped in her tracks when there was no sight of dog or slipper. She put her balled fists on her hips just as Thomas came out of the kitchen.

"Is that four-legged dickens givin’ you a fit again, Mrs. Brenda?"

"Jax is gonna make cockapoo STEW out of that dog if I don’t find his slipper before he gets home." She tapped her bare foot on the shiny bare wood of the floors as she looked under a side table. "Have you seen Trouble this morning?"

Thomas turned towards Jax’s study. "I thought I heard him goin’ that way, Mrs. Brenda. You need me to help you look for him?"

At that precise moment, Trouble poked his nose out of Jax’s study. Brenda raised her eyebrows and frowned at the puppy. "Not anymore. I think I’ve got The Fugitive cornered for now, Thomas." Trouble came frolicking out of Jax’s office and down the hallway but stopped short about twenty feet from Brenda. She leaned over towards him with her hands on her hips. "You know that if you were old enough, you’d be sleeping in the doghouse, don’t you, buddy?"

Trouble totally ignored Brenda’s stern tone of voice. He raised his rear end in the air, waving his feathery tail madly while stretching his stubby front legs forward. It was a blatant invitation to play.

"Ohhhhhh, nooooooo, don’t give me that "cute" routine," Brenda drawled. "I know exactly what you’re doing, Trouble, and it won’t work." She straightened up and crossed her arms. "Now either you show me where you hid daddy’s slipper or it’ll be that disgusting Science Diet dog food for you and health shakes for me for a week!"

Trouble hesitated for a few minutes, but then stood up straight and spun around. Waving his tail proudly in the air, he pranced down the hallway towards Jax’s study with Brenda following. Thomas watched them both until they disappeared through the door, then he shook his head. "Now if we could just take care of those two-legged dickens as easy as the four-legged ones!" He frowned in the direction of Miranda’s house, and then went back into the kitchen, muttering Aboriginal swear words under his breath.

Meanwhile, Brenda closed the door behind her so that Trouble couldn’t pull another vanishing act. "OK, mister," she intoned seriously, "it’s time to come up with the goods." Trouble’s tongue hung out as he panted and romped on the carpeting, hoping for more adventures. Brenda slowly walked over to Jax’s desk and sank down into the chair with a sigh. "Well, boy, I’m comfortable," she nodded towards the door, "and that door’s locked. You can take all the time you want cause neither one of us is leaving this room until you cough up daddy’s slipper." She glanced down but then up again abruptly. "And I meant that *figuratively*, of course!"

Trouble started ambling around the room, sniffing some of the furniture and the rugs, but apparently didn’t feel the need to surrender the goods at the moment. Brenda sat back in the comfortable chair to wait, her elbows propped on the arm-rests and her hands folded in her lap. Several minutes later, she swiveled the chair so that it faced the desk and noticed a local newspaper sitting next to Jax’s PC. Trying to demonstrate to Trouble just how supremely patient she could be, Brenda took the newspaper, made a lot of noise straightening it out, and then began to glance it over, still keeping a watchful eye on her culprit.

It had been a quiet week in Malibu, and Brenda soon found herself with only the sports section and classifieds remaining. She folded down one corner of the newspaper to arch an eyebrow at Trouble. "Your Puppy Chow is gonna get mighty cold if you don’t come up with that slipper soon, pal." But the dog was just as stubborn. Brenda folded up the paper with a disgusted sigh and was about to consider using strong-arm tactics when something caught her eye on the back page of the classifieds.

In her former life, Brenda had never been one to read the obituaries. As her father got older, Harlan would joke that he checked them every morning just to make sure he wasn’t listed. Brenda’s breath caught in her chest. {Oh, my God……you *were* listed on the Obituary Page, Brenda! Back in Port Charles, you DIED!} She chewed on her lower lip. {I wonder if daddy gave "me" a funeral. Did Sonny come? Did he send flowers?}

She tried to shake off the thought as morbid and depressing, but as Brenda watched Trouble still ignoring her dirty looks, she kept coming back to the same idea. {Your nightmares have all been about daddy and Julia lately. Maybe you haven’t ……what is it that they call it?…….had *closure*. Maybe you haven’t come to grips with the fact that Brenda Barrett is gone – she’s dead. You’re Brenda Jacks now, and everyone from that prior life thinks you’re in the ground somewhere.} Brenda snorted softly. {That is, if daddy didn’t have you cremated.}

Brenda glanced once more towards Trouble, who had settled himself in the sunshine coming through the glass doors for a nap. {Well, you’re not going anywhere soon…..} She chewed on her lower lip again but then flipped the switch to activate Jax’s PC and began typing with determination. It only took her a few seconds to sign on and punch in Jax’s password and she was connected to the Internet. A few clicks of the mouse brought up the listing of national newspapers, and after a little browsing, she managed to find the Port Charles Gazette.

She took a deep breath. {Are you really prepared to do this? But if it could mean the end to those horrible nightmares…..} Brenda blinked once but then after a few keystrokes, she found herself entering the date for the day after she "died" back in Port Charles.

The front page came up first, and Brenda was surprised to see that she merited an article on the lower right-hand corner. "Grisly car accident claims two lives," she read softly aloud. She moved the cursor further down the page to read that Veronica and Brenda Barrett had died the day before when the car Brenda was driving went off a cliff on the outskirts of Port Charles. It mentioned that her fiancé, Sonny Corinthos, had been at the scene almost immediately after the crash and had personally supervised the recovery efforts until her body was found.

Brenda looked up and frowned. {That’s right. I remember kinda floating around in the air and seeing him calling my name. But why would he have been there? We were supposed to be meeting for dinner later that night.} Her face began to lose color as an awful thought occurred to her. {Sonny did seem kind of funny the night before, when we had dinner. Almost like he was still angry I found those papers about Benny. But he wouldn’t have…..I mean, my mother grabbed the steering wheel and that’s why we went over…..} Her hand flew to her mouth. {But come to think of it, the brakes did seem kind of mushy, and the steering did lock up when Momma pulled the wheel…..}

Trouble whimpered in his sleep and Brenda’s attention was drawn to the sleeping puppy. "I don’t blame you, pal," she muttered. "It’s a pretty scary thought." She looked back at the screen of the monitor. "Maybe I shouldn’t be doing this after all……maybe I don’t need to know……" But as Brenda read on, she became more and more intrigued. The article quoted police commissioner Mac Scorpio as saying that he was disappointed because the car was too badly damaged after the plunge into the ocean for it to be analyzed for signs of foul play. Immediately thereafter, Sonny was quoted as saying that the car was fine, and he had had it checked out just days before.

{LIAR!! The car hadn’t been in the shop for months!}

Brenda stared at the screen for a few moments longer until she read that a memorial service was planned two days later. She quickly went back to the main menu and accessed the newspaper edition for that date, and sure enough – her memorial service merited a mention on the front page and an article on page 3. Tears stung her eyes, but Brenda bravely read the words to herself.

Brenda sniffled loudly and wiped at her eyes. {So Julia came all the way from London. Probably so she could make daddy feel better.}

Brenda didn’t realize she was sobbing loudly until she felt something warm and soft against her leg. She jumped at first, but then when she looked down, Trouble was sitting next to Jax’s desk chair. He was holding Jax’s slipper in his mouth, and Brenda could almost swear she saw tears in the dog’s eyes, too. Her lower lip trembled as she reached down and picked him up, cradling him to her chest as she wiped at her eyes with the other hand.

"Ohhhhh, Trouble……you’re so much like my Princess, did you know that?" She laughed a little as Trouble licked at her tears. "Say there, that’s a scary thought…..what if you and Princess ever got together someday?" She petted the dog’s soft fur as Trouble curled up in her lap and nuzzled his head against her stomach. "If Jax thinks you’re trouble now, he should see what it would be like to have a whole litter of puppies to deal with!"

Brenda startled again when she heard a soft knocking. A few moments later, Thomas put his head inside the door. "Is everyone still alive in here?"

She quickly hit the save button on Jax’s computer, transferring the newspaper articles to a Word file. "Sure, Thomas." She laughed and petted Trouble again. "The thief has seen the error of his ways."

Thomas walked over to the desk just as Brenda signed off the Internet. "You must have threatened that dog with something pretty awful."

Brenda leaned towards Thomas and smiled. "I just told him we would send him away to an obedience school where there’s no Yappy Hour appetizers if he kept making meals of Jax’s shoes!" She reached down to pick up what remained of Jax’s slipper. "I guess I’d better go shopping for some new ones before Jax comes home. Want to come along with Jon and I and fight the crowds at the mall?"

"I’d be delighted, Mrs. Brenda," Thomas answered. He knew that more had gone on than just finding Jax’s missing slipper from the tears in Brenda’s eyes. "Just let me go make sure everything’s turned off in the kitchen."

Brenda smiled. "That’s great. I’ll change into some jeans and be ready in a few minutes." She watched Thomas leave the room and waited until his footsteps were no longer audible. Then, she turned back quickly to the PC, opened the Word file, and after a short deliberation, printed out the articles about the accident and the memorial service. Once they finished, she turned off the PC and set Trouble back down on the floor. "Well, boy, I guess we found out some *real* interesting stuff this morning."

Trouble followed Brenda to her bedroom. Once inside, she closed the door carefully and then went to her walk-in closet. She took the printouts and hid them in the pocket of an evening coat that hung at the back wall. "Yep, Trouble," she murmured with a grimace, "REAL interesting."

*******************

"That’s it, Jon sweetie! Just a little more and you’ve got it!"

Brenda was so engrossed in her son’s attempts to roll over that she didn’t notice the large shadow that suddenly fell across them. When she finally did, she looked up with a gasp but then smiled broadly. "JAX! You’re home early!"

Jax had shed his suit coat in the foyer as soon as Thomas told him his wife and son were on the beach in the waning afternoon hours. He quickly pulled the knot in his tie loose, yanking it off and tossing it somewhere near his coat before he headed for the gate to the lanai. The top buttons on his shirt were undone as he came down the walkway and right before he got to the beach, he slipped out of his shoes and socks and left them on the deck.

Brenda shaded her eyes from the setting sun as Jax looked a little awkward. "Did things go well for you in Washington?"

He crouched down next to her. "Yeah. Everything’s set. The papers should be signed and filed by this time next week." He looked into her eyes. "I missed you……a lot."

Brenda caught her breath. Things had been quiet but strained between them ever since the night of the kissing demonstration on the beach. Now that Jax was back, she wasn’t exactly sure where they stood or what would happen next. "We missed you, too." She looked down at Jon, who was still grunting with the effort to roll over. "Jon’s been trying so hard to……."

Jax gripped her arm as they both watched Jon intently. He seemed to realize that he had the undivided attention of both of his parents, and with one more mighty grunt, he successfully flipped from his tummy to his back. "HE DID IT!!!!" Jax shouted so loudly that a couple about 200 yards from them on the beach turned and gave him a strange look, but the proud daddy didn’t care. He scooped Jon up and hugged him to his chest, sitting down in the sand. "Did you see, Brenda? He really did it!!"

Tears were rolling down Brenda’s cheeks. She silently sent a thank-you to God for letting Jon’s accomplishment happen for the first time with his father present. The way life had been for Jax lately, it was nothing short of a miracle. "I saw, Jax!" she nodded, stroking Jon’s arm lovingly. "He must have known that his daddy was here and that gave him the last little oomph he needed!"

The smile faded from Jax’s face as he turned to Brenda. "Not only that, Brenda. I think he knew that we *both* were here." Their gazes held until Jon started squirming in Jax’s arms, forcing Jax to turn back to him. "Whatsa matter, little man? Do you want to try that for daddy again?"

Brenda was smiling as she turned back towards the ocean but then her smile turned to open-mouthed amazement. "Jax!" She pointed towards the water. "Look! Is that.....a dolphin?"

Jax got to his feet, still holding Jon tightly against his chest. He squinted towards the spot where she pointed. "It might be. Sometimes we get a few that come close enough to the shore for us to see."

Brenda scrambled to her feet and kicked off her shoes. "I want to wade in and see if I can touch it!"

She took off running towards the surf so quickly that Jax was left sputtering. "Brenda! You can’t -- don’t go too far out!"

"I’m just going to go in up to my knees!" She waved at him over her shoulder and hiked up her long lounging dress to trudge into the water. He could hear her laughing where he stood. As Jax watched, Brenda scooped up some water and dribbled it down her front, giggling like a schoolgirl.

"That’s some mommy you’ve got there, little man," Jax muttered under his breath. "I never thought I’d see the day......" He frowned against the sun and then his expression sobered. "BRENDA! Don’t go too near that thing! They can be more powerful than they look!"

He muttered some words under his breath that he sincerely hoped Jon never repeated in polite company as Brenda slowly approached the dolphin. When she reached out as if to pet it, Jax swore loudly, set Jon down on his blanket, rolled up the legs of his trousers, and then picked up the baby again and took off sprinting towards the shallow water. The waves lapped against his ankles and he gripped Jon tightly as he heard Brenda’s carefree laugh and saw her almost touch the friendly mammal. He held his breath as it circled her once, and then swam back out towards deeper water.

Brenda turned back to them with a smile that he swore was positively angelic. She laughed again and came wading towards them, holding up her dress daintily. "Did you see that? Did you see how we almost made friends?"

Jax waited until she was almost next to him before he spoke. "Brenda, those dolphins aren’t puppies like Trouble. They’re huge mammals." She pouted as she came up next to him and patted Jon, who gurgled happily in Jax’s arms. "I’m serious, Brenda." Jax tried to catch her arm with his free hand. "One sweep of that tail could knock a little thing like you into next week!"

"Awwww, Jon, isn’t that sweet?" She rubbed the baby’s back. "Your daddy was worried about me." She stepped back when Jax frowned at her again and clasped her hands behind her back contritely. "I promise I won’t go running after any more dolphins before asking permission, sir!"

Jax just shook his head as he followed Brenda back to their spot on the beach. She plopped herself down in the sand and started to wring out the soaked hem of her dress as Jax took a spot next to her. Once she had gotten most of the excess water out, Brenda sighed in contentment and pulled her knees up to her chest, staring out at the ocean. Jax lay Jon back down on his blanket and the baby promptly started trying to roll over again while his father watched. "It’s so beautiful here, Jax." She pushed the hair back out of her eyes that blew forward and then gestured towards the ocean. "The water, the sunshine, the dolphins……" She sighed. "I don’t know how you ever manage to leave this place and go back to the city."

Jax flipped Jon to his back when the baby started to whimper in unhappiness. He gave him his finger to play with as he snorted sarcastically. "You really think so, huh?"

Brenda frowned. "What’s that supposed to mean?"

Jax shrugged and shook his head. "It’s just that before you die……….before Jon was born," he amended, "you always used to hate this place." He continued to look at Jon, his eyes not meeting hers. "No exclusive shopping centers, no health clubs, only a few bars – you usually couldn’t *wait* to get back to Carly and the city."

"But all that has changed, Jax." Brenda’s voice was soft yet Jax finally looked up into her eyes. "*I’ve* changed." She covered his hand with hers. "A lot about *us* has changed, and I think you see that now."

Jax nodded quietly. He picked a fretting Jon up off the blanket and handed him to Brenda, who cradled him to her. As soon as she did, he stopped crying and stuffed his thumb in his mouth to drift happily off to sleep. As the sun went down, Jax put his arm around Brenda’s shoulder and watched the orange and red splendor in the clouds with her.

*******************

Brenda paused to take a deep breath of the sultry night air. She hadn’t really planned to be walking along the beach in the dark, but now somehow, something about it seemed like the right thing to do.

She had hoped to have a quiet supper with Jax after the exciting afternoon on the beach with Jon. But as soon as they got inside, Jax excused himself to the study to call Thao and update him on how the trip to Washington had gone. Brenda poked her head inside the study when Thomas announced supper was ready, only to have Jax grimace at her while still on the phone. He had just hung up with Thao when an emergency call came in from the Hong Kong J&J Jacks office. Although Jax was anxious to spend some time alone with Brenda, he explained that he really needed to straighten things out before another trip overseas was required.

The "quick" emergency call had led to several more calls, and Brenda found herself eating supper alone again. She wandered aimlessly around the house after dinner but when she found the door to Jax’s study closed tightly, she decided to just take a long soak in the bathtub and head for bed. She hoped that maybe Jax would come and interrupt her bubble bath, but when he didn’t, she came back out to the study, only to find the door open and the room dark. Thomas finally informed her that Jax had gone down to the beach to swim and try to work off some of the tensions of the day.

Brenda’s thin gauze dress clung to her body in the humid night air. She took off the fabric belt and tied it around her hair to pull it back and try to lift the weight from her shoulders. The lightweight sandals proved to be no match for the sand, so Brenda took them off and carried them in her hands as she watched the moon peeking from behind some clouds.

She was about to turn and go back to the house when she saw him. Jax came up from the water like some kind of ancient god of the ocean – rivulets of water ran down his sculpted chest towards the waistband of the snug swim trunks he wore. He pushed the hair back out of his eyes as he trudged slowly through the sand. Before he reached a towel spread on the beach, he paused for a moment and leaned over, grasping his knees with his hands and breathing hard.

"All work and no play turning you into a weakling, huh?" The sound of Brenda’s voice caused Jax to look up at her abruptly. "Oh, I’m sorry," she said softly. "I didn’t mean to startle you."

"That’s alright," he replied, walking towards her slowly. "I just wasn’t expecting company."

Brenda found it difficult to breathe as he came to stand directly in front of her in the moonlight. The water on his chest glistened, and she realized that his breathing wasn’t even, either. "Do you want me to leave?" Her words were strangled.

Jax raised a hand to cup the side of her face. As Brenda looked into his eyes and saw that they had turned a darker shade of blue, the sandals slipped from her hands and landed on the beach. "What do *you* want?" he whispered.

"You." Brenda leaned her face into his hand, kissing his palm lightly. She looked back into his eyes. Jax inhaled shakily as she ran her palms up his chest, taking extra time as her thumbs slid over his nipples. When she reached his shoulders and she started to run her hands down his arms, Jax gripped her wrists.

"You realize that we’re playing with fire, here, don’t you Brenda?"

She pulled free of his loose grasp and stepped deliberately to him so that her breasts touched his chest. His eyes closed and he inhaled sharply as he realized she wasn’t wearing anything under the dress. "Then burn me, Jax," she whispered in a husky voice.

You know that it would be untrue,

Their lips met halfway as Jax leaned down and Brenda raised on tiptoe for his kiss. Jax sighed and slipped his arms around Brenda’s waist, pulling her against him as his tongue slipped into the honey of her mouth. Brenda’s fingers trailed up the sides of his neck to bury themselves in his damp hair. She moaned softly when he pulled back briefly but then just changed the slant of his mouth so that he could deepen the kiss.

Jax slid his hands down past her waist to cup her derriere, causing her back to arch and her center to press even closer to his desire for her. Brenda continued his motion as she wrapped her arms around his neck for support and then wound her legs around his waist, returning his kiss with equal ardor.

The time to hesitate is through,

He lowered her to the sand, never breaking the kiss. As soon as Brenda felt the weight of Jax’s body press against hers, she pulled away from his kiss. Her hands left his shoulders to slide down towards the waistband of his swim trunks. "I need you – now, Jax," she moaned.

"Not yet." He levered his weight up off her and hooked his fingers in the elastic neckline of her dress. She continued to stare into his eyes as he lowered it past her breasts and down to her waist. "You always were the most beautiful woman I ever saw, Brenda," he whispered, reverently leaning down to worship her breasts with his lips.

Brenda wound her fingers in his hair. Her back bowed, bringing her breasts closer to his mouth. Vague unsettling thoughts plagued her as she realized that Jax was referring to "her" body, and not Brenda Barrett’s body. But when his lips closed over her breast, Brenda pushed those distressing doubts out of her mind and abandoned herself to the pleasure he was giving her.

You had a hold on me right from the start

Jax transferred his attentions to her other breast, but when she felt him pull her dress and then her panties from her, she grabbed his face in her hands. "Please, Jax," she moaned. "I can’t wait much longer. I need you now."

She sat up slightly and helped him push the swim trunks down his legs. When she saw Jax’s nude body for the first time, Brenda caught her breath. He was truly more magnificent than she had ever imagined. He placed his hands on both sides of her shoulders and when he lowered his body to cover hers, Brenda sighed in pleasure. Just the feel of his bare skin rubbing against hers was nearly enough to drive her over the edge. But when he slowly made them one, her eyes flew open to stare into his.

Brenda suddenly realized that Jax had a shocked look on his face. "Jax, what’s the matter?" She cupped his face in her hands. "Don’t you……." She dug her heels into the sand and tried to push away, but he only slid his hands under the small of her back to make their union even deeper.

"No! It’s not that!" He was breathing raggedly, and his hips were moving ever so slowly, filling her to the limits and then leaving her empty and aching for his possession again. "It’s just that……." He took a shaky breath. "I just……I never remember it being like this. We never used to …….. fit…….like this." He moved even further into her again, causing her to gasp at the feeling. "It’s just so…….."

"……perfect," she finished for him. Brenda stroked his face lovingly with her hands as he kept up the rhythm that almost made her unable to speak. "It’s not our bodies, Jax," she murmured. "It’s our souls. They’re what’s making it perfect."

Jax nodded wordlessly and then let his full body weight settle against her as he seized her lips in a ferocious kiss. The waves that came up and broke around them couldn’t cool the fiery explosion that was building. The stars seemed to explode behind Brenda’s eyes as she reached heights she never had before in her life. The pulsing pleasure was just receding when she felt Jax increase the rhythm of his movements. He leaned down and sucked her earlobe as he reached his peak, and when Brenda felt the shower of Jax’s warmth deep inside her, she hugged him to her and her spasms started once again.

Several minutes later, Jax rolled to Brenda’s side and gathered her into his arms. He stroked her hair gently. "I didn’t want to do it, you know."

Brenda looked up at him, confusion and hurt showing in her eyes. "You didn’t want to make love with me?"

Jax cupped her face and kissed her tenderly. "No – that’s not it." He traced her kiss-swollen lips with his thumb. "I’ve been wanting to have sex with you for a long time, Brenda. But making love……" He took a deep breath. "……When two people really make love, they make a connection that’s deeper, you know? You surrender yourself to your lover – become one with them, and not just physically."

Her eyes widened in understanding. "And you weren’t sure if you were ready to make yourself that vulnerable again? To open yourself up enough to let me in?"

Jax nodded. He continued to stroke her face with his thumb. "But I’m glad I did, Brenda." He lowered his hand to cup her breast and she felt herself start to want him all over again. "It felt so right for us tonight. Like we *belonged* together. Like we were part of each other. I don’t think it’s ever felt like this before between us."

As Jax continued his attentions to her breast, Brenda started to breathe faster. Jax got a smug smile on his face. Finally, she caught his wrist in her hand. "You know, Mr. Jacks, I think I really need a shower. I’ve got sand ALL over me."

His hand roved lower and his smile broadened. "You know, Mrs. Jacks, I do believe you’re right." He gathered her into his arms and then rose to his feet, holding her against his chest, arching an eyebrow playfully. "In fact, I think I may have picked up some sand myself."

She pretended to be deadly serious. "And we both know how upset it would make Thomas to find sand in the sheets." Jax nodded as he turned back towards the house. "I think we’d better shower together so we can both be sure we’ve gotten every grain of sand off before we go to bed."

Brenda’s dress and sandals and Jax’s swim trunks lay forgotten on the beach as Jax carried her slowly back towards the house. He kicked the gate to the lanai open with his foot and kissed Brenda one last time before closing it behind them.

Late at night, you’re takin’ me home,

I say I don’t love you, but you know I’m a liar,

If the first time they made love on the beach was frenzied and frantic, the second time in the shower was prolonged and thorough. The two lovers seemed to catalog every inch of each other’s bodies. Brenda felt Jax’s fingers against her breasts and realized that they were smooth and not callused. Jax traced the curve of her stomach where his child had grown just months before with his lips.

When they moved to the bed, their sighs mingled with the night breezes that were coming through the windows of their bedroom. Jax caught Brenda’s cries of pleasure with kisses so that she wouldn’t wake Jon. They found their "perfect fit" again and when they reached their peaks simultaneously, Brenda realized what God had meant the day she died. In finding Jax’s heart and healing it, she had found her true soul. She had found what love was really supposed to be.

********************

{Nooooo.......this can’t be happening. Not now. It’s starting again. There’s daddy, and Julia, and Sonny.......Sonny’s standing by the car......he’s smiling and telling me to have a nice drive with my mother.......he’s following our car ........ I can see him, standing on the cliff, watching us go over the side........he’s calling my name, but now he’s ………he’s……..smiling..……….....NOOOOOOOO!!!!}

It was almost dawn when Brenda’s whimpering woke Jax from a sound sleep. They had drifted off in each other’s arms, so when she started tossing and turning, Jax felt it immediately. He propped himself up on his elbow and watched as the tears started coursing down her cheeks, even in sleep.

"Brenda....." Jax whispered her name softly. He touched her shoulder, but this dream seemed more intense than many of the others. She didn’t wake up, and her moaning and crying got louder.

"Noooo, NO!" Finally Jax grabbed both of Brenda’s shoulders and forced her to face him. He shook her gently and when she finally opened her eyes, she realized what had happened. "Jax?" She gripped her forearms so tightly he thought she might bruise them. "I was dreaming again, wasn’t I?"

Jax nodded, but Brenda suddenly noticed that his face was grim. "Yes, you were. Seemed like a bad one."

Brenda swallowed hard, let go of him, and buried her face in her hands. "It was." She shook her head. "Really awful." When she looked up at him a few moments later, she realized he was staring at her oddly. "Jax......what’s the matter?" She looked towards Jon’s crib. "Did I wake the baby?"

"No, Brenda. He’s fine." Jax pulled himself up to lean against the headboard. He stared down into his lap and prickles of fear ran down Brenda’s spine.

"Then what’s the matter, Jax?" She put her hand on his arm and felt him flinch. "Did I say......something? When I was dreaming?"

Jax nodded and then she saw the hint of tears in his eyes. "Brenda.......who’s Sonny?"

To be continued.......

Music Credits: "Light My Fire" was written and recorded by The Doors. For this chapter, though, I prefer to imagine the version by Jose Feliciano, including the throbbing, sensual guitar chords at the beginning to set the mood for the love scene. "Fire" was written by Bruce Springsteen and recorded by the Pointer Sisters for their album "Energy" in 1978.